It seems like my life is a big ball of stress. I'm often angry or annoyed, but still have plenty of happy times. I have headaches a lot, and I cut. Mostly when I'm stressed or mad. Also times when I'm sad. I don't use a knife tho, I use a fingernail file that has a piece of loose metal sticking out. I did lots of research on what I could be experiencing, but nothing seems to help. I seem to experience stress a lot, and am always getting into fights with my sister or other family members and it makes me want to break down sometimes. Last week I left marks on my leg after getting upset with my sister, and today they were almost gone, and me and my dad had a fight and I started crying and cutting myself in my room, opening the cuts right back up. I've only ever told one person about this, but she is an actual happy and carefree person, so she can listen, just not understand. I know one person who will understand but I won't see her till next month. I keep going on and off about whether or not I may be depressed, but don't feel comfortable talking about it with someone I don't completely trust. I Do sleep a lot usually at night, but I also workout and not sad all the time. I think of suicide sometimes even though I'm not gonna try it and I let my thoughts and emotions get the best of me. I get annoyed easily, and just experience anger. I seem to get stressed very easily and quickly too, and it causes me to lose control and experience all these crazy emotions. And no, it hasn't just been a passing thing either. Seems to be my life. Before I do something about it, how do I find out why I'm going through all this? I know people who get stressed, and believe me, the way I think and act isn't normal. Sometimes I just can't control it. Does anyone know a site I can use to find out more about this?
While it may be that the cause is hormonal or some other body chemistry thing, its also possible that its just mental. Its also possible that you are bipolar. I dated someone bipolar and they would be really nice and happy at times. Other times she became very depressed and wanted to die. Other times she would freak out and be very aggressive. There's a bipolar documentary on youtube, check it out. Maybe some of these people sound like you, maybe they don't.
We live in a world full of good and bad. Unfortunately, its way easier to focus on the bad. This causes stress and the more you focus on the bad, the more stress it causes and the easier it is to focus on the bad. and so on, until you can't take anymore and it explodes out of you. Like when you wake up "on the wrong side of bed". Then you're much more likely to focus on the bad for the rest of the day, or at least a while.
Stress comes from wishing things/people/situations were different. Noone ever got stressed from getting what they want or for things working out for them. (unless they feel they don't deserve these good things, then that will give them stress) Acceptance of "what is" is key to, not overcoming stress, but letting go of it. Being ok that this or that happened and being ok with how things are. This is why some people freak out over things while others couldn't care less. Its not the thing that happened, its what you THINK of them, when you think it means. I've seen people freak out, destroy things, get in fights because they lost at a videogame. People lose all the time, but not everyone reacts like that.
There is also this part of people that LIKES being in pain. I was very depressed once and I hit myself. HARD. Several times. I felt that I deserved it and found some strange relief from it. This is what Eckhart Tolle talks about in his book "The power of now". Which I highly highly recommend. So he calls it "the pain body". It wants pain and drama. It feeds off it. So there's a part of us that craves drama. Its very smart and very tricky and knows how to get what it wants from you. It possesses you when you lash out. That's why sometimes after lashing out, it feels like you weren't your normal self. Cause you weren't, it was the pain body taking over. When it happens, you are not aware of it of course. You are not conscious of your behavior or actions.
One great way to deal with emotions is to explain them as they are happening. Meaning, telling them. "The way you are being towards me is not cool and it makes me feel this way or that way." Explaining your emotions, not expressing them. I know it sounds dumb, but it works. I've done it myself. Someone acted a certain way towards me that made me angry. I felt the rage coming up. But I noticed it and decided to try and explain it. Just to see what happened. To my surprise, my rage faded pretty quickly as soon as I explained it. The other person apologized for being an a-hole.
Here is the link to the bipolar documentary. Its mostly people who have it, explaining what its like. I finally understood why my girlfriend at the time acted the way she did. You say how you think and act, aren't normal and that sometimes you can't control it. They say similar things. Worth checking out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyiZfzbgaW4
And here is the "power of now" audiobook. Everyone who lives stressed out should listen to it. Its very practical and simple and can help you find peace from the constant bombardment of the mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdLwMdcFah8
[view]
I've been depressed and had a lot of anxiety. I can't sleep or pay attention. My parents try to get me to talk to them and tell them what's going on but I can't open up. How can I open up and tell them that I'm not okay?
Lots of times just talking to someone that will hear you out without judgement is a great way to relieve anxiety. You must have SOMETHING on your mind that makes you anxious. Coming clean is a great way to do it. I read this book called. "why am I afraid to tell you who I am?" The answer is basically, because "if I tell you who I am, and you don't like it, its all I've got." So people will go out of their way and make themselves miserable by not saying what they wanna say. The book stresses the importance for humans to have someone at least one person they can communicate with without fear of being judged. My nephew finally opened up to his parents about what was going on in his mind, that caused him a lot of stress to hold on to it. He thought they would explode if they found out. But one day he decided to come clean and deal with the possible consequences cause hiding it forever and not being able to be open was worse. So he told them that he is abandoning the family religion. He believes different things. They didn't explode, they were glad he told them and respected his decision. He also told them he smokes weed from time to time. (another huge nono when it comes to parents [or so we think]) They didn't explode that time either. And they love him just the same. Clearly your parents love you too and want what's best for you and want you to be happy. If you don't have someone you can talk to without fear of judgement, and you must (or want) to talk to your parents. Writing whats going on with you can help you see more clearly. You can even write a letter to them telling them what's going on with you. Then not send it. If you ARE ready to send it, then I suggest saying that you are willing to talk, but ONLY on your own terms. Remind them how difficult it can be for a son/daughter to talk to their parents. Since they are also sons and daughters with parents. So they've been where you are, and can relate. Explain that its hard for you to communicate this to them and by doing it this way, you can be more open. Otherwise, its not gonna happen. After they agree, tell them you wish to do it through emails or facebook messages or some other written form. Under the condition that they don't just read the message and come talk to you. Writing back and fourth gives you a chance to be more clear, and for them to be more clear and more importantly, think about their response instead of just reacting. Then once you understand each other, you can move on to talking in person. I also told my highly religious parents I didn't believe in their religion. And that I've tried drugs. They didn't freak out or explode either. Good luck! I recommend that book. Its an easy read with a lot of great insights. Hope this helps!
[view]
|
