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Hey everyone! My name is Kristen, I'm 20 and I'm a college junior studying pharmacy. I've been blessed with a really good life, and part of the reason for that is because I've learned to see GOOD in everything that happens to me. I love giving advice, and I've been told that I do a good job at it, but I'll let you decide! Feel free to ask me anything... don't be shy, that's why I'm here. I've been through a lot... moving from one country to another, leaving and finding new friends, break ups, boys, middle school, high school, college, self esteem issues... pretty much most things that people need help with.
I usually spend a good amount of time answering your questions, so I would really appreciate it if you leave me an honest rating along with some feedback (good or bad!) It really does help me improve my advice... and in the end, that's good for YOU! Talk to ya soon! :)
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I asked a question about a month ago about my situation with an ex-boyfriend who I became pregnant for, and then lost the baby. (http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=421121)
Not long after, he called and apologized for everything, and gave me his side of the story. I finally showed him ultrasound pictures and he saw how depressed I had become, and after hearing it from soo many people he believes me. He says he would have been there for us, which I believe, and we are now friends. He's helping me deal with my loss.
But the last time we talked, he asked about getting a second chance. I don't want him to think I'm this easy to get back, but at the same time we've been through so much, and I think he's learned his lesson. I still care about him, not only because he's the father of my child, but I care about him as a person.
I told him if I did give him a second chance, it would be a long time from now because I'm not ready right now after what I went through. Do you think he deserves a second chance? I need an outsider's opinion on this. Thanks!
hey! im sorry about everything... that's terrible, but at the same time that's life i guess. as far as what to do with this boy... well there is no excuse for what he did to you at all. it's completely irresponsible and heartless, but you say that he might have learned his lesson. i can't disagree with that because i have made a lot of mistakes that i've learned from and would never repeat... but i would have never learned unless i made those mistakes. hopefully, the same thing is going on with him. but if you do get back together with him, you have to make sure it's not for a while... and by a while i mean a couple of months to a year. you have to put this relationship through the test of time before you plunge back into it and risk getting hurt again. you have a lot of scars from losing him and the baby not long ago, and those have to heal completely before you can even think about getting back together with him. remain friends for the next year or so, and see if he still has the same attitude about you, and if you feel the same way about him. if you both do, then you can get back together. but you have to make sure to make him wait, because you don't want to end up hurt by him again if he is only using you to occupy his time now that his other gf is out of the picture.
so for now, i deffinitely suggest just being strictly friends... nothing physical either... and especially NOT sex, because you don't want to risk something like this happening again! just be friends, it will make things easier. and if in this year (or couple of months) that you are making him wait you find another guy that makes you happy, then i think you should go for it. don't let the fact that he is "waiting" for you stop you if you think you can be happier with someone else. just because you went through a lot in the past, it doesn't mean that he is the best choice for the future if there is someone else out there that can make you happier! basically know that there could be hope for the future, but keep your options open! he's the one that hurt you, so even if something like this hurts him, it's his fault and he should suffer through it because it would make you happy... and the only reason you need someone to make you happy is because of what he did to you to make you unhappy! so follow your heart and do what's best for YOU! good luck and don't hesitate to ask if you need more help! :)
(Rating: 5) that is so true. thank you so much!