i need help. okay, i've been with my boyfriend for a while now, but there's a small little problem that i'm having in our relationship. i love him to death and i know that he feels the same way, but when he talks to other girls.. i often get jealous and feel as if he's going to leave me for this girl even though i know they are just friends, i feel like maybe he sees something more in the girls he talks too. i feel this way because in the past, every guy i was with.. left me for another girl or was seeing another girl behind my back. i just got used to it & so now everytime i get into a new realtionship, i feel as if the same thing is going to happen even though i know all guys aren't the same, it's just something that sort of stuck in my mind. i expect guys to leave me.. i guess it's so i won't get hurt like i did in the past. i've talked with my boyfriend about this and he understands why i feel like this because of past experiences but he always reassures me that there is nothing going on because he doesn't want any other girl in this world besides me & that he loves me more than i could imagine. i mean, we've even talked about spending the rest of our lives together. i don't always have this problem when i'm with him.. but then there are times when i do. i hate it a lot because i really don't wanna feel this way, i TRY to tell myself "hes not gonna leave you" and it works half the time but then other time it doesnt and i get really upset. just so you know, i do BELIVE that he loves me, i don't doubt that.. it's just i really don't know how to explain it. maybe someone knows where i'm coming from. the point is, is there anyway i can convince myself that he's not going to leave me? is there anything at all i can do? or am i gonna be stuck feeling like this for the rest of my life because of what has happened to me in the past?
Ok, sweetie, I think I can help. First off, when I was 16, I WAS JUST LIKE YOU! I had a boyfriend that was always telling me that he loved me more than anything and would be with me forever. He always reassured me that he would never leave me (unless I cheated on him - which I didn't). Even though he told me this all of the time, like you, I got jealous becuse all of his friends were girls! However, he was dedicated to me and just kept reassuring me that he wanted to be with me forever! Well, last August we went to college together and he got an apartment. We were 18 and 19! We had been together for almost three years! Well, I continued to be insecure and question his devotion to me. I didn't trust him! He eventually got tired of it and he will tell you this exact quote "I would have given you everything! But, since you didn't trust me, I got tired of it and it was easy to cheat on you." YES, THATS RIGHT! He ended up cheating on me because he was tired of me questioning him. He found some other chick in California (through the internet) and now he is HOPELESSLY in love with her. He makes her more happy than I ever did because he got annoyed with there being no trust in the relationship! I was hurt beyond believe for a while, but the fact is, we were TOO YOUNG, and so are you! Men mature later than girls do and the fact is that I wasnt even that mature when I met my ex and I never should have gotten as involved as I did! So, DON'T LET THIS BE YOU! Give your guy his space and don't question his friends because if you trust him and he knows this then it will be harder for him to cheat on you or fall for someone else becuase he wont want to break your trust. But, your really young and have almost your whole life ahead of you! If this guy is your "one and only" then it will work with little to no effort! I assure you! So, just try to trust him so you don't push him away! Now, on a lighter note, I have something that may make you feel better! I am now with a WONDERFUL GUY who I trust completely. Now, I wont lie, it is hard to trust after havng your heart broke by someone you thought would never hurt you. So, I understand how you feel. But, now, I am 19 and I am more in love with him than I could ever imagine! Wanna know the catch? I MET HIM WHEN I WAS 11 or 12!!!! We did the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing back then and after my recent breakup I realized that I really cared for him and thought about him a lot and it turns out, were back together now and I am happier than ever. We were just too young when we first met and needed to mature! We plan on being together for a long time and we make eachother TOO Happy! So, I guess my point here is that you CAN meet that special someone when you are young. IT HAPPENS! So, don't be discouraged! Just know that you need to trust him and take some time to mature! Ok sweetie! Hope my story helps! Let me know if you ever need anything! *Smiles* *Hugs*.
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aw thank you so much hun! you REALLY helped :-)
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