about

I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).


I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.


I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.


I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.

advice

I lost touch with my dad when i was 9 (long story) last year was the first time i got in touch with him. i also met aunts that i never knew my whole life. before we lost touch i last saw him a few weeks before i turned 8. the whole thing is i'm jamaican and my dad left jamaica when i was 2 then came back to visit when i was 4 . so i really don't know him. he left jamaica and cheated on my mother with another woman that he has 2 kids with now (10 and 11) i finally came to the US when i was 6 but i lived in new jersey and my dad lived in florida and he still does currently. after losing touch i moved to conneticut but last year on the internet i found his name and phone number. i was so excited that had always been something i yearned for over the years. now it's a year later and he still hasn't visited me. i haven't ben able to go because of the situation at home. my mother is a single parent and has another child my younger sister. she couldn't afford for me to leave when she has to work. so i have to wait till some other time to visit my family. my aunts came up to see me last summer but my dad hasn't. i just became disinterested in him over time because i thought he would have been here by now. i haven't seen him in 10 years i'm 18 now and i think it's messed up that he wants to come to my graduation but couldn't come here just to visit me. he also works at the airport in miami so that's not a problem. he stopped calling me which i don't care about because it's akward talking to him when i don't know what to say. my aunt's always have somthing to say when i try to point out the fact that he hasn't visited me yet. he has 2 other kids with him and i feel really out of place the least he could do is visit he sends money every month but it doesn't make up for everyhting else. does anyone else beside my bestfriend see's where i'm coming from?

I understand where you are coming from. It's difficult to grasp why a father would not make an effort to see his child. Of course you are becoming uninterested in seeing him now because you feel rejected, and have every right to feel that way. Since he hasn't been in your life for a very long time It's probably not even that you miss him, but you miss the father that you want him to be. For now focus on your Mom and younger sister...and whatever else is in your life at this time. If your Father comes to your graduation, then just be casual and polite. Perhaps he will want to build a relationship after that, but if not, there is not a lot you can do. Almost any man can father a child, but not all of them can be a Dad. They just don't think of the long term consequences and will probably be very lonely in their old age. Someday you may have your own children and can move on from there, and not make the same mistakes your Father has. Best of luck to you.

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(Rating: 5) thanks that made me feel better
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