daughterofwily's advice column

Please note that at this time, I am not accepting questoins. I am having serious doubts about the amount of time and patience that this site requires of me, as well as how I fit into its structure. Becuase of that, I will not be checking advicenators for a while, and thus WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. Here's my intact profile, however, in case I come back.

Welcome to my humble abode... or something.

My name is Brie, but you can just call me Wily (no, that's not my real last name). I'm an eighteen year old from rural Mid-Michigan (think Saginaw or Bay City, only surrounded by miles and miles of trees, corn, and sugar beets).

I'm an honor student, sort of. Not to brag, but I was Salutatorian of my high school class. I specialize in English, educational topics, and social studies, but I'm good with basic sciences and drama too.

I'm a big geek; I like to write and play RPGs, and my favorite video games ever are the Pokemon series. I'm actually a relatively well-known Pokemon master (I've moderated the forums of two bigger Pokemon fansites, and have been an on and off admin at one), and at the two sites where I became relatively popular I aquired the reputation of "The Pokemon Professor." However, that doesn't do me much good here, becuase who is going to ask about Pokemon on an advice site?

I don't have much experience with relationships but I have a natural nack for giving advice about them. I also don't know anything firsthand about things that we do not mention in polite company, but I know a lot about the science and psychology of them, so I'd be glad to answer safety-based questions--just don't ask me about technique, becuase I know nothing. I'll try to answer anything you throw at me, and many things that you don't, though, so feel free to try me.

Be warned though, I'm not afraid to tell it like it is. There are stupid questions, and if yours is one I will respectfully tell you so, and attempt to give you the information you need anyway. If you need to buck up and accept what's happening, I will say so. However, in this column I try to maintain a standard of respect, kindness, and helpfulness; you will not be flamed here. Unless you're a babyeater or something.

So, drop me a line, and I'll do what I can. Live long and prosper!

Requirements

Now, I know this is gonna kinda look stupid, what with this being an advice site at all, but I have a few simple requests for you.

Do a search to make sure no one has already asked that question, or if they have, that their case is significantly different than yours. It's very frustrating when you have to answer the same question over and over again.
Give your age and sex. I know, anonymity is a big deal, but it really helps me if I have an idea how old you are and what sex you are. This is especially relevent for questions about sex, relationships, and makeup.
Try to use proper spelling and paragraph breaks I usually scan questions before reading them, and it's helpful to me if things are spelled properly and broken up if they're kind of long. Don't worry, if I actually choose to answer the question I read it all the way though, but scanning helps me get into the right frame of mind.
Please avoid internet acronyms. These drive me insane. Quoting is acceptable (if you quote someone who said them in your questoni, that's fine). Also, some are ok. I will tolerate bf, gf, bff, lol, etc.
Don't rate badly just becuase I told you something you didn't want to hear. Now, I know, this is a bit of a shocker--me basically begging for ratings, right? But I'm not. Basically, don't come to me expecting me to affirm what you already plan on doing, and then rate me down when I say it's a bad idea. If you're already so sure that you're going to reject my advice, then JUST DON'T ASK. Save us both the trouble. For the record, I'm not asking you to rate high. If I give dangerous advice, give me a one, and if I give bad advice,i give me a two, but don't rate down good advice just because it's not what you wanted me to say. I do advice, not affirmations.

If you do not follow these guidelines, I may not answer your quesiton. I will not say that I won't, because with some questions you don't need to say some of these things, and with some of these guidelines, you can't do anything until I've answered. But please make my life easier. That's what I'm trying to do for yours.

advice

HEY! i really need some help. ok well, how do i get closer to god? i mean.....i dont feel close to him AT ALL. i belive in him and everything but.....i just dont know what all he wants from me. can you help?

Wow, you've just asked the single toughest question in the world.

Really.

I know how hard it is to be distant from God. I've had a few periods in my life, one that was only a few weeks ago, where I felt like I had no purpose or meaning in the universe; like God didn't love me. But eventually, something would always pull me out.

However, there are a few things that you can do to find Him (or Her) again.

First off, pray regularly. I don't mean canned prayers that you read out of a book or memorize, either... Talk to God, like you would talk to your mom or dad. Tell Him about your life, what you want, what you're afraid of. Ask Him questions, but don't expect immediate, or clear answers. If you want to be close to God, you have to let him get close to you.

Second, be careful if you try to pick a church. Don't let it suck up your life, or jump in head first. Listen to what they're saying. Is it logical as well as uplifting? Are they after excessive tithes?

Third, think about your life. Think about why you're here, who you are, what your purpose is. It will hurt. It's very painful to reflect on... and this is very trite, but God helps those who help themselves. I've found that if I reflect on a problem enough, God will nudge me in the right direction, and let me find the answer myself. Just be vigilant and persistent, but open-minded.

Fourth, talk to a wide variety of people you trust. Make sure you talk to your parents, unless they're unapproachable about religion... but try to get a variety of opinions. Talk to pastors and lay ministers, random people you iknow, about faith. Try to get a lot of different religions, even talk to a few atheists. They will try to convert you, but the point is to get ideas that you can agree with, disagree with, or use as springing points. Really explore faith in general, as well as specific ones.

And finally, follow your heart. God finds the strangest ways to guide us, and one of the strongest ones is our own feelings. Go with your gut instinct, and God will eventually guide you to something meaningful that you can use to create your own purpose... or guide you to what you need to pull through a hard time. I mean, He's shown me the way through my choices of VIDEO GAMES, of all things. Just listen to your heart, and you'll find the way.

One final note--don't expect instant results. Faith is an excercize in patience, and it hurts to wait for a sign... But it's worth it. Trust me, in the end it's all worth it.

I know it's rough to struggle with your faith. If you ever want to talk about religion, life, or anything, you can find my contact information on my column, and I'm sure there are countless others around here who'd be glad to help. You can even ask me another question.

But remember... God can give you nudges in the right direction, Himself or through others, but when it's time to do what you have to do, the choice is yours. You have to decide to make whatever difference you are called to, and you have to decide to accept whatever purpose you may serve. The choice is yours... but listen for His voice, and be patient, and He will tell you what he wants you to do.

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(Rating: 5) best advice ever!

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