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Q: I have a mom tht is a control/protect freak she always wants things her way. I have to have my room the way she wants it my computer has to face the way she wants it and she always says when im with her im on her time and the problem is tht she always wants me to do her stuff. I run to the car, get the mail, take out the garbage(sumtimes), and do everything to care of my dog and she still doesn't appreciate me. She is way over protective. She doesn't like me goin places without her or my dad even tho i end up goin it usually takes hours of fighting and begging and crying. I am tired of her controling my life especially my room. I want my room to be MY room not hers. I like my room messy cuz then it feels like i actually live in it. What should I do? I dnt know how to talk to her cuz she always blocks me off but she never blocks my brother off when he is having problems. I dont get it she always says i have to wait till my dad comes home to discuss what is happeneing When i try to talk to her she takes things away and says she is in control!!!! i hate it she always says i dnt understand anything and i never will. When my brother calls me slut, dunce,bitch, etc. and i tell her she doesn't do anyting about it she just tells him not to and when i do those sort of things she punishes me. i cnt take it anymore HELP MEE!!

One thing about control freaks is that they always feel like they need everything perfect in their eyes. What they don't understand is that perfect can mean something absolutely opposite then someone else.

You're right that you should not have to cry and beg just to be able to hang out with your friends or go somewhere. That's asinine. And the fact that you have to carry on with this behavior to get their approval confuses me. Instead of begging or crying, work with it step by step. First of all, you're going to want your voice in a steady, calm manner. You should probably try and hold back any anger if they continue to not allow you to go. Rather than fighting back be understanding and nod when they give a reason. If they don't give a reason ask them if there is a reason. State that appropriately. Last step is when they are finished voice your opinion with a really good reason as to why you should go. If they say no you can consider compromising with them. But if you can't win just say "Okay, maybe some other time". If they see you trying to act mature about it they may consider letting you go out more.

I agree with you about your room. Being artistic, I realize you need to be creative in what's yours. Maybe if you offer to pay for some decorations that you could put up your mom might let you. I think one of the biggest problems is that she may not like change. And for some, change is a fear or hard to get used to. If that's the case then it's hard to help someone get overcome that. It's not your fault, or it's nothing against you personally. It's in their head and it's part of their personality. It's like trying to get an alcholic to stop drinking. They need to want to do it first. You know what I mean? If you are able to actually talk to her without her drowning you out, you could ask her if you can start off slow by moving things around. Not the computer or the furniture. But amybe placign posters up in a different area. Or puting a chair a different way. It's all about working slowly. But once you get your one place you can do whatever you want.

Lastly, don't ever tolerate inappropiate talk from your brother like that. He should not call you a bitch, slut ect. But instead of calling him those back, act liek it doesn't phase you. Simply ignore it and he'll get bored. If he's smart he'll stop it out of boredom. He must have a lot of time on his hands to call you that. But it shouldn't bother you anyway because you know you're not those things.

But I believe your mom is so controling because she loves you. Sometimes parents have a tendency to hold on to their children to much and protect them. It's not such a bad thing sometimes, it could just be the way she expresses her love.

EDIT- Aww, thank you!!

Rating: 5

u give great advice!!!

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