Member Since:
February 18, 2007Answers:
157Last Update:
March 2, 2010Visitors:
13317about
advice
do you think it's reasonable for a seventeen-year-old girl to be forbidden to get rides from her friends? i mean, my mom and dad don't let me drive around with my friends. it's not like they're fucking drug dealers or anything, they just don't like it. i try to be empathetic and see things from their point of view, but i don't. i don't argue with them unless i really disagree, and i just don't think it's fair. please tell me if i'm being totally uncooperative in feeling this way. and what can i do to get them to ease up a little? i hate not being able to go anywhere unless they pick me up and drop me off.
Hmm...
I might understand why your parents feel the way they do...
First of all... Accidents are frequent among teen drivers. Not just among the teens that drive intoxicated, or drive like they think they are in the movie, "The Fast and Furious." But also among the relatively safe teen drivers. What it boils down to is a lack of driving experience.
For example... When I was a teenager I was very cautious when I was in my car. I didn't talk on my cellphone, I didn't speed, and I rarely carried passengers because I was afraid that they might distract me. Did I ever get into a car accident? Yep. While pulling out of the parking lot of a grocery store near my house, a truck barrelled down a right turn only lane and ripped the headlights and hood off of my car. I saw the truck coming. But because of my lack of experience, all I could do was watch in horror as the truck came speeding towards me. Luckily, no one was hurt. But if I had pulled out another three feet he would have smashed into my driver's side door. I could have been hurt very badly, I might have even died.
So... I don't think that you're parents are afraid that your friends are drug dealers, or suspect that they drive while intoxicated. They probably fear for your safety just because your friends are young and lack experience. They just want to protect you. I think that's fairly reasonable.
And I would like to say that while I understand how your parents feel, I understand how you feel as well. You are reaching an age where you consider yourself independent. You want to be able to go where you want when you want, and you get frustrated when your parents limit your freedom. Perfectly understandable.
And I commend your maturity. You're all ready trying to understand how they feel, and doing your best to avoid any unnecessary arguements.
My advice... Just try to understand. You're their daughter, they love you and they want to protect you from harm. You might feel frustrated and sheltered now... But soon enough you'll be an adult and able to go wherever you want to go whenever you want, with whomever you want. Try to be patient.
It might help to talk to your parents. Talk to them in a calm, rational manner. Trust me, they'll be impressed by your maturity. Explain to them that you understand how they feel, but that you would like them to trust you a little more. See if the three of you can reach a compromise. You and your parents may or may not reach a compromise that allows you more freedom. Either way, stay cool. If nothing else, your parents will walk away feeling that you are mature and sensible, and respecting you and trusting you more.
-------------------------------------------------
In response to your feedback... I think your idea about letting your parents meet your friends and talk to them is fabulous. Best of luck. ;)
(Rating: 5) thank you very much for the well-thought out response. i totally understand that point of view, you know? i would want my kid to be safe as well. it just frustrates me that they aren't trying to see my point of view. it's pretty much, I'M OLDER SO LISTEN TO ME. i am going to try to discuss it with them, though, and i'm going to offer to let them meet the kids and talk to them and whatever they feel that they need to do. thank you again. :)