Member Since:
February 18, 2007Answers:
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March 2, 2010Visitors:
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advice
Well im only 14 as you can tell.
I want a baby because they are soo adoriable.
I have a boyfriend we have had protected sex a few times already.
And would do it again.
We have been together for 2 years.
I love him and he loves me.
He is 3 years older.
My parents know and have known his family our whole lives, blah blah blah blah blahh.
So i keep telling him how much i want one but like he says i know you do but i am not ready to be a father and think about how much it would hurt and we dont have enough money.
So i need someone to try and convince me not to want one.
Because you have no idea how badly i want one.
Please help :\
Why do you want to have children? Because they're cute? Is that your only reason?
If it is... I'm sorry if I sound harsh... But that's a poor reason. Yeah... They may look cute, but let me ask you... How cute is a baby going to look when it's wailing at three o'clock in the morning? And you're tired, you just want to sleep... But you can't because your kid is YOUR responsibility... And you have to wake up and go to school in three hours.
Because that is exactly how it would go. There are many reasons why you shouldn't have children right now. The first reason is, you are not emotionally prepared to raise another individual. You aren't mature enough. I'm not talking down to you, I don't consider myself mature enough either, it's just a fact. Need proof... You aren't mature enough because you haven't really thought about this at all.
Besides the fact that you can not provide the emotional support necessary to bring up a child... You are financially incapable of doing so at the age of fourteen. You don't have a job. Unless you go out and get a labour license, no one is legally even able to hire you. And even if you did have a job, what about school? Are you intending to drop out? Because you would have to just to make ends meet. And since you don't even have a high school education, finding a job that pays well will be impossible. And it will continue to be impossible, even when you get older, because you still won't have a high school education. So... If you have a child now, you're killing your chances of having a comfortable future. You'll spend the rest of your life struggling to put food on the table.
Oh wait... Did you except your boyfriend to help you? Why? Because he loves you? I'm not saying that he doesn't love you... But what I am saying is that I've known plenty of women who had children, later fell out of love, and who are now single mothers. Being a single parent is the hardest job. You can never clock out, and you don't get paid for it. Thinking that it won't be a problem because he'll be required to give you some money for child support? Wrong again. I also know plenty of single mothers who can't even pay for daycare with their child support check.
Besides... He obviously isn't ready to have children. (Maybe because he knows that he isn't emotionally or finacially prepared to yet.) He doesn't want to. Wouldn't allowing yourself to get pregnant at this point be disrespectful and inconsiderate of his feelings? Do you love him? Do you really want to make him feel that way?
Thinking that Mom and Dad will help you out? Yeah... They probably would. But that would be unfair, wouldn't it? I mean... They're still trying to raise they're own children, now they have to raise yours too? And the financial burden? Babies are really expensive. Is it fair to give them another mouth to feed when they had no say in the decision? No. Do you love your parents?
Have you thought about what your social life would be like? Because I can tell you in one word... Non-existant. You'd be far too busy babysitting to go the mall with your friends or do anything else for that matter. You can kiss date night goodbye... He'd be at work every night trying to earn enough money to pay for diapers and food... And you'd be sitting at home trying to get your little bundle of joy to go to sleep.
Do yourself a favor. Forget babies. For now. Wait. Wait until you're ready to have children. That means... Wait until you're married, and having children is a decision that both you and your husband have made together. Wait until you've finished school and have a decent job before you attempt to feed two mouths and pay rent. It will be easier, I assure you.
And lastly... If you had a kid right now... Not only would your life be more difficult than it has to be... (Not to mention your boyfriend's, your family, etc.) But you'd be making your little girl/ boy's life more difficult too. Kid's need parents who are mature. Without that maturity, their psyche tends to get scarred during childhood. Kid's need parents that can provide. Otherwise they can't go to the hospital when they're sick, or they have to wear sandals during the winter.
Please don't make life more difficult than it all ready is. Not for you... And not for anyone else.
(Rating: 5) thank you soo much
that really made me think ALOt!
thanks for taking the time to answer my question
:)