|
| |
i'm a 22 year felmale and was very clingy to my exboyfriend and is the reason why we broke up.
what i want to know is why do people become clingy what causes this and how can you stop?
him and i still care for each other but i still show him that i am clingy and we both don't like the fact that i became like this. (link)
|
Im sorry to hear this.
I know EXACTLY where you're coming from.
To be honest, I felt I was clingy..and the only reason was because I was insecure due to HIS actions.
He basically controled me like a robot..and my first boyfriend was the same.
Unfortunatley he moulded me into this clingy monster, who WASNT the real me at ALL and all I could do was secretly blame him, whilst he PUBLICALLY blamed me.
I hope you were treated better and im not sure if these are the same cirumstances for you, however, it doesnt seem to me as if your ex reasoned with you (un-harshly), or tried to help you.
(maybe if he did you'd still be together :()
Please realise that you are able to control yourself, and you CAN gradually stop..once youve found the right person who doesnt make you feel clingy!
I think clingyness is a result from not being able to truest them, or feeling unloved in some form. I know this is true in my case!
You want to show him youre not clingy?
If he calls you...dont pick up first time.
Wait for him to call. If he hasnt called you back 3 hours later, YOU call ( whenever you like)casually apologise, saying you were busy and didnt realise he rang.
If he texts, emails you..or contacts you in any form (APART FROM SPEECH!) Then delay your reply.
(MORE THAN 10 MONUTES!! haha)
Unless he urgently needs you... you can be as lazy as you like replying, even though i know it's tempting to tet him back, myspace him back or whatever IMMEDIATLEY!
You'll just have to resist temptaion, reassuring yourself that its for the best :(
Dont have a hostile tone towards him if you want to maintain the peace, just explain that youve got alot going on blah blah..and if he doesnt seem to like it ( he wont come out and say it..unless youre ex is a rude as mine :)) but if he doesnt like it..you know its working.
If youre on a really good friends basis, then suggest to meet up in a week or so ( if you know he wont object).
The reason to meet up a while away is to show youre not desperate to see him but to show that you still care.
If he blows you off, just say it doesnt mattter and youll keep the original plans to go with your friend, but thought he may like shotgun or something.
However, if HE is the one saying, "can't we see eachother sooner?" then let him have what he wants...BUT if he says "Wednesday?" say..."uhh..no ...thursday :)"
Then you have control..which is the thing you lacked in your relationship.
I really wish you luck, being able to relate with this on so many levels.
Update me if you need more help or anything!
Take care,
Alex
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
thank you so much i going to try this out and i'll let you know how it goes
|
|
