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Q: A question to call my own.

So, I have problems with being the one left behind. In my social life, since I started high school and continuing to today, I have always been the friend not called. When I show up somewhere, I get hugs and backslaps and people all come and hang out with me. But in order to show up, I have to find out about it by hearsay.

Example, a friend of mine has a party with his parents every year. Huge party at his little place. Most of my old friends know about this place and get invited, but I didnt find out about it until tonight, while everyone else has been planning the trip to go for about a week. I talked to him today (he came in town for ACL, for those of you who know what that is) and he told me about the party and asked if I was going to be there. But he didnt call me to tell me he was having a party to begin with.

This has been the story of my social life for forever. Like I said, I hang out with people and I have a bunch of guys and girls I get along with very well, but if I dissapeared into my own room for a month, some wouldnt come looking for me until Id been gone a few weeks, others might not notice at all.

I just dont understand how all these people I hang out with and call my friends, who treat me like a sibling when Im around, completely forget I exist once Im out of the room. I mean, Ive made a habit now of just finding out things on my own because if I find out myself, everyone welcomes me to attend. But they just dont tell me themselves.

Opinions? Advice? Anyone faced a situation like this before? I mean, Ive gotten used to it enough, I didnt think it bothered me anymore. Guess it still does a bit. I just wish I was at least sometimes one of the people who was called and told to tell others, instead of one of the people who found out second hand.

You've got to get out there and ask people, don't just wait to get called. The world happens every weekend, not just in scattered parties either, and you've got to get involved in the regular stuff for your friends to start thinking of you as one of the crowd.

Make it a point to ask someone on a Friday what's going on. The next week, ask someone else. Eventually they'll remember you.

When I've had parties I usually try to invite everyone I can think of but that's hard. I'm afraid of rejection, that makes it hard to invite people. I forget people too. But if someone comes up and asks me what's going on, I'll tell them, and it's all good. Just act casual and interested and jump in there yourself, it's okay.

Rating: 2

You didnt read carefully enough. I have an active social life, but only because I chase it. Im trying to figure out why I dont have the social life chasing me a bit, why people dont call me to tell me whats going on, but instead I have to ask.

bio

I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

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