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I’m sure you would agree with me in me saying drugs are bad, but I’ve made some pretty bad mistakes and I think I may be addicted. For a few months, I’ll say about 7; I’ve been using prescription drugs like hydrocodone and oxycodone. Sometimes I eat them, sometimes I snort them. A friend of mine warned me about addiction, and I’m a little worried that I could be. I’m pretty much an everyday user, and even in school, friends and even teachers tell me I should cool it. I take more and more each time, and when I didn’t have my “fix” I felt horribly sick…I didn’t even wanna go to school. [Usually, I’m pretty good about school, since I got caught skipping it.] I’ve noticed odd symptoms like nausea, headaches, nosebleeds, dizziness, blurred vision, irritability, irrational thoughts, stomach pain…and a lot more. I just don’t want to tell my mom about it, because I told her I’ve been sober since summer. And my brother knows about it, because he uses too, but since I’m younger than him, I’m afraid he’d nark on me or something. My mom doesn’t care when he comes home high, only because he’s an adult. I’m 16 and a girl, so she doesn’t like me doing it, also because of my little sister. I’ve tried to stop, and I did for a long time, but I always get back into it. A friend of mine also told me I was going through withdrawal [when I mentioned sickness]…could I possibly be addicted to opiates? (link)
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Yes, it is entirely possible that you are addicted - I'd say it's a virtual certainty. Everything that you describe is classically symptomatic of drug dependency, and the drugs themselves are indeed ones for which addiction is a risk.
This is a problem that will get worse if you leave it alone.
One problem I see is that you seem to have very little in the way of a real support network. Your mother seems to be of the opinion that it's all right to abuse drugs if one is over 18. This is not a healthy attitude, to say the least. I'm also dismayed to hear that your teachers seem to know that this is going on and have apparently done nothing about it. You should count yourself fortunate that you're smart enough to realize what road you're going down and that it is something to be genuinely frightened of, because the adults in your life sure don't seem to be that smart.
You CAN kick this habit alone, but it will be extraordinarily difficult, especially since the pills will continue to be available to you through your brother's stash - it's not like you can just flush them and not have the temptation around. In order to increase your chances of success, you will need to have some dependable people around you who can help you through the difficult withdrawal symptoms and keep you from relapsing. Find friends you can count on and beg them to help you if that's what it takes. If there is an organization you can look into for drug addicts looking to get sober, do so.
You should also see a doctor. The pills may have done some long-term damage that you will need to know about, and a doctor may also be able to give you some help for getting through the withdrawal. When you see the doctor, tell him EVERYTHING - exactly what you've been taking, how you've been taking it, and in what amounts. He needs to know the whole truth in order to give you the proper advice.
A couple of other things to consider:
(1) I think you'd be doing society a favor if you turn your suppliers in to the police, but get yourself on the path to recovery first.
(2) Don't hide from your little sister what you're going through. She, like you, is being raised in a household where the abuse of drugs is permitted. She, like you, is at risk of becoming an addict. She needs to see the dark side of it or she will likely start popping pills herself.
(3) Your Mom needs a serious wake-up call if she thinks that this kind of thing is permissible at any age. Maybe she can't control what your older brother does, but she is being incredibly irresponsible by not caring about it. Hopefully, you'll someday be in a position to open her eyes and show her the damage she's doing to her kids by being so permissive.
Your life is at stake. I hope you can save it.
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Rating: 5
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i worded that wrong. she does care...but she can't really do anything about it because he's stubborn...but with me it's different cuz i'm still a kid. and yeahh. thankss
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