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How do i get over the hurt


Question Posted Saturday September 8 2007, 3:17 am

My father was dying of cancer, i stayed by his bedside 2-3 nights a week coming home to say high and change clothes every day. my friend of 20 years was helping my husband of 10 years + 3 years of dating care for our 2 children. i found out they were locking my kids out of the house without water, food, bathroom, for their own private time in our bed, i found her ring in our bed, and oneday came in to find them in our bed after he said it stopped,he told me and the kids all he wanted was her so we left. ow a few years later he said i left its all my fault ecause he didt think i loved him enough to stay home, if i had to choose again i wouldnt change a thing, i just need to let it go, and dont quite know how, she wont let him talk to me or the kids and it really hurts{them more then me}i had noone to cry to, my family was going thru hell, and my best friend and husband was twisting the knife in my back pretty hard, any advice would be helpful.

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sweetipie205 answered Sunday September 9 2007, 3:01 pm:
You remind me of my mom. She is also strong and considering I'm a child going through the same thing with the children type thing(no I dont have any) maybe I can give you some advice on how to keep them from getting deppressed. First off- my dad wants nothing to do with me and neither my step mom. I know how the kids feel. First, dont think about it around the kids. Be happy and try to keep their father off their minds by doing activities with them. Like playing sports(if you have boys) or going to the mall and getting clothes(if you have girls). Or just talk to them. Make sure you are in their life. Second- Make sure they have the right type of friends. This way, if they're deppressed by the situation, they start drugs or go emo or gothic.
Thirdly- If you are really upset by the situation and dont know where to turn. You can always talk to me or go to a person who had a phycology(sp) degree and get help. I know I'm only 13, but I gave you the best advice I could. God bless you, and I hope things get better.

-sweetipie205

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mariahwannabe answered Sunday September 9 2007, 9:58 am:
this is really horrbile but i will tell you something you are one of the most kindest "stay strong" kind of person i've heard of.You stuck by your family and that is definatly something to be proud of.Your husband and friend should of been supportive and they werent , they hurt you.
It takes time to get over something like that, in factyou might not ever be ok with it.
He told you it was over, but it was't.
You were RIGHT to move away & your "ex" friend is WRONG for your husband not to see the kids.
If i was you i wouldn't keep in contact with people who cause you pain, i think the best thing to do it right a letter with your ture thoughts to him and tell him that if he wants to see the kids he should, (obviously not treating them like dirt) and even though they didnt support you through a bad time tell him for once in his life to pick his own flesh and blood children than a women who tells you what to do...write you thoughts down.. and after that you dont need to keep in contact with him (unless he wants to see the kids)
i cant tell you how to get over the hurt but the best thing todo is put all the pain behind by caring for your children, write your husband a letter...get a divcorce if its hurting you too much....and i think you need to visit your dads grave/place where his ashes were scattered because i think you havnt mourned over your father due to a selfish husband and cheating friend.
dont go back to him and dont let him into your life ..you have had enough pain and its time to stand your ground, be strong and to stop the pain
x

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