About mslegthinks
I've seen a lot in my day, and am the girl that all my friends come to for good, objective advice. I'll tell it to you straight, but try not to hurt your feelings. I'm married to the love of my life, but it took us a while to get where we are. I have a successful career, but am still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I have rheumatoid arthritis, but have learned to not let it rule my life. I am a people watcher, and I believe in learning something from everyone I meet. I promise, I won't steer you wrong if I can help it. :)
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Gender: Female
Location: Chesterfield, VA
Occupation: Project Manager
Age: 29
Member Since: July 17, 2007
Answers: 25
Last Update: July 19, 2007
Visitors: 4227
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ive started hooking up with this guy ive met. hes really nice and i met him last summer, we kept in touch randomly during the year but havent hungout till two days ago i went to his apartment and we hookedup. i ended up sleeping there and went back last night and slept over again. i think im starting to like him, and trust me i usually never really like guys, especially guys i just hookup with. i want to know what he wants out of this, because if he just wants to hookup i dont think i can talk to him anymore, because now i kind of want a relationship or something. this isnt me, im never like this and i am certainly not the girl to have feelings. i dont want him to think im some clingy 17 year old, so i dont know how to ask. i always joke around and say stuff like "oh if you dont want to talk anymore w.e haha" and hes like obviously i want to, trust me if i didnt want to i wouldnt answer your calls or IM you.
what should i do to cleverly ask?/ tell him i have feelings
Chances are, he is only concerned right now with you sleeping over/hooking up, and hasn't even thought about the potential of a relationship with you. At 22, all he cares about is getting some, especially if you hooked up that quickly. That's probably not what you want to hear, but it's true.
You have a couple of options. First, I would say now is not the time to mention your feelings for him. Try to find reasons for you to hang out that do not involve hooking up (until the end of the date, at least. :) ). He won't even begin to see you as girlfriend material until he has had a chance to spend time with you that is not just hooking up. Right now in his mind, when he thinks of you, he thinks of hooking up, and I would venture to say if you said something about feelings to him, he would be totally confused. If you can go out and do things together, you'll wire his brain to see you in other ways besides sexual, and in time he may realize that he could/does have feelings for you too.
You could also just continue to do what you've been doing--hooking up--for a while, and see if he ever wants anything more from you (as in, an actual date). If the only time you ever see him is to get it on, then, sorry, that's all he wants from you.
In the meantime, try not to get too attached, and try to have fun. And be safe!!
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Thanks alot, that really did help and thats what i have been thinking. Do you think i should ask him to go to a redsox game with me either this week or next? do you think he would kind of get the "hint"?
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