I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
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I am a man in my 20s. I've had this female friend since I started college, and she's one of the best friends I could ever ask for.
Thing is, I have had a crush on her since she and I met. Now, the attraction never changed, but I know that she will not see me as anything more than a friend. In fact, she's maintained friendships with people who were attracted to her, because as she says, "Why should she let that change the friendship?"
The thing is, I don't know how to tell her. I'm afraid that I'll be the exception to her rule. And I know she and I will not be together like that, but I want to be honest with my friend.
Help me be honest without losing my friend. I know it already seems like she would accept me anyway, but still, I'm afraid. (link)
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Good sir,
I have always tried to live my life with no regrets, but the things that go unsaid in life are some of the biggest regrets one can have. The one thing most women do not understand is, that men can not be friends with a women unless there is something that attracts them to her in the first place.
You will see the day that you will regret not telling her the truth and you will wonder what might have been. Not only that, but your friendship is will not last either way. There will come a point where you will have to let her go whether you tell her or not, it may be when she falls for another guy, or when she marries him, (three is a crowd in your case). There are very few men that would not notice your "crush" for her and even fewer that would tolerate it. You would be a contention between the women you love, (face it), and her man. If you ever want a chance to be that man, she has to know your feelings for her. To be important, you have to be willing to take chances and stick your neck out. You can love friends, but you can't be in love with friends, make your choice and make your move. What is the difference, fail now, or fail later?
Good luck my friend, from one who took a chance and found his soul mate of 30 years now.
Thank you for responding so quickly, but come on, you think men are the only ones with ego? Telling this young lady will not cost you your friendship, it will only feed the ego her statement to you clearly says she has. You might find out what you think you know is wrong.
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Rating: 4
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I thank you for your heartfelt words, and will consider them wisely. Although like I said, I already know she's not interested in me like that. Still, I refuse to not have her in my life in some way.
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