about

Hi everyone! My pen name is Hannah and I am a 17-year-old girl. I like languages, friends, cats, and many other things. I really love giving advice, and I am studying psychology now. My favorite questions have to do with mental health. As I said above, I am taking psychology classes now, but I also do a lot of outside research, so chances are that if you say something to me about a disorder or anything like that, I will know what you are talking about. Although I am not a licensed psychologist, I hope to someday be one and I would love to get some practice here.

Also, if you ever have a problem and you like my advice and would like to talk with me, I have many messenger services so I would be more than happy to set up a time to talk with you about whatever you need.

I hope to here from you soon!

advice

Okay , me and my boyfriend love eachother sooo much and we're totally commited.Problem is , my parents are spliting up and I have to move to Newfoundland [I live in Ontario now] and we're going to try to stay together.I will be coming to Ontario 1-3 times a year and I'll see him everytime.Okay so also , I'm 13 and he's gonna be 15 in January.He's not a virgin [he did it 1 time that's it] and I am a virgin but I am thinking about doing something like that...please if you're going to lecture me give me an answer to.I want to give him something soo sentimental , but I don't have anymoney.AND if I am going to give him my viginity then it will be cuz I was thinking about it anyways , not just cuz I'm leaving !! THANKSS IN ADVANCE !!!!!!

13/female

Hey, this is a common problem, but it is also very difficult when two people are committed to each other. I hope everything goes well, and here is my advice:

I think that it is great that you and your boyfriend are trying to stay together. Why ruin something that works without giving it a chance? Sometimes, adversity can cause relationships to become stronger. However, while keeping this in mind, you must remember that long-distance relationships are often hard. I think it is great that you will be able to see each other a few times a year, but even though it may be hard to believe, you must accept the possibility that it might not work out. I'm not saying to give up, but you must be prepared for that possibility so you will be able to handle it if it happens.

I know this sounds cliché, but it is true: you must not give up your virginity for him. You have so much to look forward to in life. He may be a great guy, but this relationship might not last and if you give up your virginity for him, you may feel guilty when the right guy does come along. If he really is the right guy, then you will have plenty of time in the future for all of this. Plus, the possibility of pregnancy and STDs. Even if you take birth control, you could still get an STD. Since he is not a virgin, it is possible. STDs such as Chlamydia do not show any symptoms but can produce comsequences that can't be reversed. For example, it can cause you to not be able to have children. If your boyfriend used a condom, it could break. What would you do if you got pregnant? Since you are moving away, it would be hard for the baby to see its father. Are you and your boyfriend both financially and emotionally ready to handle such a large resposibility? Are you ready to make the choice between abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby? You are at a time in your life where you still need care from your parents. Even though you have some independence, if you didn't have an adult guardian, it would be very difficult for you to live comfortably. It is almost impossible for a teenager to find a job to support a baby, let alone herself.

There are plenty of sentimental gifts you could get him. Since you believe that you are in love and totally committed to each other, you must have been together for a long time and spent a lot of time together. Maybe you have special memories or inside jokes. Could you get him a gift like that? Maybe a scrapbook of you two together? Adding in a gift like his favorite candy will be great. You could give these gifts on a date that celebrates all the time you have had with each other and all the hope you have for the future. I'm sure you can come up with something that is special.

A final note: if you were really ready to give up your virginity to your boyfriend, you would not be asking this question. You would know that it is the right decision for you. I think that you may be asking it so that someone can tell you what you already know: that it isn't the right decision at this time. Trust your instinct! You are smart and I am sure that you know the decision you have to make. :)

Good luck with everything. I give you my best wishes for you and your boyfriend, no matter what path your relationship takes. I also hope that you enjoy your new home and that the move is easy for you.

Best wishes,
Hannah

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(Rating: 5) Not what I wanted to hear but still great advice thnxx a lot , this really helps.

-Stephi
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