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"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
I'm an optimist. I can find the beauty in anything. I'm creative. I love spontaneity, peace, & parties. I'm the farthest thing from shy. There's not one person on this earth that I don't care about. I like deep conversations, change, & random acts of kindness. Every emotion I feel is ten times as strong as yours. I have alot of empathy for other people. I'm real open minded & liberal. All I want to do is make at least one person's life a little easier. :D
advice
I just got hit with a shock today. I am 61/2 months pregnant and my baby's father just told me that he wants to name our daughter after his best friend. I was upset because she is sort of the reason we broke up. I had just found out I was pregnant last summer and while we were having problems his best friend, 8 montns pregnant at the time and married was coming to visit him from out of state for the week end. I asked him if I could meet her and he accused me of being jealous and broke up with me. We had broken up a couple of weeks prior to that because we were initially going to have an abortion. We had a miscarriage back in april and he didn't want to be disappointed again. We were actually fighting about him not going with me to the procedure. We then got back together 4 days later and decided to keep the baby. Then we broke up again because of the reason mentioned earlier in this message. We fought for over a month about things with the pregnancy and everything. Then we finally worked through some things and it was decided that we would see where things go between us. Things are the same as before we broke up only he no longer tells me he loves me anymore. I will admit I was jealous when I first became pregnant but when I asked to meet his best friend I was really trying to be a good sport, figuring this was his best friend and I had hoped that extending my understanding for the situation that maybe he would see I was trying . When he broke up with me instead I was devastated. We made a deal because this is his only child, I have 4 others, that he would get to name the baby. We just found out we are having a girl yesterday and today he hit me with this. I have to admit I lost my cool. I see it as naming my daughter after someone who unknowingly had everything to do with our break up. I also feel a little hurt that his reaction for me wanting to meet this person is the reason we broke up. We fought about this back and forth today. I ended up recognizing that a deal is a deal.I agreed to name the baby according to his choice. He wouldn't even try to come up with any other girl names. He told me if I didn't agree to it then he wasn't naming the baby and he placed that responsibility in my hands. I didn't want that. I just wanted him to understand that it made me feel really hurt that he wasn't thinking about how I would feel about naming my daughter after her. Whenever we argue we often fight about how unreasonable he was for breaking up with me because I wanted to meet his friend. Even though that woman didn't mean to come between us, even though she is married with a family of her own, I still feel betrayed by this whole situation. He says I am being silly. I don't know about that. I feel like the man I love is asking me to agree to name his daughter after a woman who means more to him than I do. What should I do?He also informed me today that she will be coming to visit before I have the baby and will be around when the baby is born, he claims she is bringing her husband this time but I don't know what to feel. I think it is more apporpriate for her to come after we have the baby. This is our time. Coming to see the baby is one thing but coming before and staying until I have the baby makes me kind of angry. She has had kids before so you would think she can respect the situation. I would think my baby's father would understand that part too. If I have to name my baby after this woman I feel my birthing experience should be as I see fit. Please tell me if I am doing the right thing here or not.
You are doing the right thing here.
(Rating: 5) Thanks, you made me feel better, I thought by honoring the deal with my baby's father I was being a pushover.He is very sweet and I think most of the time I misunderstand him. (which brings out his defensive side, it aint pretty.) I really appreciate it , thanks again.