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Q: Hi-
I am a 30 yr old professional female, looking for advice. I slept with my friend's ex-crush several months ago. I am single, as is he. She is now married (for over 2 years) to a wonderful man and pregnant with their first child. She NEVER had a relationship with this man, but had a massive crush on him through high school and college. She is very happy in her marriage. She and I are not as close friends as we once were, but live in the same area and see each other here and there. This man's name comes up in conversation and I feel dishonest by not telling her the truth about what happened between us. It was just a one-night thing and I don't want to be selfish and tell her just to make myself feel better. However, she and I were such close friends and I feel like I am omitting something huge from mention by not telling her I slept with this guy. Plus if she finds out from someone else in the future (not me) it would be even worse (though this is not a likely scenario). Please help!! Thanks.

No, you should not tell her. There's just no reason she needs to know... it was a one night thing, there's no relationship there, she's not having a relationship with this man (even if you think she wants to, she's not, there's a big difference). If you slept with him last night and were asking this question, you'd probably have more poeple say to tell her (I mean, because she's interested in how your weekend went, not because she needs to know who you're sleeping with). But now that months have gone by the fact that you haven't told her is a sign that it's not important or necessary. And besides, he might not want her to know, and in that case you REALLY shouldn't tell her because he deserves privacy about his sex life just like you do.

Rating: 4

Thanks! I saw her today and was really debating whether or not I should tell her this. I didn't tell her! Happy New Year!

bio

I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.