Member Since: October 23, 2003
Answers: 187
Last Update: November 18, 2005
Visitors: 17624
|
| |
ok my older sister is such an @$$ she makes things up and makes me bad
she makjes it look like she is the perfect one i mean i am not jelous but i need some combacks anything will do (link)
|
a few brilliant ripostes from my youth (not actually reccomended for real-life use):
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"That times a million!"
"I didn't do it, whatever it was!"
"Eat my shorts!"
"I think not."
"You blame it, you claim it!"
"Liar, liar, pants on fire!"
Hope those help, or at least demonstrate how bad comeback technology was a 10-15 years ago.
|
|
is any one wiccan becuase i sorta am i mean i havent been initiated yet or anything but i go threw these fases where i am wicca and othrs when i really am not so i was wondering because i cant really learn this stuff by myselkf cause i am one of those peopel i mean i have been studying on and off for like a year so i wanted to no if anyone can help me becuase i really like wicca but i need help with it (link)
|
If you check out the "spirituality" category here, you'll find a bunch of answers from various points of view to a question on Wicca... you could try directing your question specifically to one of the pro-Wicca types in there.
Depending on where you are (big cities or college towns are easier for this), you may be able to find a Wiccan or similar group that may be able to set you off on the right foot. Meeting with strange people in what your folks may not recognize as a house of worship might be a problem if you're still living with your parents, so you may have to be happy with correspondence or visiting an info table on campus somewhere.
Failing that, it seems to me (from the outside, mind you) that a lot of Wiccans go it alone by instinct, insight and a lot of reading... a community isn't always readily available and there's enough variety in Wicca for not every Wiccan to fit into every group (not unlike all religions, but complicated by the fact that Wiccans tend not to be too reliant on doctrine or a central text).
Hope at least one of those leads helps!
|
|
how do you get a guy to like you if you are not a very pretty girl? (link)
|
i) every guy has his own conceptions of very pretty.
ii) guys have free will, and will like who they do.
iii) that being said, if you're fun to be around, involved in the world around you and in the right place at the right time, it's possible a guy who is to your liking will take to liking you.
There's cause and effect in human relationships, but you never know quite what the effect of the causes you provide will be. Go forth, enjoy life and good stuff may just happen while you're busy making other plans!
|
|
I have a cold. I've been blowing my nose all day with these awful tissues and now it's all sore and I think i'm going to die. what do I do? stop blowing it? band-aid it so the snot just doesn't run out? sorry this is so gross. (link)
| |
Drink hot fluids... water brought to boiling poured over a spoonful of honey and juice of a lemon is really good, gets lots of sleep and try to de-stress. Just lean over the mug and breathe for a bit, then drink it when the temperature's pleasant. Take a hot shower... it'll loosen everything up and give you a little peace from your nose for a bit. And get the softest tissues you can find.
|
|
i'm a bisexual girl, and i have a huge crush on a female friend of mine (we're not that close, more liek just getting to know each other/talking in classes). she doesnt know my sexual preference and, more importaintly, i dont know hers. so my question is, how would i go about finding out her sexual preferance without right out asking her. we have many mutual friends but i think i may feel weird asking them if shes straight or not, because theyd want to know why, and anyone close enough to her to know would probably tell her i asked. any ideas? (link)
|
I suppose knowing your friend's orientation is helpful, but it seems more like you want to know if she's into you in particular (in which case, gay, bi, straight but up for an exception, anti-label, whatever, who cares?)
Figuring people out in a romantic way... now that's another question. Like everyone else answering this question... keep getting to know her better, and maybe ask her out on a pretty obvious date? You'll have a little backpedalling room and it's not quite as direct as some methods, but an invitiation for a candlelit dinner, a walk in the woods or a sappy movie will certainly send some kind of message...
|
|
It's obscenely early in the morning, I've not yet gotten to sleep. How do I GET to sleep? (link)
| |
Read for a bit, or listen to talk radio in the dark. Being still and letting words wash over me usually works for me.
|
|
You gave me some advice..Um...I wrote about the guy that I really liked and I messed things up really bad, and he blocked me on AIM. And you mentioned that I had to move on, until he does something to invite me to talk to him. Well, he unblocked me. And I've talked to him a couple of times, but I haven't pushed the issue. I don't want to irritate him. I think he's still mad at me..well, I kind of know. He pretty much said it. And I think...that he does miss me. And that he does wonder about being with me again, I mean...he wouldnt still look at me right? Well...my friends/mother (Yeah..I know...I'm pathetic) think that he's just afraid that I haven't changed, and that we would end up hurting each other again...and I would flip out on him again...thats why he doesn't pursue anything. They tell me to be patient, and I really do want him back. And I dont sit around and wait for him. I do other things. I just...well, what do you think? Thanks. (link)
|
We're here to supplement your friends and mother, not replace them... no patheticness there.
I had a friend who once told me he could coach me in how to get a definitive answer from a cute, recalcitrant girl... only he more or less guaranteed it would be "go away!" It would of course free you up from waiting for him if you follow my friend's methods. A little more aggravation might even build character (like a camping trip in the rain) but it's probably not what you're looking for.
The best remedy for his fears is probably time and a little space. Your time for proactiveness is over, his time is upon him (and he can choose his pace or decline altogether). Allow whatever he chooses to be a pleasant surprise, either a concern drifted off your mind or forgiveness and renewal... or whatever mix of those happens. There'll be time for you to take action and be successful in this arena in the future, but a little patience is all I can suggest for now.
|
|
Alright, so I finally got this serious boyfriend. But, of course after awhile, I forgot how lucky I was to have him,(yes I was lucky, he's wonderful, despite his flaws) and I started flipping out about the most stupid stuff ever. And he couldnt' take it anymore and dumped me. He was so sweet about it, (well as sweet as you can get dumping a person) he even cried. He told me that he cried every time we fought. And I was completely shocked. He kept how he felt from me because he didnt' want me to be upset. And I went psycho trying to get him back, but it just pushed him further away from me. And he blocked me on AIM and told me never to talk to him again. And now he has this new girlfriend. And he says he's really happy. But, yet I mentioned a guy in my online journal, and he sort of went on and on about it in his journal, indirectly. All of my friends think he wrote what he wrote because he read mine and got jealous. He still glances at me in school, to. But, when he notices one of my friends noticing him looking, he hurries and turns his head. I mean, he seems to really like her, but yet it seems like he has feelings still for me. I don't talk to him..well, hardly ever. I don't know what to do. I am so lost. Someone, please please please help me. I still love him, and its been months, and it still hurts. I have matured. And I realized what I lost...I just want him to know that, and I want him back. Sigh. -Amanda (link)
|
You, being blocked and asked not to talk to him, have to move on and tend to the rest of life until he does or says something which unambiguously invites you back into talking distance.
It may be hard, but it's also honourable _and_ it won't smack of desperation. That and you'll probably experience all sorts of worthwhile stuff basically undistracted by the whole boy thing, whether it's school, creativity, work, other friends or whatever.
|
Whoo, it's another question suspiously similar to every other question asked here, but is getting asked here because the person who is asking it thinks that their situation is somehow inherently special and different from everyone else's.
So, still want to help me?
Ok. I've been friends with this guy (I shall refer to him as... um... Blarg) for about 3 years total. (I am in 9th grade, as is he.) I started liking Blarg about 2 1/2 years ago, and I've told him I like him, abeit via other people. I *suspect* that he likes me "as more than a friend" (I DESPISE that phrase but it will have to do), in fact I'm nearly positive, but recently something happened at his birthday party that made me wonder.
He invited me to his party (I was the only girl he invited) and most of the party was taking place at an arcade. The party guests and Blarg stayed at his house for about half an hour before getting in the car to ride to the arcade, where he was continually teased about liking me, and I about liking him. We had to sit next to each other in the car on the way there for space reasons, to the great amusement of the other partygoers in the car. We were sitting in the car for about 10 minutes or so because his parents were still in the house, and we were getting teased unmercifully. Finally Blarg says, "I don't like ***** (me) as a girlfriend, ok?" I was a tad bit startled, and since then I've been wondering if he said what he meant or if it was just to get the other people off his back. I did ask one of my friends about it and she thought he just said it to get them to shut up, but I decided to bug the entire internet because you're all so special. :P (link)
|
Far be it from me to disagree with someone who was there. Your eyewitness is probably much more reliable than those of us observing Blarg in secondhand ASCII.
That, and your real live advice seems to be pretty consistent with what I'd expect.
|
|
Does anyone know of a good leg exercise? Ever since I stopped taking gym classes, my legs have gotten out of shape. Would you know a good one for both weight loss and to get them back into semi-shape? Esp. for someone with not a lot of time or space? (link)
| |
Get around as much as possible by bike or by foot, and develop an irrational fear of elevators and escalators (i.e. take the stairs, maybe two at a time...). Little changes like that make it easier to stay in shape without rearranging your life.
|
|
please can you help me end my addiction to horribly insulting reality television shows? it's like when i'm channel surfing and one's on i can't not stop on one... the more degrading the better. i don't know what it is about seeing people exploited, i'm just facinated by it, but for some reason i feel dumber after watching these things, like they suck out my IQ or something. is there hope? (link)
| |
You should become a cultural theorist: read some really difficult French theorists and use long words that nobody except other cultural theorists and the cooler art historians know of. Fox will still be bad for you, but you can then suffer through it and inform the masses... or you can invoke polysemy and make Fox good for you with a wave of your cultural-theory wand...
|
|
I keep seeing signs everywhere that read, "You are a brain in a vat." Is this the central computer trying to tell me that the world around me is just an illusion? Or is some philosophy major just messing with my head? (link)
|
If I tell you it's just a philosophy major, then what's to tell you that I'm not just a clever ploy by the now-backpedalling vat-maintenance daemon of the central computer?
Forty-two.
|
Okay, there's this guy at my college, let's call him Jacen. We met at an organization bonfire, and as it turned out, we live in the same dorm. So he comes over and chills in my room from time to time. I don't mind this. I think he's interesting to talk to, and in spite of the fact that he never leaves until an hour after I tell him to, I don't mind his visits. For the most part.
So the other day at lunch, he asked me if I'd like to go to the opera performance with him. Not being able to come up with an excuse not to, and kind of wanting to see an opera anyway (I'd never been to one before, and I'd only seen a recording of a P.D.Q. Bach opera... that doesn't really count), I said sure. He then went on to explain that he had two tickets, and needed a taker for the other one. Why he had two tickets, I don't know.
I know for a fact that he's interested in someone. I don't know who this someone is.
This is slightly disturbing to me.
So- a) how do I know if he's interested in me or not, and b) how do I let him know I like him as a person, but I'm NOT interested? (link)
|
Having two tickets to a classy event like the opera doesn't usually just happen, unless he works for some generous corporate sponsor of the opera or participates in radio contests on the classical station :)
Either he considers you to be a fine opera buddy (or a potential convert to opera fandom) or you're being asked out on a date.
Maybe both. My bet is on interested and maybe the former option too.
So, I would guess making it clear how you see things would be a good idea. Gently but firmly (something along the lines of "I think of us as just friends, and I can't see that changing"). The question is when... sometime when he looks to be getting cuddly or after thanking him... or in a quiet moment when walking there or back. Maybe another answerer has a better idea, I know that doesn't narrow it down too much, but if you leave him in suspense... it can get a little cruel in a strange kind of way. He'll be bringing all the romantically-confused-guy stuff onto himself, but not setting him straight is like just walking by a puppy who's tangled himself up in his leash.
|
Just so you know, I will be ETERNALLY GRATEFUL if you answered this, I REALLY need help on this matter...
There is a boy in my school. He is studly and flirty and *appears* to be a good guy. I used to admire him (NOT as a crush or anything, just as a person), but now I'm not so sure. This year, we are both freshman and happen to be in most of the same classes. He is kind to me and I apperciate that, but a few weeks ago he asked me what the homework in French class was. I told him and he asked me to see my workbook so he would know what pages to do (keeping in mind that this is the class right before French!) me, being the idiot that I am, gave it to him without question and he eventually gave it back. I was expecting it to be over but it wasn't. At least twice a week he would ask me for my workbook and I would continue to give it to him. One day, though, I was absent and hadn't yet gotten the homework for French and he asked me for my book. I explained that I wasn't there to get it and thus didn't have it done. He looked at me and there was disappointment in his eyes and voice, but that's not what threw me off. What really got me going (although I didn't show it at the time) was the fact that he said: "oh... it's ok then" as if he were FORGIVING me for not doing my homework so he could copy it! I'm angry at him, but I'm afraid if I tell him off then he'll do something nasty (spread a rumor, make fun of me, etc). But then if I don't tell him off, he'll just keep taking advantage of me! What should I do? (link)
|
Plagiarism is bad, copying your work is plagiarism, letting someone copy your work is plagiarism. If that's college freshmen you're talking about, plagiarism can cause you to fail a course, which does bad things to scholarships and your record. I'd suggest cutting out the plagiarism.
He sounds like a bit of a mooch. Take that as you will. If you're worried about him doing something nasty, well, I'd put some distance between you and him if I were you. If it's not that bad, well, at least stick to what's right on the plagiarism thing, 'cause it's a bad habit to be in and very unethical to be on either end of it.
If he's not a jerk (or if he is but it's limited to mooching and academic dishonesty), he won't do anything nasty in reaction to your doing the right thing. If he is a (complete) jerk, then something else would set him off, at least you'll have been ready to deal with it.
|
|
i have a friend lauren and we got in a fight the other day and we made up that night. we discussed our issues and stuff but my main one was that i dont trust her and her i. and we said we would work on that but i cant shake the feeling that she is hiding something from me and that she secretly doesnt want to trust me or just cant should i confront her on this or should i just lay low and wait for time to pass? (link)
|
Tough question: I'm taking the waiting approach with a similar problem and it's been a year and a half... so maybe you should explore more active options :)
Stuff like that can fester, I suspect it may be better to confront and mess it up than to let it sit there and grind you down for a long time. And confronting may even not mess up, in which case you win even more,
|
|
All of my freinds have guys that like them and their all going out and everything. As far as I know nobody likes me. How can I find out if anyone does? Or how can I get somone to like me. Its verry annoying when all of my freinds are always going out and I'm always at home. (link)
|
Go to www.spacefem.com and do the boyfriend quiz (in the left-hand sidebar, down a bit).
That being said, with the pressure off, people are tricky to read... but interacting with them and listening carefully while you do so is a good start. You should get a feel for it after a few wrong guesses!
The best way to wind up with a guy seems to be to be busy living a happy life, then they'll just kind of turn up. Doing stuff you like that brings people together, like drama, yearbook or mixed sports like cross-country running, won't hurt either.
Whatever you do, enjoy the friendships and cameraderie and activities themselves while you're there. It's not like you have some limited reserve of potential happiness or anything.
Don't forget the quiz!
|
|
is fear in religion a good thing, to keep morality, or is it some man made thing to control people? (link)
|
We're wired for fear as humans... some fear is exploitative, some fear is justified. It's like any other emotion. Just a means to an end, whether it's the pleasure of getting into a warm house out of the cold, or the pleasure of berating someone into the ground.
I've got atheistic tendencies, so the good bits of fear in religion are those which keep people honest, helpful, respectful of others, etc. Good non-religious fear includes fear of pointy things and unsafe footing at great heights. Bad fear paralyzes, defrauds, inspires hate... you get the idea. In religious and secular discourse, you'll see a bit of both. Unless you believe in a cruel or indifferent god, religious fear should be that good stuff. The not-good stuff comes from those silly humans messing up the message in that case. (This is not to say puny humans can't evoke good fear... like your parents probably did with the hot stove). If you're of an atheist or agnostic persuasion... well, it's all silly humans, but they can do good as well as bad. It's what they're doing that counts.
So, in summary: fear -- it's not what it is, it's what it does.
Hope that gets you started.
|
|
What's the appropriate response when someone e-mails you a question that's addressed in your site's Frequently Asked Questions page? See, I've got this forum up at spacefem.com and people just don't seem to understand the benifits that come from clicking that "FAQ" link, they still bug us all the time. Should we shame them endlessly? Politely direct them to the FAQ page? Just answer their question and accept the fact that people on the internet can't seem to learn to read? (link)
|
Give them a one-sentence answer a link to the FAQ "for the whole story" (this works better if your FAQ answers are paragraph-length, although I suppose if your FAQ answers are short, give the answer verbatim and point to the FAQ -- they'll figure it out).
Maybe adding a big, flashing link to the FAQ in the top-right of your forum template and your contact form will help, too.
|
|
i have this friend who made me very angry all the way back in august. he enraged me so much, i still refuse to talk to him. the terrible things he said about my best friend were unacceptable. but now... he won't leave me alone. i don't even want to go online now because he might bother me. i don't want to forgive him and my life has seemed so much easier now that i don't bother with him. but how do i get that message across to him, the guy who JUST DOESN'T GET IT??? (link)
|
Block his account in your electronic message program?
Some people (myself included from time to time) just need a little time to figure out what's hit us and how it's related to what we've done. Meanwhile we do what seems like the sensible thing and try to rebuild bridges at every opportunity.
Sooner or later, when the balance of messages-sent to messages-recieved gets seriously out of whack, we give up.
Then, when you get around to forgiving us, we are either overjoyed or thoroughly miffed for being snubbed for so long... either way, block + spurn = peace and quiet for you and puts the ball in your court.
|
I find mself very confused about this problem and may not be able to listen to myself as to the true answer.
Forgive me in advance for the length of this question.
Last year I started having recurring dreams about a woman I knew 15 years ago. She was married and we had a platonic relationship that bordered on romantic. I broke it off after 2 long years due to frustration. After the series of dreams, I wrote to her. My first attempt got no response. In my second attempt, I was a bit more open with my feelings. I received a phone message from her saying that her life was busy but she would get back to me. I did some research and found out that she has been divorced for quite some time but she had been seeing someone for about a year. I have not heard from her since the phone call (many months ago). Obviously, I felt a great deal for her but I do not want to hold on to unrequited feelings. I am still wondering why she said she would get back to me? She could have easily told me to go away or ignored me altogether. My question is simply... Will she ever contact me in a more meaningful fashion?
Thanks in advance,
Joseph (link)
|
My best guess is no, not after a few months and a couple of opportunities. Stranger things have happened, but they don't happen reliably.
Then again, you could try cross-posting this as a psychic reading question.
But seriously, people from the past do drift out of the woodwork sometimes, but you can't rely on any given person returning at any given time.
Realize that if someone else from your distant-ish past turned up on your answering machine, the range of possible reactions goes from creeped-out to overjoyed, with a whole bunch of complicated factors determining what it is.
Planning and foresight have limited value in situations like this: go on living as usual and something will happen or it won't.
|
|