I look like my mother in this picture...is that a good thing?! Lol.
I often feel like I have been through far too much for my age. I've battled depression (several times), emotionally abusive relationships, men walking all over me, an eating disorder and a suicide attempt and I still pulled through. And if I can then you can too.
I'm a great listener, so feel free to ask me anything, I WILL reply to you. Be warned though, my advice is very blunt and I'll say exactly what I think! But then 9 times out of 10 people need to hear the truth rather than be wrapped in cotton wool!
Gender: Female
Location: Bournemouth/ Lincoln, UK.
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: February 3, 2006
Answers: 72
Last Update: February 26, 2006
Visitors: 8586
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Love Life
Friendship
View All
Favorite Columnists
Vikki27
lucretia
|
| |
|
Okay this might be kind of confusing but bear with me please. So at the end of summer last year, I met this guy, Joe, through my best friend, Liz. Joe dated one of Liz's good friends, Grace. They dated for about 2 & 1/2 years and then at the beginning of summer, they broke up. So now its September, and Joe with his friend come by Liz's house, and I'm there with her. So I meet Joe, I knew who he was and about him & Grace and I thought he was pretty cute. He thought I was really cute too. He liked me and all. I wasn't even THINKING about me and him together, the thought of US never came to mind. I felt like I had no chance. Grace (his ex) was unbelievably gorgeous and so much different from me.Well anyways, so we started hanging out. He'd come by more often and we were both very shy. Later I found out that one of the reasons he fell for me was because I was so quiet. But anyways, so we would hang out; play tennis and just hang out with friends. I also got drunk for the very first time with him -- and that's a very goodmemory. I remember how he was so worried about me geeting home and everything that day. Ahh memories. We went downtown by the lake and shopped and everything. Then one day, we were walking, just the two of us, and we kiss. Later on the walk home, he told me about how he wanted to kiss me sooner but that didn't work out cause it was never good timing with his friends and all. So yes, then the following week we would hang out and kiss :) and talked online. He asked me do I see him as a boyfriend and all that and talked about us dating. The next time we hung out, he asked me out. It was perfect. I never met a guy like him. Never dated ANYONE like that. Too perfect for words. It was awesome, the best time of my life. Everything was going great, I couldn't have been happier. He was a bad boy, ditching school, band with his friends, typical guy stuff. But I was always able to count on him. He always chose me over his friends, and even stopped drinking. We went to different schools, and then I started working with my dad, so things got harder. He had his friends drop him off whenever just so he can see me -- it was like a dream come true. My prince charming had come. But meanwhile, Grace (the ex) found out and went crazy. She hated me and my friend/her friend for letting it even happen. She had people watching me and threating me all the time on the interenet that they're going to kick my ass for dating Joe. But I didn't care. My friendshad my back. I remember when Joe was over and I wasn't supposed to have anyone over, and he was over and my dad came home, haha... he ran out the back door and jumped the gate and everything barefoot. Lol poor him left his shoes. He had written me a song and everything, we even wrote each other notes in school. Now back to the psycho ex-gf, well me and her were sort of friends, we just knew each other because of my best friend Liz. She would always follow me & Joe, (she had a car so was EVERYWHERE) and yeah. Then one day, me and joe sort of got into an argument. Me and my friend Liz and some of his friends were all walking around the nieghborhood onour way to chill at this one park. His ex would drive by and stop and talk to Joe's friends. We were with a bunch of friends all walking when these little 12=14 year old were with us and they were talking shit to joe about me and just because bitches and giving me and my friend attitude so I wasn't gonna deal with it and me and my friend Liz turned around and left. He didn't even bother to go after me or call. I regret doing that, I know he must have gotten mad, I remember when I hung up on him, that upset him also. but anyways, so the same day I call him. And I call again. And I call again. No answer. Same thing the following day, Saturday. Then Sunday I call all day. Finallly I try one last time on SUnday night and Grace picks up. And she said he's with her now and all those times he wasn't with me, he was with her. I dropped the phone. It was crazy, my friends wanted to go right over there and beat her up. But I thought about and decided just to forget it. Lateron, I signed online and he was on -- so I instant messaged him. And I yelled at him and everything and then signed off and cried. And cried. I thought I got over him, I was into another guy -- well then he chose another girl over me, and yeah. Then he came back and I rejected him and all that because I'm not gonna deal with someone liek that. SO I really don't even know what I'm asking. Him and Grace have been together ever since. I ran into both of them the other day at a store which was really awkward, he was with his friends in the store and I was with mine. Then they left the store and his girlfriend -- Grace -- and his sister come in. Then they leave and are waiting outside in the car for us. We goto our car and trhey pull up and then she says something and flicks us off and drives off. But anways, I just can't seem to get over him. Its crazy cause this all happened quite a while ago. Maybe its just because he was my first SERIOUS boyfriend? I have no idea what to do... and I really want to believe that one day WE WILLE get back together. I just hope and pray something along the way will happen and we will be together.Like today for example, I felt like breaking down and crying. I went with my friends downtown, on the train. And they were with their bf's and it reminded me how we used to be like that. Last time I took the train was with him. We went to musuems on Columbus Day. Memories :( It was just so heartbreaking. Do you think that we will get back together? People say "THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!" and I wanna follow that, because well thats how I met him. I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. ANd now every guy I look at or my friends want me to meet/date, I just can't. And it kills me because I want to be with him and no one elsre. DO you thinkin it's possible for us to get back together? Maybe later on in life? It was my mistake because I was always so shy and not really OUT with my feelings, and I regret not telling him how I feel, he always thought I didn't like him or anything. Although we dated for only about 2 months, the memrories and the times we had together even before we began officially "dating" ... they mean soo much. I just wish I had another chance. Do you think it's possible for us to ever get back together? Do you think he ever thinks about me the way I think about him? Is there ANY chance of us getting back together in the future? (link)
|
Hi there, thanks for your question and sorry about the late reply!
Wow you poor thing, that is never nice to go through. If it helps I'll relate it to something that happened to me that was similar. I was sort of involved with this guy who had previously been involved with someone who was equally as crazy as your Grace! Anyway (as this is the shortened version lol) I found out about 3 and a half months later I found out he'd been sleeping with her for almost a month. So my advice to you is to do exactly what I did...never speak to him again and delete all evidence he was ever in your life. How DARE he treat you like this? You seem like such a nice girl and deserve far better than this. He didn't even have the courage and decency to break up with you - he had her do it for him...you do NOT want to be dating a coward. The other thing of course is that psycho exes are always very scary and I'll warrent that if you two ever were to get back together she'd constantly be on your back, and no one wants that. I know how hard it can be, and you will cry and miss him and feel rubbish...could take months, I expect the thing you'll miss the most is his friendship. But eventually it WILL get better. Once you've mourned the loss then go out, get yourself some new clothes or shoes, get a new haircut and go and show the world just what you're made of! Go out with your girlfriends and have a laugh. I really don't reccommed trying to get back with him at all, it's bound to get far too messy and I don't believe he's anywhere NEAR good enough for you! If you want anymore advice or support I'm happy to give it so just drop me a line :)
|
|