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Q: 19/f

My boyfriend always thinks I'm cheating on him. In reality, I haven't even spoken to a male in about a year (besides my dad).

He has his reasons because I cheated on around a year ago, but I guess he doesn't understand that I've changed. He is severely paranoid. If I don't answer my phone but call back less than ten minutes afterwards, he assumes I was with a guy. He always asks where I am, who I'm with, and I have to tell him where I'm going all the time (that is, IF I ever go anywhere).

The thing is, it's like he won't let me break up with him. When we first started going out, we would break up all the time and get back together. He thinks it's always going to be this way. It seems like the only way this will end is if one of us dies (that may sound like I'm going to kill him but I assure you that's not what I'm saying!)

The only other way I see this is if I were to cheat on him, because he would never cheat on me. After all these years, I'm surprised he hasn't. But I don't want to cheat on him! I love him so much, but I'm so tired of being in a relationship. Just looking a guy makes me sick. I can't do this anymore.

Well, yesterday he was upset with me as usual, so I just shut my phone off all day. He assumed that I was cheating on him.

I know this isn't the right way to go, but it seems like the only way out. BUT I don't want him to believe a lie, thinking that I cheated on him.

Then again, I don't want to go through all the effort of trying to convince him. I'm just sick and tired of it. In my heart, I want to be with him, but I know he won't change. I can't live like this anymore (no, I'm not suicidal).

Maybe we'll have a chance together in the future, but we probably won't be the same people as we used to be. Plus, I'm a jealous person by nature, and I will go crazy if he is with other people.

So, how do I go about this? Or what would you do if you were me in this situation?

Thanks in advance.

My ex was like that when I tried to break-up with him the first like 4 or 5 times and he was always very very jealous. I got to where just seeing his face made my stomach churn and I just couldn't stand feeling so trapped anymore. I broke up with him at a football game and he went ballistic and tried to get me to take him back all weekend. I stood my ground and told him that I just felt trapped and that maybe we would be together later, but that we just weren't supposed to be together right now. It was hard on him and he kept kind of stalking me for a while, but I just had to put my foot down and even though I didn't want to hurt him and I cared about him I had to let him go.

You shouldn't lie to him though and make him think you are cheating because that is going to hurt him really bad. I understand why he is jealous because you cheated and once someone has cheated on you it is extremly hard to get that trust back. If you feel as though you really don't want to break up with him then just sit down and talk to him. Let him know that you really don't want to hurt him but if he doesn't change then you are going to have to move on. Tell him that you can't handle him not trusting you and that you really want it to work, but if he doesn't trust you it won't. If that fails then put your foot down and let him go.

Hope I Helped.

Rating: 5

It's kind of relieving to know that someone else has experienced this. Thank you!!

bio

I am a 19 year old female. I am the least judgmental person you will ever meet. I am funny. I am free-willed. I am a lover. I am a friend. I have been through alot & many people call me their guru. & I will try to give you the healthiest advice possible. I may be young but I have a lot of life experiences in many areas, and since my career will be giving advice I figured I'd give a head start. I can be blunt and will give you my honest opinion, although I will do it in a nice way.
I am married to an amazing guy, we have been together since my Junior year & we can't be happier. I have 2 dogs & they are my babies, life wouldnt be the same without them. I am going into my 2nd year of college, I plan to get a degree in Radiology.

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