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My oldest daughter's biological father lives in a different country and we haven't spoken to each other since I was 19. I am now 30 years old. I let my daughter use my maiden name in her birth certificate but have indicated there who her real dad is. I've been married for 8 years now and my husband has been great to my oldest daughter. My dilema right now is should my husband legaly adopt my daughter so she could have his last name. My daughter sometimes says she is the only one in the family that has a different last name and that she doesn't look like her brother and sister. She already knows that her father is different from her brother and sister and I told her that it is not important that she uses a different name but what's important is how much her dad and her siblings loves her very much. I just wanted to get opinion if it would matter if she changes her last name or not. (link)
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I've known a couple of people who've taken their stepfather's name, and it's worked out great. I've also known people in the same situation who kept their birth names, and it's also been fine. It really just depends on what your family is most comfortable with. Since her biological father is not at all involved in her life, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't at least give her the option.
You do want to be absolutely sure that your husband understands what he's getting into. I'm sure that your marriage is completely stable and happy, but if he adopts her, then he'd still be just as much her father if the two of you ever split up, and he has to be okay with the principle of that.
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Well basically I'm really out of shape. I don't play any sports i don't take dance classes or things like that. And i would like to stay in shape even though it's really hard for me. Does any body know any excersises that i could do over a couple of minutes to keep me in shape? (link)
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Over a couple of minutes? No. Realistically, to get yourself in shape, you want to be a working out for a minimum of twenty minutes, three times a week. But that shouldn't be unreasonably hard to squeeze into your schedule.
My recommendation? Yoga or Pilates. I've always *hated* working out, playing sports, etc., but I started Pilates a few years ago and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Yoga is great too -- a full-body workout that really makes you feel better and more energized when you're done. I'd advise going to a class at least a few times, but it's very easy to find books or videos that will help you do it on your own.
Good luck!
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Ok see here is the problem,I really want a boyfriend but I am afraid I will not get one because i am what some people call gothic and what other people call punk or a skater.I dont know what to do!I really want a boyfriend i feel so lonely without one what can i do to get one without changing who i am or what i belive in? Also i dont like getting rejected i think it is akward. (link)
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It doesn't sound like your problem is the lack of a boyfriend, to be honest. It sounds like you feel the people around you don't appreciate you for who you are. Trust me, a boyfriend is not the magic bullet for that.
If you want a relationship that's actually satisfying, that truly makes you feel less lonely, you have to take a step back. Focus first on making connections with the people in your world. (Why do you feel you have to change yourself to get someone to like you? It's easy to put people in boxes, and maybe they're doing that to you, but maybe you're doing the same thing if you assume they won't like you for you.) Start figuring out ways of getting to know people just for their own sake. Once you get comfortable doing that, you'll find it way easier to get close to a guy you're really interested in.
BTW, I'm assuming there aren't any other goth/punk/skater kids who are prospects for you? People who share common interests, who like the same bands, that kind of thing? Even if not, though, being a goth/punk/skater is only ONE side of your personality. You absolutely shouldn't have to change it if you're comfortable with it, but on the other hand, you should also explore other things about you that are interesting and cool and might help you find a place. Maybe you're a skater who also loves to sing. Maybe you're a goth who just happens to be a kickass martial artist. Maybe you've got the makings of a punk goddess of news reporting. You get the picture. The point is, you bond with people over the things you both find exciting, not just over personal style.
Oh, and as for getting rejected. Nobody likes getting rejected. Because it sucks. It's also not the end of the world, and it happens to EVERYONE (even gorgeous, popular, brilliant people) sooner or later. If you accept it as one of the normal hazards of being human, then it's a lot easier to move past it if it does happen to you. It's a lot less awkward, though, if you don't build up approaching someone into a huge deal. Yes, if you went up to someone and said, "I really, really like you, please be my boyfriend," and he said no, that would certainly be weird and unpleasant for you. On the other hand, if you ask him to come to a party, or see a movie, or do some activity that you both enjoy, and he says no, that's totally his problem and his loss.
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