I live in Central Wisconsin. I am married and we have two daughters. In 1997 I earned my degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. In my spare time I study psychology and philosophy.
Gender: Male
Location: Stevens Point, WI
Occupation: Phlebotomy Coordinator (Clinical Laboratory)
Age: 35
Member Since: October 19, 2005
Answers: 118
Last Update: January 24, 2010
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How can i relax? I've tried breathing exercises and stuff like that and writing down all the things that stress me out (which isn't much), but they don't really help. the only time i really feel relaxed is when im by myself at a park or someplace like on vacation =) but who doesn't?
I also can never 'be in the moment.' like.. I'm just not IN it. i don't really know how to explain it but once i heard soemone say they felt that way too and it was like "watching yourself in 3rd person." or whatever. I don't feel completely like that but sometimes it does.. & it feels like i just can't focus.
It's not terribly bad, but I was wondering what can I do to stop feeling that way? (link)
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You're trying to achieve a mental state that no one can describe for you. Since you think that someone else's description of this experience is something you can strive to accomplish, you have failed before you've begun.
Instead of trying to match some one else's mental state, just simplify, simplify, and sit still, listen to your breath, in, out, . . . in . . . out . . . . . . in . . . . . . . . out . . . . . . . slowly, regulary, . . . . . . . . in . . . . . out, follow your breath . . . .. . allow your breath to become your state of mind. That's key. Your present experience, your state of mind, is all about your breath, and nothing but your breath. The breath is not important, but if you follow it with concentration, you aren't following anything else.
Of course, now I'm describing a state of mind you can't obtain because it's a state of mind that I've obtained.
Meditation is as personal as thought.
The only guideline I can give you is to sit still, and sit regularly, and I know the rest will come. It will be authentic, as all mental states are. Stop trying to obtain something that someone else has described. Write your own script.
Dr. Chad
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