I'll give advice to anyone I think I can help in any way. Ask away.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student/ General Know-It-All
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2005
Answers: 297
Last Update: January 22, 2011
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okay, i dont understand why i feel like this, but it happens in my relationship sometimes. well like sometimes ill feel bad for something i did (or didnt do) even though i probably shouldnt.. so i apologize for it.. then after i say im sorry.. i feel bad again and feel stupid like why did i even apologize for that? and i also feel like apologizing for stuff even when i dont even know if it needs a "im sorry" that its gonna push my boyfriend away.. or cause problems for spilling my heart out or saying sorry. so then sometimes ill tell him "well im sorry for apologizing, i thought i needed to" I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IM LIKE THIS!! i hope it makes sense, it was hard to explain. and i know that if i said sorry at the time.. then it was obviously how i felt and nothing is wrong with letting your boyfriend know exactly how you feel or what is on your mind, is there? like i dont wanna push my boyfriend away by always being musy & sweet or apologizing.. but that kind of stuff won't push him away will it? i dont know, im confused. oh and no.. my boyfriend has never said anything like he doesnt like it when i say im sorry for stupid stuff or being sweet/mushy or anything.. but maybe hes just not telling me. someone just help me please! (link)
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Heh yeah I have that. It's like a tick. If someone pushes past me I apologise. Several theories:
1) could be down to insecurity and fear of losing people
2)The politeness rammed into you at a young age to the point of having a phobia of rudeness
3)it's said with the hope of getting an apology back from the guy which you feel you deserve.
Alll of these apply to me so I'd advise that as you feel a "sorry" coming on you pause for a couple of seconds and ask yourself if you were really in the wrong. It's tricky to catch yourself before you say it but you'll get used to it. It's the same as trying to train yourself out of any automatic response like when you change your phone number or any speech tick such as say "like" in the middle of sentences (I do that too. it even annoys me.)
It's pretty unlikely to be such a big problem it drives your boyfriend away but i'm sure he'd like yto see you with a litte more confidence in yourself.
Good luck x
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