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I joined this site when I was very young (hence the ridiculous username) but now I feel I'mn old enough to give out advice.

Ask me anytime. I have had my fair shares of family issues, as well as good at solving relationship problems.

advice

My father was dying of cancer, i stayed by his bedside 2-3 nights a week coming home to say high and change clothes every day. my friend of 20 years was helping my husband of 10 years + 3 years of dating care for our 2 children. i found out they were locking my kids out of the house without water, food, bathroom, for their own private time in our bed, i found her ring in our bed, and oneday came in to find them in our bed after he said it stopped,he told me and the kids all he wanted was her so we left. ow a few years later he said i left its all my fault ecause he didt think i loved him enough to stay home, if i had to choose again i wouldnt change a thing, i just need to let it go, and dont quite know how, she wont let him talk to me or the kids and it really hurts{them more then me}i had noone to cry to, my family was going thru hell, and my best friend and husband was twisting the knife in my back pretty hard, any advice would be helpful.

this is really horrbile but i will tell you something you are one of the most kindest "stay strong" kind of person i've heard of.You stuck by your family and that is definatly something to be proud of.Your husband and friend should of been supportive and they werent , they hurt you.
It takes time to get over something like that, in factyou might not ever be ok with it.
He told you it was over, but it was't.
You were RIGHT to move away & your "ex" friend is WRONG for your husband not to see the kids.
If i was you i wouldn't keep in contact with people who cause you pain, i think the best thing to do it right a letter with your ture thoughts to him and tell him that if he wants to see the kids he should, (obviously not treating them like dirt) and even though they didnt support you through a bad time tell him for once in his life to pick his own flesh and blood children than a women who tells you what to do...write you thoughts down.. and after that you dont need to keep in contact with him (unless he wants to see the kids)
i cant tell you how to get over the hurt but the best thing todo is put all the pain behind by caring for your children, write your husband a letter...get a divcorce if its hurting you too much....and i think you need to visit your dads grave/place where his ashes were scattered because i think you havnt mourned over your father due to a selfish husband and cheating friend.
dont go back to him and dont let him into your life ..you have had enough pain and its time to stand your ground, be strong and to stop the pain
x

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(Rating: 5) Thank you so much, i guess i just needed to hear that i done the right thing!
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