cloudy_conscience's advice column

askcloudy_conscience

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: So I had a boyfriend, that i was extremely good friends wtih when i met him last august, well we talked alot and i always went to bed with a smile on my face after our conversations. He asked me out in the beggining of november and i couldnt have been more happier. he dumped me mid may because hes moving soon and didnt know if he wanted a girlfriend still. so he was known as the goofy player type. and i thought i had changed him from that, but the day after he broke up with me, he went back to his playerish self and was all over girls. now when he broke up wtih me over the phone, he told me he still wanted to be friends. now i see him at dances and gatherings like that, and its so awkward because he is all over everyone, and it hurts. the day after he broke up with me when i saw him, it was an awkward hi and hug, and my friends werent being that nice to him so i felt really bad. but i talked to him at it and he even got a bit teary eyed, but i didnt know if he actually cared or not. parts of me think he did and parts of me think he just wanted to make me feel better. well the day after that, i called him to make sure he was okay and he said yeah and that the question was if i was okay, and i said im alright, and im like i guess, i just felt really bad about how people were acting. well now its a month later, we had a dance, he was with this one girl and his one guy friend knew how i was feeling and told him later that night, so then my ex apologized and said he heard i had looked dissappointed and said he shouldn't have done that and asked if i was okay, and i told him he can do what he wants because i have no control over that, and i just dont move on as fast as others, especially because this is my first relationship. i saw him saturday, we hugged and said hi then when we were leaving he said bye and lifted me up, but i dont know. he was even trying to flirt, dance, and kiss my friends? im like oh thanks. i miss the friendship we had, and i feel like whenever we talk its awkward, or i have NO CLUE what to say. and i just want the friendship to be how it used to be. I feel like i have no time because hes moving in a month and a half. i feel like the more i cared the more i made it worse and the more pain i caused myeslf. people tell me i deserve better, but they don't know what i saw in him when i went out with him, it was when i was the happiest, if anyone could tell me what i should do, or how i should feel, it'd be really apreciated, i apologize for the length of this! lol

Well what other people think really has nothing to do and if you saw something and you cared about him then thats perfectly okay. As for getting your friendship back to the way it used to be I don't know if there is really a way for that to happen. After you date someone everything changes and things will never be the same. They could be good again but never the same. That could be a good thing.

I think the best thing for you to do is just move on, maybe even stay away from him because it is very painful to be around someone that you cared about and lost under measures out of your control. I'm not saying avoid him, just don't attempt to hang out with him and when you do see him just greet him as normal and go on about your business. It is going to be hard to get over him considering you said he was your first relationship and everything, but it will come and things will get better with time.

Hope I Helped.

Rating: 5

thannnnks!(:

bio

I am a 19 year old female. I am the least judgmental person you will ever meet. I am funny. I am free-willed. I am a lover. I am a friend. I have been through alot & many people call me their guru. & I will try to give you the healthiest advice possible. I may be young but I have a lot of life experiences in many areas, and since my career will be giving advice I figured I'd give a head start. I can be blunt and will give you my honest opinion, although I will do it in a nice way.
I am married to an amazing guy, we have been together since my Junior year & we can't be happier. I have 2 dogs & they are my babies, life wouldnt be the same without them. I am going into my 2nd year of college, I plan to get a degree in Radiology.

I am currently really busy in my life but I will answer any and all questions that are sent to my inbox. I do my best to get on & answer as many questions as possible whenever I am on. If you wish for me to answer one of your questions please submit them. Thanks.