about


advice

hey, i'm 14/f and in 9th grade. =] and this is my story.

i always seem to make really good friends then somehow distance from them, then I cant talk to them anymore and now everything is so awkward. this has happened 3 times but there's only 2 girls i want to be friends with again.

i used to be best friends with a girl (I'll call her "Ellie") in 2nd grade to 5th grade. Then, we kind of drifted..and now I really want to be friends with Ellie again, but I have NO idea how to go about it. We havent talked in like 4 years or the entire school year, but now we share a class and I know she notices me because we've made eye contact but neither of us says hi..which is kind of awkward

Don't worry. :D Your situation is actually a very common situation... Especially during the teenage years. During your teenage years, you're finding out who you are, changing rapidly... And friendships have a tendency to drift apart. Doesn't mean that you can't be friends again.

Why would you look like a loser if you walked up to them and said, "Hi!?" Because really... You're fear of doing this very thing is what is holding you back, and possibly holding them back as well. They've probably recognized you, but haven't said anything to you because they are just as afraid as you are. If you're both afraid to speak to each other, this is probably where most of the awkwardness stems from.

I suggest... Say hi and just be honest. You could walk up to one of them after class and just say, "Hey... I know we haven't talked in a while... I just wanted to ask how you are and maybe catch up." Give them your phone number... That way they can call you. Invite them to hang out.

You're probably afraid that if you talked to them or invited them to hang out, they might reject you. While there is a chance that they will, and would hurt if they did... Don't let that frighten you. Everyone rejects someone at one point in their lives, and everyone gets rejected at some point in their lives. If they reject you... It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. Move on... You'll make new friends... Maybe you shouldn't be friends with them anyway.

(BTW... Proof that saying "hi" works... I made friends with my cousin's best friend back when we were about 11. We were never very close, and when my cousin and my friend had a "falling out" I didn't see or hear from my friend at all for 2-3 years. Then one day, I was shopping at Wal-Mart and I saw him at the photo-booth. I just walked up to him and said hello... And we started talking and hanging out... Now we are very close and have lived together for the past 2 years. See. It works. ;D)

[view]


(Rating: 5) Helpful

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker