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I don't judge. I've seen a lot, and the things I haven't, I'm always open to listening to. I want to make a difference. advice
Lately I've been feeling more and more isolated from the world. I usually talk to my friends about it, but lately I haven't been getting that feel good feeling I usually get when I talk about it. Also I am one of those people who have no contact with their family whatsoever. That really doesn't help with the problem either. I want to talk to my friends in person, but I can't, because I either don't have enough time to talk with them about it, or I can't even get to the person to ask them about it. Idk, can you help me on this?
Hey, I'm really sorry about how you're feeling lately--It sucks, I know. I especially understand the no talking to family, and can't promise I'll be too helpful if they're the ones you want to talk to. Friends however, I can relate to!
Have your friends been different? Maybe something's wrong with them? Try to ask them if they've been alright lately. Sometimes, talking to other people about something that's wrong really helps, too! Something may be keeping them from being completly dedicated to someone else's problem, and the more ya'll talk, the closer you'll be!
I understand why you'd want to talk to them in person, rather than over the phone or over AIM or something like that. In-depth things don't usually work in school, and even if it were during lunch or a studyhall, that's still very limited on certain aspects.
I'd reccomend trying to arrange a day you can just kind of.. chill. Nothing like going to the movies or mall or something where you HAVE to do a set thing.. Try going over someone's house. Depending on how many people you need to talk to, you could arrange something small or large (Though I'd reccomend a one on one thing, sleepover, maybe?). Try to be bold and say that things have seemed different lately, and that you really want to talk. Say your part, and let them say their part. It should be very relaxed, and especially if it's at a sleepover, you'll have time to do more upbeat things later.
Make sure you completly get everything off your chest, however you do this. There's nothing worse than trying to talk over a problem and then having left over feelings after the fact. Completion is key, so if you don't feel that the conversation is complete, don't let it be! Your friends won't get mad at you for wanting to resolve a problem (and it's better to get everything done at once, rather than spread out with time for more problems to arise).
Best of luck, and let me know how things go or if you need absolutely anything else!
XOXO
KAT.
13/f
how do you turn off that auto complete thing cause it makes me so mad. its like that thing if you type t it will show all the t words you've typed
If you've got the same kind of phone as I do, all you'd have to do is quickly press the pound (#) key twice in a row. You'll see in the top, where you'd normally see that you have a text/message, that it's either ABC, Abc, or something like Abc.. or t9. Hope this helps!
XOXO
KAT.
My family can be really critical, but what they think will always matter to me, as well as my friends. So i just need some opinions from everyone.
Im on track to become a Nurse. but im about three years away from being totally done with it.. I really want to start a family.. i want to be able to have enough energy to have fun with my family. I love kids, i work with kids, but im worried that people might think im too young still. My family atleast tends to think that 35 is the perfect age to have children. So..
My question is: what is the RIGHT age for people to start a family? (assume they would be married)
Thank you so much. sorry if its in the wrong category
No one can really say what the 'right' age is for someone to start a family. They may see thirty-five as the right age, while people in older times saw fourteen and fifteen as a suitable age to have children/get married.
It's only an opinion, but thirty-five may even be a little late, depending on when you'd be going through menopause, etc.
Only you can really determine when you're ready and willing to have children. Your family will probably support you in your decisions you make, and if not, well, they should.
What I'd reccomend is finishing up your schooling, and finding a job in becoming a Nurse. Once you've got a stable job, that's when I'd reccomend trying to have children.
But, like I said, it's all up to you! If you think you'd be able to handle a baby at the point you're at now, feel free! Just make sure you think you'll be able to handle everything that comes along with a family.
Good luck (:
XOXO
KAT.
I pierced my own ears about a week ago and hid them for up to now. I want to tell her, because I have done this before on my earlobes, and she wasnt too mad, but she did specifically tell me not to do my cartilage (which I pierced). If I tell her, I don't think she'll get too mad, but I just don't know how to come about telling her. So how should I do it? It's not exactly a friendly dinner conversation...
Thanks
She'll probably get angry to the same extent, regardless as to where you are, so that much probably shouldn't matter. While it's not 'friendly dinner conversation', that's probably where I'd reccomend it, more than anything else.
If you're not comfortable with that, however, I'd say to do it some time after dinner, when everyone is relaxed and ready to go to bed. Just try either flat out coming out with it, or saying something like "Anything look different lately?". It may put a lighter mood on things. Just say you're really sorry, and you knew you weren't supposed to, but that you went through with it anyway. Explain that you'll understand if she's angry.
Just make sure you're MATURE about this. Technically, you went against her word, but if you go at this in a mature way, she'll probably not get as angry, and even understand.
Best of luck!!
XOXO
KAT.
Well i have this personal interview for college on the 10th of june and i know im soooooooooooo going to screw up becaus i get really nervous, i stammer, breat out into sweat, get blank...get cold feet, knees shake...get my point? yelpp!!!
What I'd reccomend is to research some of the questions that a college interviewer may ask. Either that, or ask a guidance councilor (This will actually help you in talking to people, as well), and write them down. Then, get a friend, or preferably an adult to ask you the questions. This may seem weird, but practice exactly how you'd act with someone you didn't know! It'll really help, and you'll have some answers prepared.
And just remember, they'll expect you to be nervous. They may even see it as how much you're worried about this chance, and appreciate it in a way. Just, when you go in for your interview, say something along the lines of, "Sorry, I'm a little nervous.." And I'm sure they'll be fine with it!
Best of luck, you'll do fine! (:
XOXO
KAT.
15/f
My family is catholic, but i found out that my brother is "agnostic". This has happened recently, he is a seventh grader and only 13 years old. Will he grow out of this? He goes to church but he never says any of the prayers or anything. A lot of people think catholicism is too "strict" but our church isn't a normal catholic church; we have a youth choir that actually sings songs that aren't boring and we have youth groups and our priests are really nice and actually give good sermons. What can i do to help him? I don't want to shove it down his throat or anything...but what should i do? please help!
Well, it dosen't sound like he should be very bored if your church actually does things, but that could still be a possibility. What's probably happening though is that he's beginning to form, and express his own opinions. If others try to "shove their opinions down his throat", he may begin to have a negative connotation with religion--which is why I'd reccomend to let him make his own decisions at this point.
Of course, he could just not be QUITE as into prayer as your family may be. Perhaps he still prays on his own? There's no saying you have to follow a set standard to say you believe in a certain thing.
Try to talk to him some times about what HE believes, and what he thinks of your church, rather than what you'd reccomend. I commend you, however for being there and concerned for him, and wanting to help him. If you'd like, make little subtle reccomendations that he may, or may not take into consideration.
Just make sure he knows that he's accepted, and that your religion is there for him. After that, let him make his own decisions.
XOXO
KAT.
Is sex when a girl is on her period a complete no?
how bad is it, how bloody does it get? is it really grotesque? does it keep flowing?
It all really depends on the girl. Generally, the less experienced, the more likely it probably is to be a no, because they'll be self concious, etc.
And on severity.. Like I said, It depends on the girl. Usually towards the middle/beginning, it can get really bad. Depending on what your opinion is of 'grotesque', you may or may not think so, though it certaintly isn't very pretty. And it flows randomly, so.. Yeah.
I'd reccomend waiting. It'll be a ton easier on the girl.
XOXO
KAT.
okay so im 15....
and
pregnant! i just found out...
yes i know i am very young to be pregnant.
i will be 16 in 2 months.
so please dont write about how im too young and blah blah blah...i already know....dont need to hear it more. thank you.
anyways....today i was on the laptop and my dad was next to me and i was looking at abortion pictures and saying how horrible it was. and my dad was like so if you got pregnant you would keep it? and i said YES I COULD NEVER KILL A BABY! and then we had this whole argument on how its not a baby at a certain amount of weeks and whatever...so i showed him an article on how they get nerves at 4 weeks so they do feel it and he was like I DONT CARE ID DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE CLINC AND MAKE YOU GET ONE! i just kept saying you cant make me..
REMEMBER....HE DOES NOT KNOW IM PREGNANT!
also when he found out my mom was pregnant with my little brother he yelled and screamed at her and dropped her off at the clinc..she sat there for HOURS crying...finally went in but they said she was too far along to get one...thank god.
so my dad is capable of having the heart to leave me at a clinc.
how do i tell him im pregnant without going through that? im keeping the baby, im still with the father and he is staying with me so i have help.
when i tell my dad should i immediately tell him abortion is out of the question?
can he really force me into an abortion? thats my right though isnt it? its not like since im under 18 he could make it get it by law right?
either way i need to tell him soon because i want this baby to be healthy so regular checkups to the OBGYN and getting put on healthy stuff is needed asap.
i live in florida if that helps?
thank you.
Wow, this is a really difficult situation. I'm really sorry to see that you need to go through this.
First, like the others said, talk to your Mom. Don't be too afraid that she'll be angry, because that dosen't really matter at this point. She'll be able to understand and help you. Let her know how set you are on keeping this, and that you think it's wrong to get rid of the baby. Plead for her help, she's your parent, too.
After you talk to your Mom, I'd reccomend to have HER talk to your Dad before you. Possibly try to get a counsilor and you could all talk it through there--that way, no one can get TOO hot headed, and you'll have an outside person to be able to help ya'll out. (Really, it seems like a hassle, but try this--it'll be worth it).
In the mean time, let your Dad know most of the reasons abortions are wrong. Really, you never know who could be born, and I'm sure you're trying to make him understand that the baby should have the right to life. Also, let him know that uncommon to popular belief, someone of your age CAN take care of a baby. No, it's not easy at all, but it's possible. Many of my friends had very young mothers, and their, as well as their children's lives are going very well. Another example is a girl in my Italian class who had her daughter her Freshman year. She's literally one of the smartest people I know. Basically, a baby DOES make things more difficult, but if you let your parents know you'll still be the best person possible, everything will be fine.
Also, I'm nearly certain that he can't force you to do this. Even if your Mother agrees with his choice to 'drop you off at a Clinic', you don't HAVE to do anything. Let your parents know what people who go through with abortions actually go through--depression is usually a pretty common thing, along with regret. No one can force you to go through that, it's your choice. In fact, if he drops you off, you could always go inside and talk to the professionals there about what your options are, I'm sure they'll want to help you out as much as possible.
Things will be difficult, but you'll get through them! Email me if you need anything.
XOXO
KAT.
We are both close best friends and we bicker, I mean I have two close friends and we don’t bicker like I do with my friend (lets call her S). There was this time when I wanted to go get sushi for myself, S made a gross look on her face.
“Hey there’s nothing wrong with it, its good”
“S: No it is disgusting”
(My other Friend commented) “I dont like sushi”
S: “See! She doesn’t like it”
(Rolled my eyes) “Okay, I am not forcing you to eating it. I am eating it!”
And
“S: This is a good book I think you will like it you should read it”
“When I have time”
“S: But it’s good”
“I know, but I am not a reader like you are. I'll read a novel when I want to, why do always bug me to read a book!”
S: “you just don’t care…”
“What! No I just don’t feel like reading”
Why does she do that? Just to get me all pumped up or something!?!?
we are both girls
during the bickering she has a smile on her face...as do i too. i see her giggle when i get hot headed because i am easy to get worked up.
It's probably one of two things: They're being really mean and like to see how easily flustered you get, or they're trying to mess around with you and have fun.
I'd reccomend that while they're messing with you, you stay calm. If they're only trying to have fun, they'll know to stop. If they're TRYING to get you frustrated, they themselves will get frustrated. It sounds a little bit like both of you get worked up pretty quickly quickly--try to prevent the hostility by just dropping any subject that may anger you at all.
XOXO
KAT.
where can i get small but cheap nose rings at easy to put on and take off? thx in advance!!!
Most stores at the mall that sell any ear peircing things should have them in lots of colors and sizes. I'd reccomend trying places like Claires, Hot Topic, peircing places at the mall, basically anywhere they sell earrings.
Also, try where you're getting your nose peircing done. They should have a ton at a really reasonable price!
XOXO
KAT.
ok so lateley my attitude been changing and i dont know why!!!im 15 in 9th grade if that helps!its like every time i get into an argument with my mom/sis/and teachers i pretend like im not listening to them!i look at the ceiling and walls and mess with my nails...pretty much do everyting but look at the person in there face wich is really rude but its almost like i cant help but to do it!!!i think i do it to make the person think im not listening but i really am!i think its just to make them mad but i really want to stop doin that!its really rude and disrespectful but i keep doing it and i dont know why!!!can someone please like explain why im doin this or like how i can stop doin this?!?!?! thanx!!!!!
I'm pretty sure it's mostly an age thing. Now that you're getting older, it seems like people should handle things in a more reasonable way than yelling at us--I understand that much. So I guess in our mindset, sometimes ignoring them seems like we're almost winning or being really defiant.
While the defiance is true, you're right, it does just come off as rude and disrespectful.
To stop doing it, when you're in an arguement with someone (be wary as to what sets you off--you could get an angry kind of reputation) realize that if you ignored them, nothing would be solved, and that would make things worse. Start at not playing with your nails, and maybe just try looking down. That way you won't have to look them in the face, and it looks a little more like you feel guilty, rather than have an attitude.
If you can do that (you'll have to work at it, but it'll work after a while), try to resort to looking the person in the face, and letting them speak thier part. This will prevent yelling, and they'll all see how mature you can handle something. This will actually even prevent future fights, and make it so people talk TO you, not yell AT you. It'll be worth it.
XOXO
KAT.
I was just wondering i just started my period when i was 17 right about to turn 18. and i just skipped my growth spurt. meaning as i did not get one. well i am on yaz birth control i was just wondering me being on yaz will it stop my growth spurt possibly stoping me from never even having one.
There shouldn't be any reason that the Birth Control would stop any kind of growth spurt, in fact, birth control can sometimes cause weight gain. It shouldn't really affect height or anything like that, however.
Though I wouldn't really be able to tell from your age alone, our growth spurts generally stop around the age of 15+, or even a year or two after we get our periods--that may be all that's going on, I can't guarentee..
Hope this has helped at all, though.
XOXO
KAT.
so in a couple weeks my class is going swimming, and I have roughly estimated that I might get my time of the month then, it'll be summer so I cant just not go swimming, can I just use a tampon and go swimming?
any suggestions of what I should do?
I also cant take pills to make it go away.
Thanks:)
Something you could try is eating a little more, or exercising to speed it up. It actually works, sometimes!
If you can't help the timing, though, yeah, a tampon would be fine. Just make sure you change it if it starts to feel kind of gross, hah.
Also, try wearing something more along the lines of board shorts, rather than a bikini bottom. You could even wear gym shorts over anything, sicne they'd probably be black, and nothing would show if you happen to have an emergency.
Good luck, and it should all be fine! (:
XOXO
KAT.
It's not a problem it's actually really great. I'm almost positive the kid i like likes me. He doesn't know that I like him. I think that's the issue. I think he thinks I don't like him so he doesn't want to ask me out and get turned down. How do i get him to ask me out without telling him or making it obvious that I like him? Any advice would be great thanks. =]]]]]]
Aww, congrats, first of all!
The weird thing is, it can be pretty easy to get guys to say things you want them to.
First of all, make sure you come in a lot of contact. Not major stuff, just, when ya'll are close, don't pull away. Give him hugs and things of that nature. Then make jokes and stuff about dating. Assuming he jokes back, make yourself seem a little serious, and he'll get ideas.
My friends and I do this little thing called 'Random Awkward Question Game'. I'd totally reccomend playing that with him. It's basically where you guys take turns asking TONS of questions out of the blue. Ask things like "How would you react if I did this...(insert words, lol).." Or "What kind of couple do you think we'd make?" Things of that nature should get things into his head.
Also, maybe try talking about how you like someone, but they're not making a move. You have to make this a TAD obvious, because he may not realize it's him!
Good luck! (:
XOXO
KAT!
does anyone know a store where they have lots of CHEAP and color full guitar picks? cause i need a few =]
ps. don't say a guitar shop or music storee..i already know that.
thanks =]
While it sounds a little dumb, Ebay is fantastic for guitar pics! You can get REALLY large amounts in one pack for hardly anything! While it sucks to have to wait for them to be shipped, it's really worth it. (:
Also, I'd reccomend FYE, Spencers, Hot Topic, and maybe even any place they have guitar lessons (not necessiarly a store), because they may be willing to even give you some for free.
Best of luck, rock hard ;)
XOXO
KAT.
why are my siblings so mean to me when i do nothing to them?
I'd agree with the last person, as well as the following:
Siblings naturally usually fight. While the extent to what the fighting is depends on the family, most failies have their share of fighting. I think the thing that allows us to fight with our siblings as opposed to friends though, is that we can't really LEAVE them. We'll usually forgive our siblings basically because we're stuck with them.
Don't you hate when your parents say they're all you'll have when you get over? It's kind of true, in a way.
Just try to understand that they'll probably grow out of it, and that ya'll should all really love each other..
XOXO
KAT.
ok, im 14 years old. i have been sexually active with three guys. ive had sex with one 2 times an almost had sex with the third guy hours after i met him. the second guy ive done almost everything with except sex. ive known the guy i had sex with for 3 an a half years, the second guy 2 years an the third guy a couple months now but only hours before the incident. there was supposed to be a fourth guy tonight but i was to confused. did i mention all these guys are my older brothers best friends? the oldest is about 17 an the youngest guy was 15 turning 16. does this mean im a slut? even if i havent had SEX with them all, only one?
Remember, only you can determine the person you are. If you consider yourself something, then that's what you thing. However, it won't stop the people around you from having opinions, as well. To some, this may come off as more.. 'wonton' behavior.
While you may not have had sex with all of them, you have still engaged in sexual activity. Today's generation moves much more quickly than older generations, so I guess I'd understand that you are doing things at this age. There's a ton of sexual pressure, you just need to know when to give in and when to pass something up.
Make sure you understand that sex and the things you are doing are supposed to be shared with people you really care about. You may not regret anything now, but it may not seem as special when you're older. While you'll be experienced, there's nothing new to look forward to, or come of age for or anything. Don't make yourself grow up too quickly..
So, you may not necessairly be a slut. That's just a name to put people down, really, just make sure that the behavior you engage in reflects who you are, and is something that you wouldn't be ashamed of.
XOXO
KAT.
I am writing a novel about a sixteen year old girl who is forced to go to a summercamp. While she is there she meets a 25 year old man who lives up in the forest and falls in love with him. Then he gets creepy and kidnaps her to his cabin that's up in the forest where he is holding two other girls because he says that he is "in love with them and wants no one to get in the way of their love" and they have to escape and get back.
Basically the whole theme is rebellion and its effects.
would you be interested in reading this? what other things or twists could i add to make it more interesting?
I think it sounds incredibly interesting, and I know how difficult it is to come up with ideas like this, since I'm attempting to write a book of my own.
It's origional, and sounds like it could even be made into a fantastic movie!
While I'm not sure of what twists you could add (It's really for the author to determine--don't write around other people's ideas, or it'll seem out of place), I do have some things you should be wary of:
-It sounds like the guy is crazy. Make sure you've studied psychological issues, and even possibly pick one for him to have. Remember that a 'crazy' person can even come off as very sweet in the beginning. Make the readers really like this guy! That'll cause even more of a shck when he snaps!
-Make a really plausible reason for them to meet up in the first place. Think about what summer camp is like. Most people don't go off walking on their own, but if you can create a unique, but believable way for them to meet, more power to you! (:
-You could possibly have one of the girls rebel against the other two when they're trying to get away. Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? It's when a kidnapping victim falls in love with their captor, because they know they'll take care of them. This could possibly be an addition to your story, and it helps with the rebellion theme, in a way!
Hope this has helped, and email me if you need anything, I'd love to read some of your work :D
XOXO
KAT!
why would a boy get all flustered when you started talking to him again? My ex boyfriend and i used to be amazing friends and broke up a little over a month ago. i have been trying to talk to him for a while but then we just stopped. im moving in 2 weeks so today when i saw him i asked him if he would be at youth group next week. he got all flustered and was like "well i dont know what im doing, maybe." and i was like "ok well do you think you will?" and he was like i dont know what im doing!!" and then i said "ok, well you dont have to yell. i just wanted to say bye" he does that everytime i ask him something like before it was if we could hangout and he would be like "IDK IM BUSY and i have stuff to do" why does he do this? neever before when we were dating would he do this just since we broke up. thank you so much!! :) ned an answer ASAP because im seeing him tonight--thanx
It would depend on who broke up with whom, and what happened in the break up, really. Here's some situations:
If you broke up with him, he may possibly be a little upset with you. Have ya'll talked everything over? If not, try to. Let him know that you still want to be friends, and you meant no harm.
If he broke up with you, let him know that you're okay, and that you'd like things to go back to normal.
Sometimes it's difficult to go back to the way things are bfore breakups, especially if you were very good frieds beforehand. Let him know, regardless as to what the breakup was over or how it happened, that you'd still like to be friends and possibly go back to normal. Try to talk to him in person so he can't just ignore you, either. This will get the message through, and give you both a chance to say how you feel. Communication is key!
XOXO
KAT.
Best of luck, tonight!
I haven't had my period for a little bit over 2 months now, and I am getting worried. I haven't been sexually active, and if I have I have absolutely no memory of it. But I am still very worried that something is wrong. I started my period like 1 year ago, and I usually have my periods around the same time as my mother, but again, I haven't have my period in a little over in 2 months. I mean, my mom has had 3 periods so far, that means I missed 3. So is there something I should be worried about?
I wouldn't worry too much. Considering you said you just got it, it's normal for your period to be skipping around, etc. It actually takes a few years for it to become regular. This is probably all.
It could be acting more irregular if you're eating a ton less than you normally would, but like I said, it's most likely only because you just started.
I'd just reccomend to start writing down when you get it normally, so you're prepared and stuff. And don't worry. (:
XOXO
KAT.