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February 18, 2007Answers:
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March 2, 2010Visitors:
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I don't understand why girls don't like the "sweet" or "nice" guys anymore..All my friends that are girls, like the "Bad boys" or the "Jocks". I like one of my friends, but she likes one of the "bad boy" guys...How can I get her to realize that I could probably be a better boyfriend than him...(14/M)
Good news. You have nothing to worry about.
First... Not all girls are attracted to "bad boys" and "jocks." You may think I'm lying, but I'm telling you the truth. Trust me. My boyfriend is a self-proclaimed dork and nearly chokes every time I tell him how attractive I think he is. :)
Second... Let's talk about the girls that are attracted to the "bad boys" and "jocks." I'm not a psychologist, but I do have a few theories... Because I am a female after all, and I have a few years of experience.
I think a lot of girls are probably attracted to "bad boys" during their teenage years. But I think that the attraction is... Well, they are attracted to the image that the bad boy projects, not the actual person. The bad boy projects an image of arrogance... often mistaken for confidence... and rebelliousness... often mistaken for independence, individuality, and strength. But the bad boy image is just that. An image. An attitude of arrogance is often adopted to mask insecurity. Rebelliousness to cover anger and deeper emotional issues.
Basicly... Most of the bad boys that I have known turned out to be some of the most insecure, self-loathing people I have ever met. Most of them had awful childhoods, and unresolved issues that affected their ability to form meaningful relationships in a very negative way.
So... Let's say she dates this bad boy. They won't be together for long, as so many people have all ready pointed out. He'll either do something to sabatouge the relationship, whether he intends to or not, or she'll just get sick of his ill treatment and leave him behind.
And... Hopefully, she'll grow out of this phase. (A lot do because they come to realize arrogance and confidence aren't so hot after all as they mature.) Though... I should warn you that some don't. Those that don't usually suffer from their own issues, and you wouldn't want to date them anyway. If she isn't emotionally healthy, she's not capable of having a healthy relationship. And really, you don't want anything else. You don't want to settle for anything less than you deserve either, and trust me... That's a whole lot less than you deserve.
Now that I've just written a thesis on relationships... Here's my advice. Stay sweet, stay nice... Don't ever try to be someone you're not, because you're great the way you are. If the girl you like can't realize that (hopefully she will) she's not worth having. Don't try to do anything to change her mind... Just be yourself. Because you deserve someone that likes you the way you are.
And be patient. Maybe the ladies aren't falling all over you now... But trust me, your day will come. Once the girls grow into women, they'll figure out that you're fabulous... And then they'll be lined up outside your door. Don't scoff. No matter how unlikely it may sound to you, I can imagine it now... One day your incredibly lucky girlfriend will tell you how amazing you are, and you'll nearly choke. You'll tell her that she's crazy because you're a dork. And then she'll insist that she wouldn't want you to be anything else. ;)
(Rating: 5) Woooowwww...Long answer..But I like it..Thanks!