Whatever your problem is, chances are I have dealt with it- either directly of indirectly- at some point in my life. I've worked as a Social Worker (with issues like mental illness, addiction, disabilities, eating disorders, etc.)
I've also taught school (to teens!)and have experience mentoring them.
In addition to that, I've lived in 4 different countries, many different cities, and worked jobs in all different fields from Software Sales to Fashion Designer.
This diverse life experience has given me knowledge on a wide variety of topics- which I hope I can put to good use here. :-)
So go ahead- ask away!
PS- I do not judge people or speak to them in a condescending way. However, I will be honest and tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear.
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Age: 34
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DangerNerd
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15/f Ok, I never really hung out on the weekends with friends but now its getting worse. (This is long but please read. Thanks)
Ok, in 8th grade all this drama occured and I lost many friends. I actually read an online blog of someone who was "reporting" the drama and this girl left a comment saying "Oh, yea shes sooo annoying. Just tell the ___ to go away and never come around again" and this girl who acted like my bff was like "yea i know. i hate her. shes always following me around" &later in the yr this old friend of mine said "well you could always hit her when your mad" to the girl who started it and then smiled at me as she left.
then last yr it was a new school and the people i was hanging out with went to a different school and the people i have known forever dont talk to me. so i had to hang out with these girls who i honestly dont like and im pretty sure dont like me since the "leader" always is putting me down any chance she gets. she says im a "big dork, im short and its not because im short,& that i dont have any fun".
Also, i wore this shirt from hco and this girl was all like "ew why are you wearing that? losers dont wear that brand"
I feel so sad and sometimes I cry myself to sleep. I dont get why I dont have any friends. (Neither does my mom) Plus now I hate talking to people outside of class because once I heard these girls talking about this girl who hangs out with them during school and they were saying how no one likes her and how shes soo clingy and annoying. I felt that echo in my head when I went to a school function and I was suppose to be meeting up with a group and I only saw this girl who was part of it BUT she invited people from another school (her friends) and no one else was there. I felt soo...bad. I told my mom it was fine but it really wasnt. yes I had a good time but still.
So anyways, any tips on making friends or being more outgoing/confident. Please dont say "join clubs" because people join them with their friends and sometimes the other people dont like you.
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Things are tough at your age. Kids can be very cruel. Teenagers often think they know everything, but are still kids who have no clue yet about what is really important in the 'real world'. And their whole world often focuses on what is 'cool' and what isn't. Everyone tries to do, wear, say, the 'cool' stuff and is afraid to just be themselves and do anything on their own for fear of being made fun of. This also leads them to join in with a ring leader who suddenly declares someone or something 'uncool'.
Sometimes people say or do cruel things not because they mean it or believe it but simply because THEY are so afraid that if they don't they will be labeled uncool themselves. So as to your friends saying mean things, there is a good chance that they are only saying this crap because they have no backbone to stand up and go against the grain.
I can assure you that everyone else is having a lot of the same feelings that you are. Everyone has their 'war stories' from this time in their lives.
I know that it is very painful sometimes and you just don't know what to do. The only comfort I can give you right now is to tell you that in the long run NONE of this stuff will matter. All of these things that seem so important now, you will all laugh at when you get older and realize how childish and silly this junk was.
The only things you can do in a situation like this are:
1. Take it for what it is- a bunch of stupid, and sometimes cruel kids who think they know about the world but are really clueless.
2. Have a backbone- don't be like the other kids who are terrified to stand up and be who they are. Be better than them. Have the courage to be yourself.
3. Believe in yourself no matter what anyone says. Find some like-minded people who are more mature, like yourself and forget the others.
4. Realize that every adult has stories like this of horrible things that happened in high school. They made it through and so will you. Hang in there.
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