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Hey, I am Leigh-Anne, I am 35 years old, a week ago me and my husband were working late, my 12 year old son was home alone, when I came home I went to his room and caught him having sex with a 17 year old girl who is a friend of the family. I was schocked. She was giving him oral sex and they immedietly stopped, please answer thanks ~Leigh-Anne (link)
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What is alarming about your question has been some of the answers posted in response. If the sexes were reversed (17 yr old boy with a 12 yr old girl) people would be telling you to call the authorities and press charges. Which, I feel, does no good for anyone, unless your child was an unwilling participant. I suspect that he probably is proud of the fact that he has been "doing it" with a much older girl.
My advice is clear. Your 12 year old son has lost his innocence, and has moved onto a stage where he needs his father to start treating him more like a young man. Your son cannot go back to the naive boy that he was, and he has been given the freedom up to this stage to do whatever he wanted. Chances are he has had more experiences than this one. How open is your husbands relationship with him? Do you have any older sons who can also talk with him? Your husband should asked him a bunch of specific questions about his sons sex life and teach him what he knows about sexual responsibility and sexual addiction. A one on one lecture sitting across each other at the dining room table probably isn't best. He should be active in something so that he does not feel embarassed talking to his dad about SEX. For us guys we are more open when we are distracted in doing something else, like drawing or video games or working on our cars. There are many books which can assist your husband in this "talk". Might I recommend a book called "Man to Man".
Do you think you might condone your sons new sex life, or condemn it? Read some of the other questions on this website from 12 year olds and you will see that 12 is NOT unheard of for kids these days having sex. Just be careful that he doesn't equate the amount of sex he has with what it takes to be a MAN. At school they boast about these things, and eventually "getting ahead in the world" becomes a sexual reference and not something that is a result of his dedicated school work. Watch him closely, but from afar.
Other people gave you advice about what to do with the 17 year old girl. She has her own issues and her parents need to know. Thats all you need to do.
I hope you can post a positive update on your son someday.
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Rating: 5
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Actually she was molesting our son. Once we had her arrested other parents came forward and it turns out she had molested several little boys.
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