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Ok so I went out with this guy named Tyler for 5 months and then i broke up 4 times with Tyler to go out with some jerk. Now he is going out with my ex-best friend and she insists that i said i didn't like him any more. She left me a voicemail that was rubbing her going out with Tyler in my face. I am in love with him and I can't think about anything else. What should i do to get them to break up without Tyler noticing? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks in advance. (link)
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I'm afraid that the advice I have for you isn't going to be what you want to hear, but please try to see the value of it.
The fact is, you broke up with Tyler "4 times" in order to date someone else. I'm not sure whether you mean you broke up with him to date four different other jerks, or the same jerk each time - but whatever the case, you've started and ended a relationship with Tyler on four separate occasions.
Now, your ex-best-friend (XBF) is using him as a pawn in the rivalry you've got going on with her, and so in retaliation you want to try to break THEM up.
Hasn't the poor guy suffered enough? Why would you want to treat someone you love like this? He doesn't deserve to be traded around like a commodity. (Incidentally, I can't help but wonder if these new, stronger feelings you have for him are partly BECAUSE he is now dating your XBF.)
The best thing you can do is to leave the situation alone. I know, easier said than done, but it's the truth. Don't try to steal him back and don't try to break up any of his new relationships. If you really want him back, he's going to have to want you back, and if you go around sabotaging his relationships that will NEVER happen.
Has it occurred to you that this might be exactly what your XBF wants you to do? She's probably told Tyler, "Watch out, because she's going to try to break us up just because she's such a vindictive bitch. You wait and see." Anything you do will be playing right into her hands, and it will also be impossible for you to do ANYTHING without his finding out about it - because your XBF has already told him what you'll do. If you can keep your cool, eventually he'll see that she's lying about you.
You may never get Tyler back, and that's got nothing to do with your XBF; it's because you've already dated and broken up with him four times and he's had enough. You'll probably never get a fifth chance no matter what you do, but you'll DEFINITELY never get another chance if you try to ruin his current relationship.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for your brutal honesty. It is what i needed to hear and insight on what she is trying to do. Thank you.
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