Good day everyone.
I am a nursing student. My ultimate goal is to be a travel nurse.
I am happily married for over 12 years and have 3 children: ages 6, 4, and 2. Family is the most important thing in the world and I want to help families work out problems so they do not have to be torn apart.
If your family is as important to you as mine is to me, get the help you need. If you do not like my advice, I respect that but look for someone that works for your needs.
Your family is worth it!
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home maker/ nursing student
Age: 31
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 223
Last Update: September 27, 2011
Visitors: 34706
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I really want help for my cutting but i dont know how to get help. besides my friends should i tell someone? i CANT let my parents know and most people would go and tell my parents. and without my parents knowing i cant join a support group or see a counselor. what should i do!?!?!?! Thank you SO much!!!!! (link)
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You already received a great answer from RachYay but I want to elaborate a little (or a lot... that's my usual way)
She is right, you should absolutely talk to people you trust and get the help. You have done wonders already by admitting the problem and you clearly want to get help.
My issue with your statements is why you can't tell your parents? I know a lot of parents are terrible. They can be verbally/physically abusive, alcoholics, etc and NOT the kind of people you can discuss this with. If this is your case, I completely understand your need to go elsewhere. But... assuming that you have fairly normal parents who work hard for your well being, love you, and are trustworthy... I really have to question why you can't tell them. It almost seems (mind you, just from a small paragraph you wrote) that you "can't" tell your parents because you are AFRAID of what they will think of you, HOW they will react, and the fact that they actually WILL react. I question if you are wanting help... but almost afraid of the help and if you tell your parents, you feel that is certainly what is going to happen. They might put you in a support group, start you in counseling, and this means your life and lifestyle may have to change.
Again, assuming your parents are normal... I question WHY none of your friends, for YOUR well being, haven't already told your parents? I had a friend when I was in high school told me in confidence that she had attempted suicide recently. Confidence or not... I immediately told her mom. She needed to know!!! When people do these things it is a cry for help and if no one knows, finds out, or hears it from someone else, this cry goes unheard which is incredibly sad and DANGEROUS.
As a counselor, I would not be allowed to tell your parents. I would HIGHLY encourage you to do so, I would pray that SOME HOW they find out. You seem to WANT support and counseling but seem reluctant to take the next step. I am here right now with all my abilities of typing and coming up with the right words, begging you to discuss this with your parents, aunt, uncle, local police office, physician, teacher, ANYONE who can get you help. You deserve the best life has to offer. If you are in a place right now mentally where you don't believe that you need to fight for yourself. If you are afraid to tell your own parents, tell someone who you think WILL tell them. That's a good way to "not want them to know" but make sure they find out.
This advice column is so difficult for me because I truly care about what happens to all of you I respond to and not knowing if you are hearing what I or anyone else says... is frightening.
If you have "those parents" that simply cannot be told... tell ANYONE that can get you that help. A school counselor would be a great place to start but don't delay on it. You can be happy and love yourself. You CAN and you deserve it. Take some of your burden off yourself and share it with those who love you and can show you a better way.
Best of luck to you. I hope in all of my rambling, something struck you and you will succeede.
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Rating: 5
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thanks so much! your right and i want to ask you another question so be expecting one later :) and thanks
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