Member Since:
February 18, 2007Answers:
157Last Update:
March 2, 2010Visitors:
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advice
Yes i have been married once before but it was when i was 17 and i wasnt ready. Now i feel that i have reached a point where i am ready to really settle down. But, the man i am supposed to marry just recently started to be abusive after a year of not being abusive. I have tried everything to try and get him help but he says that i am the one with the problem because i nag him. Honestly i know he sounds bad but he is soo sweet and will do anything for me about 90% of the time. It is that 10% that he tweeks out for no reason or stupid little things. Lately i havent been too involved with the wedding because of all of this and i even tend to start thinking i dont want to marry him if he is going to abuse me. I wonder if i am getting cold feet because i really dont want another divorce.
Let me guess... You say or do something that rubs him the wrong way and he lashes out at you. Maybe at first the abuse was only verbal... But later escalated to physical abuse. Perhaps he is possessive? Suspicious? He blames you for the problems in the relationship and calls you all sorts of nasty names?
But you forgive him because... Afterwards he apologizes and promises that he's going to change. Maybe he even cries. And then he's super sweet, maybe even quite the romantic.
Your fiance obviously has some serious mental issues if he's abusing you. This is not your fault. He had control issues and problems controlling his anger long before he ever met you... His behavior fits the typical pattern of an abusive boyfriend/fiance/husband. I'm sorry to inform you that it won't get better... It will get worse.
Do yourself a favor and call off the wedding. There is NO reason to marry a man that abuses you. Period. It doesn't matter if your family understands or not (though they ought to if they love you).
Please kick this guy to the curb. Please?
(Rating: 5) its hard but im trying.. thank you :)