about

I'm 18 and about to enter my sophomore year of college. Feel free to ask me questions about anything- I'll try to help in the best way possible! :)

advice

16/f

This is a long, somewhat confusing question. I realize that it is a lot of work to figure this out so any serious answers will definately be rated appropriately. I really appreciate any advice.

For the last couple of months, I have had several 'downs' and few 'ups' with this situation. I am being harassed by girls from my school, some are "ex-friends" and others are just people who don't know me. I am wondering what is the most beneficial next step to take.

Involved People (females aged 15 to 17+):

Myself - Usually in a good mood, polite, kind to others, strongly opinionated, willing to stand up for causes which I believe in. Straight A's (with very few exceptions) and a dedicated student. Last summer I went to many parties. Strong willed, self confident and "always dressed up" describes me.

Tracey - One of my best friends, ex-best friends with Annie, used to be good friends with Danielle and Kaya.

Danielle - Last summer we were best friends, she is a "party animal," low grades, jealous of her best friend, Kaya.

Kaya - Danielle's new best friend, many insecurities, low grades, treats people badly to make herself feel better (laughing at overweight people), acts like she is amazing.

Annie - Used to be best friends with Tracey. Follows Danielle and Kaya with whatever they do.

Here is a basic timeline of the sitation for reference, I have all of the recent activity documented carefully on my computer:


November - Danielle and I got in an argument. I was talking to people at our lunch table about how I was worried about her. I also said she is friends with people then just ditches them and that I was thinking I should talk to her about it. It got back to her before I talked to her about it, she got mad and I apologized. She said tons of mean stuff to me so I ended up not talking to her for weeks. I was excluded from everything and always ended up at home doing nothing.

December - Things were great, Annie always told Tracey how much she disliked me (behind my back) but we started to become friends. At the end of the month I was excluded from "secret santa" because of my dispute with Danielle, and everyone (lunch table people) said they didn't want ME making conflict.

January - Conflicts were slightly resolved but Tracey and I noticed we were being excluded from all events and birthday parties. We started to become closer and hang out a lot.

February - Some "tough/druggie" girls attacked me, saying I "dress like a / am a tramp" and I was hit in the back of the head. I walked away from them but everyone was talking about how I "ran away crying." I still do not see why they did this and it is completely unfair. I do not dress out of the ordinary, usually - when I wear a skirt I have long legs so it looks short, but who cares anyways. I always avoid walking that way now.

March - Annie began to get mad because Tracey and I were so close. She started talking behind my back again and to Danielle and Kaya (Annie did not like Kaya at the time). Danielle, Kaya and Annie began to grow closer due to their hate of me. The 3 of them would always make plans infront of Tracey and I and purposely not invite us.

April - Danielle wrote a blog about people she hated, and I said "Honestly, do you consider me one of those people?" In reply, she went crazy and said a ton of mean things about me. She said I shouldn't bother replying because she did not want to start a "bitch fight." I was outraged, and told her to say it to my face. At school she couldn't look at me and was afraid.

April Cont - Kaya stood up for Danielle and said I was "attacking" her. I was just not letting Danielle walk all over me, I no longer wished to be friends with her and immediately stopped talking to them. I told Kaya that it was not her business. One day at lunch, Kaya and I got in a big arguement and she ended up leaving the table.

April Cont - Kaya, Danielle and Annie went to the "tough/druggie" group of girls and told them what was happening. I started to be harassed by these new girls (I will call them the hawks) and they threatened to beat me up. I backed off, feeling overwhelmed. I completely stopped talking to all of those people.

April Cont - At the same time, Tracey told Annie that she felt excluded, so Annie went against her. It was now Danielle/Kaya/Annie against Tracey and I.

May - Danielle tried to start a fight with Tracey over the computer over nothing. Pointless things continued to happen even though we weren't speaking to Danielle. I started talking to Annie and Kaya again (I regret this now) and we were fine together. I tried to be nice and work things out since the whole fight was over very little. I tried to resolve things with the "hawks" but I was still constantly stared at by them at school.

June - Tracey, myself and two of our other friends made a funny video and posted it on facebook. It wasn't about anyone it was just a pointless music video dancing around in big coats. Danielle, Kaya and Annie "copied" our video but tried to "copy our make-up, clothes and moves." They exaggerated everything and acted like completely sluts (I can honestly say that) then told everyone to "say whose is better." It was obnoxious.

June Cont - They began to harass me on MSN but I said "haha yeah you're great at being us. bye!" and blocked them. Kaya was me, Annie was Tracey and Danielle was my other best friend from the video. One day walking along the street after our friend's birthday lunch, Danielle and Kaya rode by on a bike and yelled "ugly ass sluts!" to us. We ignored them. Later on, Annie and Danielle apologized to Tracey and included me in the apology (it was never sent to me) and Tracey "accepted" their apology.

June Cont - Annie and Danielle left for a month long student exchange trip in Europe. Kaya found a new "best friend" (Ellen), whom I used to be friends with last summer but we rarely saw eachother. Kaya and Ellen posted pictures in short skirts and tanktops saying "oh ya.. this is how (my name) stands and dresses" and posted them on facebook. Kaya, Ellen, Danielle and Annie have all been put on "limited profile" for my facebook and cannot see anything except my name and a nearly blank page.

Ellen lives on my street, like a two minute walk away. She has been in many fights and now I am feeling threatened because in my honesty box on facebook, Kaya threatened that if I went to any bonfires or parties this summer that she would fight me or get other people to. Annie and Danielle are gone for three more weeks, but Ellen and Kaya are so close. In addition, they have all of the "hawks" on their side.

I have just been staying home/inside to avoid conflict and I am sick of this harassment. Please help. =(

That's rediculous! Danielle is completely immature for starting all of this, just because her friend said that she was worried about her. She's being immature by getting her little gang of friends that have no self esteem so they bring down other people, and getting the 'tough druggie girls' to go against you. That's something I think girl would do in, hm, 3rd grade? She knows that she's hurting you and causing you pain, so that's all of those girls keep bringing you down and trying to scare you. They know that you'll stay home, so they keep threatening you. I think that you should seriously NEVER talk to those girls again, even if they apologize. They've all turned their backs on your before, and they can easily do it again. They're immature and heartless enough to do it. I think that you should have a fun summer. Go out with Tracey and your other best friends, and have a good time. Those bitchy girls shouldn't stop you from having the time of your life. They know that you're threatened, and that's how they're getting amusement out of it. Show them that they're not threatening you, and have fun. Then they might start to back off, because you're not afraid anymore. Sure those druggie girls are on your side and you're trying to avoid conflict, so whenever you see them, just look straight past them, don't even GLANCE at them, make no eye contact, and just ignore them. They're acting like the girls from the movie Mean Girls, by mocking your friends. See, you don't even do anything, and they'll do ANYTHING to make you feel bad. They're all just insecure about their lives, and they probably are even jealous that you're smart and you know yourself/are true to yourself. Just go against whatever they say, and ignore them. Don't even make eye contact or any form of contact with them. They should get over it eventually, unless they really are that immature. If they try anything new, just look them straight in the eye and say 'Okay, I get it. You don't like me. Why don't you just drop it? I don't do shit to you, so how about you grow up, act your age, and get the hell over yourself. You try to scare me, but it's not working. If we both hate eachother, why keep the war going? Let's just not talk, or even acknowledge eachother. It'll save a lot of stress for both of us. Get over it, this has been going on for over a year, and it's just old."

If you really feel like it's a threat to even go out, then try talking to your parents. If it's to the point where you're afraid to be beat up or even killed by these girls (sometimes it really can lead to that), talk to your parents and say how afraid you are. If it will make your life happier, maybe they can even considering moving you to a new school, or moving.


Good Luck. =[

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(Rating: 5) wow, thank you!
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