I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 27006
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I have a friend who recently experienced this problem and I don't know what kind of advice to give her. Her and her bf (of a few years) got into a fight. He called her a bad name (c___), she smacked him and he smacked her back (she said it was pretty hard but that he told her he did it by accident kind of a reaction or something).. He's never hit her before nor does he seem like that kind of guy to me. She's not sure if this should be a big deal to her and while I normally say you should never stay with a man who hits you she did hit him first. What should I tell her? =/ (link)
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She needs to realize that striking him for calling her a name is inexcusable, as is his striking her back. The behavior doesn't surprise me, (How often have you seen this on TV, or in the movies). Why we imitate staged behavior, I will never know, Monkey see, monkey do maybe. Their staying together approves this behavior and validates it, improper behavior must come at a price or they learn nothing. They both need to seek help separately and if nothing else exact their own punishment by staying apart until they know for sure that it will never happen again.
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Rating: 4
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I agree, I was going to say something like " you were both wrong, neither of you should be hitting eachother " but I'm not so sure they're the seeking help type .. maybe I'll add that if it happens again they should definately take time apart to reevaluate everything
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