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February 18, 2007Answers:
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March 2, 2010Visitors:
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advice
I'm completely fed up- I made it clear to this one guy that I'd been dating that I was really busy and was going to move out soon, etc., etc. I did not ever tell him that I wanted to stop dating, but it should be clear due to these signs:
-He called 3x in one day, I didn't return his calls.
-He calls and leaves a message sometimes, asking me to go hang out with him somewhere..and again, I DON'T call back.
Today, he left a message saying something like this:
..it's a nice day, let's go to the beach after class. I'm a little worried, you haven't called me in a week.
Yes, I haven't called him in a week. When I did, it was only to say i was too busy. POINT BLANK>
HE does NOT get the point! He seems to be so desperate that he'll continuously call me, even when I never call him back. It's been this way for a while now, and I'm really getting fed up.
What to do??
First, I would like to point out that you're communicating in the "language of hints." Bad idea. Why? Hints can me misinterpreted, go unnoticed, ignored, and sometimes... Completely denied. It sounds like this guy is in denial.
The only way to obliterate the denial is to be direct. I'm not telling you to be mean, I'm telling you to be honest. And honestly, I don't think "too busy" is an excuse. I think that you're "just not into him," and you need to say so. (But maybe not in those words.)
Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you will hurt his feelings. But everyone experiences rejection. Everyone experiences it and gets over it and later moves on. He'll get over it, and he'll move on.
(Rating: 5) Thanks so much- I will keep that in mind. You know, he did get the hint and FINALLY stopped calling. But I will most definately keep this advice in mind- it isn't a good idea to just hope the guy takes a hint- some guys are just too desperate for their own good (and for mine)