about

I'm a 19 yr old mainly agnostic ex philosophy student with rather strong views about a lot of things. I'm very liberal, love the diversity I live in in London and hate that America hasn't separated church from state.
I'm engaged to the love of my life, but agree it is a little bizarre to get engaged at 18.
I'm confident, quite literally crazy, caring and crippled. My manual wheelchair is called Sebastian and he gets scared when he goes too fast, my electric is called Jermaine (after the Flight of the Conchords character) and he really does not like ice.
I can read Braille and I know basic sign language because I believe everyone should be given equal chances. I dislike it that money doesn't have Braille on it.
I'll do my best to help out with your situations, I've been in and seen many a family conflict, I've had my fair share or love life crises, I've had about every illness known to man (could tell you a lot of amusing stories about psychiatric wards) and I'm "The Queen of Hair Dye" so hopefully I'll have some idea about advice. If it looks like I don't give lots of advice, it's because I only advise on things I know about. I also detest poor spelling and grammar so although having dyslexia makes me a bit hypocritical about this.

advice

yeah, so all my life i grew up thinking you could get a cold by being cold. but then a few years ago my bio teacher said no, you get colds only from contact with other humans, which is why you seem to get sick more easily in the winter since that's when you're at school and all that. but then my mom firmly believes that it's possible to catch a cold just by getting chilled. soooo wat do u guys think? this is irking me.

I read an article about this and the definitive answer is:
You catch colds from being in contact with the virus, by people sneezing and not covering their nose or coughing and not covering their mouth. However the cold part comes in too. Cold makes the immune system less effective so that when you come into contact with these viruses you are less able to fight them off. Therefore you get more colds in the winter.

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ok so my nipples sting like right in the middle and it hurts especially bad when i move or bounce or soemthing, has anyone heard of this, and what can i do?
any advice thank you!

I would imagine that its probably chaffing, if they get rubbed against things (t-shirts, bras etc) too much they (like any other sensitive skin) will get painful. Stick some plasters (band aids if you're american) over them, should calm them down. If not, they could be infected so go to the doctor.
Hope it helps!

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This might be a silly question, but I just want your opinions.

When is the age that you should (well, not 'should'... you know what I mean) start dating. Like really be looking for a long-term relationships and even potentially a future husband? I've never really dated seriously before, and I would just like to know what a good age/stage in life would be to start looking for a potential husband.

I'm 17 and a half, and I would to get married at 21-22. (I'll be done with college when I'm 21, and I want to have a kid before 24... LOL I know I'm weird).

Well, I never planned to get married or anything like that and at 18 after 4 months of dating I was engaged and really looking forward to spending my life with him.

The point is that as you go through your life you will probably date the same people, if you're looking for a potential husband or not. I think you're more likely to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with if you find someone you enjoy being with.

You can still have that idea in your head but don't forget that dating and marriage are meant to enrich your lives, not be a trial trying to find the right guy.

I hope it all works out for you!

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I'm a worthless human being. I've been a worthless human being for a pretty long time, but I've just now come to accept it.

I've decided I want to die. However, I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. Perhaps it's the thought of pain, maybe it's the risk of failing at failing.

In any case, whatever some (Relatively) painless and (Relatively) reliable suicide methods, preferabley accessable to the common 20-something who doesn't work in a hospital?

Most ways of killing yourself are going to be painful.
I don't necceserily agree with you wanting to kill yourself but I do believe you should have the choice. If you go to switzerland (I believe) Euthinasia is legal and is done by lethal injection which is the most humane way of killing someone.

If you go for that, you will be subject to a mental health assesment, which I would suggest anyway. I know you have accepted being 'worthless' but I would really suggest talking to your doctor about how you feel, even if its for more ideas.

I have suffered from severe depression and I know how it feels to think that you are worthless, but you can come out of it. I know thats not what you want to hear but you only live once and you might as well try to feel better by going to the doctor, and if it doesnt work, you've got nothing to lose.

Also, if its being worthless that you feel, why not do something to feel more useful to society. Volenteer to help people who can't do things themselves. Who can't help themselves. Even if you help one person, I know from experience (I am a wheelchair user) someone who really wants to help you, even if they aren't successful can make someone who needs help so happy just that theres some humanity in people.

If you would like to talk to someone, I'll listen without judging.

Take care, or have a happy end if thats what you choose.

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Hi!

What is a conftorble (but cute) outfit to wear on a long airplane? (About six hours?)

What shoes do i wear? How do i do my hair?

Thanks.

Why not wear something casual like cargo pants, loose but cute, with a vest top and cardigan. Dolly shoes would be good so your feet dont get too hot and you can take them off easily. As for hair, it tends to get all static so just do a simple pony tail so it doesnt look like you've gone to so much effort but it keeps it from being staticy in your face. Have a good trip!

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Hello. So, the right side of my torso has curves. My side is small in the waist and then my hips go out further, so it looks like an hour glass. The other side of my torso is straight up and down like a boy’s torso without any curves or hour glass shape. Why is this? Is there anything I can do to make my left side be more curvy and girly like my right side?

I don't know why this is but would imagine its due to posture and spine shape.
Do you get back pain at all? If so I would suggest going to see a doctor as you may have a scoliosis (wavey spine)
If not I would practice standing up very straight which should even out your posture.
I apologise if this doesnt work and hope someone else can help you get the body you want if I cant xx

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i want to study criminology and get a degree. i was just wondering what letters would go after my name... you know how it's like "jane doe BEc" for economics.

thanks in advance!

I think its Bsc, because its a science degree, assuming that its a batchelors degree, if you do a masters it'd be
BSc MSc
Which sounds quite cool :D

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ok so i think i'm gonna have my first kiss this week and i am soooooo scared so PLEASE help me. seriously PLEASE. i like him alot and i really don't want to mess anything up!!! PLEASE!!!! i just need some good tips so i can relax a little bit. thanks, please help me.

The best advice I can give is kissing and going out with people is meant to be fun, thats the only reason we do it. So don't worry about it, it's not going to affect anything really in your future unless you plan on marrying this person.
Just enjoy it.

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I need some ideas for my boyfriends birthday present. We have been going out for almost a year and Aside from other gifts, i'm going to give him a coupon book. It's going to be like this is good for ONE FREE MASSAGE or one FREE KISS. but i dont know what else to do? The more ideas the better!! Thank you!

Its old school but make him a mix cd/tape of all the songs that describe how you feel about him. Even if he doesn't like the songs he'll appreciate the jesture.
You could write him a list of 101 reasons why you love him.
What about a nice, simple, personalised piece of jewellery? Enscribed with both your initials or something?
If you've got to that stage you might want an evening devoted to his pleasure, maybe do things you dont usually do that he enjoys a lot.
In his birthday card don't just write happy birthday, write how you feel about him and how happy you are to be with him.

Hope you find them useful! Hope he has a great birthday!

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Well, for the past year I've been feeling more and more depressed.

I criticise everything I do/say/think - no matter how small - which almost always makes me feel like a horrible person and a failure. Looking back on the things I have done/said/thought (again, no matter how insignificant they might be), I want to smash my head against a wall or somehow erase it all.

Most days, I wake up morning and I just sit there. I feel I have no reason whatsoever to get out of bed. Whats the point when it all means nothing anyway.

My grades are falling. I have no energy, even after sleep, or desire for the things I used to like.

I find it hard to concentrate and everything seems blurry.

Despite this, I try to act normal around other people.

It's getting to the point where I can't take it..

Sometimes I just want to end it all.. The main thing that has stopped me killing myself is my family and friends; I don't want to make them suffer. I know it's selfish and pathetic..

I don't know what to do any more..
I know I have people to talk to about this s**t, but I'm just to damn scared to do it.
They'll just say I'm pathetic and overdramatic..

What can I do?

I've gone on for to long. Sorry for the rant and for wasting your time.. Thanks for reading.

(17, male.)

You seem to me to have a textbook case of clinical depression, well done for coping so well for a year.
Don't be afraid to go to the doctor for help. You're helping yourself to get better.

I think antidepressents would help, but obviously thats not up to me, its up to a doctor to prescribe them. I don't think a doctor, or anyone else for that matter will think you are pathetic, because you can't help feeling like this.

The main thing is that you need to talk to someone. I would suggest going to your doctor, and then telling a member of your family if you are close to them, if not a friend about your troubles. You need what was described to me as a "safety net" someone you can just say "I'm not safe being alone anymore" to who will help by either being with you or taking you to someone who can give you professional help.

I really hope you take my advice and get better soon. I have suffered severe depression and I know how awful it is. It does get better though. Always try to remember that, especially when at your lowest.

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This is going to sound gross, but I really need some help, because I have a singing test coming up. Ya'll know when you have that mucus stuff in your throat? Well, I know you're supposed to cough it up, but I'm not sure how. Like, if i clear my troat, it comes into the very back of my mouth at most, and I think it'd be too gross to spit that.
It's been like this for a whileee now, and I'd really appreciate any help with this!

It may be gross but it helps your voice! You can kinda suck it out of the back of your throat.
Also what i find useful are things like "throaties" (I'm from england, not sure you can get them outside of here) breathing in olbas oil or similar helps reduce mucas too.
You could also try breathing in steam or hot air. get a bowl of hot water with a teatowel over it and breath in the hot air every other breath. that should help with the clearing.
Hope it helps, it works for me when I need to clear my voice.
Best wishes for the singing test!

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hey there. okay so I have a stomach pouch, its not that big of a deal just a little pouch. im getting my belly button pierced for my 14th birthday and I want my stomach to look really good by june 10th. crunches aren't good for your lower abs, so what simple workout is?

As the person below said, a workout ball, or gym ball would be really good for core muscles (like tummy). They should come with excercises but pretty much anything you do playing with balance on a ball like that is going to strengthen you, so you could like sit on it or kneel on it while watching tv etc and that would help and not dig into your relaxation time.
Also swiming and skipping are good for core strength.
Hope I helped. Also my birthday is june 10th too! 5 years before you but still!

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I just tried on my prom dress yesterday and realized i can't wear a bra with it. so today i got these silicone things that stick on your boobs just for a little bit of support. now the thing is, my boobs are really spaced out ha. sooo is there anyways i can use these things to enhance my cleavage? haha

You may be able to. I would invest in some 'tit tape' basically double sided sticky tape which is meant for these kinds of things. If you stick your boobs to the bra so that the sides of the boobs are.. kinda further inwards if that makes sense, it should increase cleavage.
Hope that makes sense, works and you have a great time at your prom!

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i dont know if i have a chemical imbalance in my brain.. its complicated but is there any way i can get a sample of a zoloft pill or something? to see if itll make me feel better? prob not.. bc youd have to take the pill for a long time to see results, right?

You can't get sample pills because they take a month to have their full effect.
If your doctor prescribes them for you they will moniter you for the first month at least so that is almost like sampling it, so if you find it does nothing you can stop it or try something else.
Anti depressents will only work if you do have the chemical imbalence, some symptoms of this are:
Irritability,
Depression,
Sleep disturbance (too much/ too little/ waking up at 4 and not being able to get back to sleep)
Suicidal/self harming thoughts

I would talk to your doctor about it but if you do have clinical depression, antidepressents probably will help. I have severe depression and have found the meds amazingly effective.
Anything else you want to know, drop me a line, happy to help.
Take care xx

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I'm on birth control and I've had some issues with spotting before but not when I'm nowhere close to my period. I had sex without a condom a week ago. I took my birth control on time. 2 days later i took it 40 minutes late on accident.

is spotting a sign of pregnancy?
I know..get a pregnancy test...but I thought i'd ask before i spend $10.

i just want facts. i do not want a lecture.

I would really doubt that 40 minutes would make such a difference, and spotting can be a symptom of birth control sometimes so I would very much doubt you are pregnant.
Even if you are, a pregnancy test would not recognise it until your first missed period so I would wait until you are next due one and it should come, if it doesn't, then get a test.
Hope it helps, take care :)

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So I've decided to get my bridge, (the space between your eyes) pierced. Look it up on google if my description sounds odd =)
In order to avoid the cluttering that would happen if I got my septum pierced,since I have a monroe. (although, if you think it won't look cluttered I'm still open to piercing that instead of my bridge.)
Do you think that's a good choice?
(i realize some people don't like piercing, but try and jusge unbiasy) Just look at my face shape and see if it would 'go'.

http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y11/Zeilay/?action=view¤t=cofdhjg.jpg
(that's me,lol)

I think either would look good but if you're considering another piercing in the same lip area, why don't you get a vertical laberet. They look amazing.

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19 y/o. I'm worried about not having had a period since before Christmas, I had to change from the normal pill to the mini pill after experiencing a severe migraine (normal pill puts migraine sufferers at the risk of strokes etc), I've always had regular periods on the pill which I've taken for about two years, but when I switched to the mini pill in Dec, I've had no periods. I've been to speak to a nurse about it and she told me it was normal but wasn't very reassuring about it and my mum when she found out completely flipped out and reckons I am ruining my fertility or something. I'm getting fairly stressed out and just need some advise about what to do :(
Thanks so much!

Because the mini pill is taken all the time, it means that often people don't get their period. This is completely healthy and is because of the hormones in the pill.
It's not making your fertility worse, its just how that pill works. Enjoy the fact you don't have to worry about your periods.
I'm on the mini pill due to migranes as well and personally I think its way better than the other one.

If you want to know anything else don't hesitate to ask but seriously, don't worry about it. It's just how it works. Whatever you do though, don't listen to that other person who told you to go back on the other pill. She doesn't know what she's talking about and it could put you at serious risk.
Take care!

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Hi.
I hate my breasts.
well, basically Im top heavy and to be honnest I actually HATE it.
Im a size 14 on the bottom, but because of my boobs which are a size 38D, I have to wear a size 16 to 18 top, and I basically look completly out of proportion.
Is there anyway, I can get my breasts reduced without, surgery...
It doesnt matter if I lose weight, because they stay the same, and then look even bigger.
If anyone has any suggestions, that would be really helpfull.
Moon x

Try a minimiser bra, you can get them from all good department stores, should reduce the appearence of your breasts by 1-2 cup sizes, its not much but its a start.
There are some herbal remedies but I dont know how effective they are.
Sorry, thats all the advice I have,
Hope it works!

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okay..high school classes can be very boring sometimes, as I'm sure you all know..and I suffer from..falling asleep during some of them.

I can't help it. Sometimes..even when I get like 10 hours of sleep, my eye lids still feel heavy..and they droop down..and I feel like sleeping. No matter what I do..clench my butt muscles, pump my veins, drink water..NOTHING works. what can I do to cure this? lol

You could be anemic, I would try taking iron supliments for a few months.
Also try having very strict bed times and waking up times, even at the weekend, and set it so you have exactly 8 or 9 hours sleep, sounds a little unhelpful but trust me, when your body gets into a pattern of sleeping at those particular times and not at other times it will help.
I would also recomend going to see your doctor, you may have a low thyroid problem which he can diagnose, although(esp if you are vegitarian) it is a lot more likely you are anemic.

Another thing is, if you are in pain a lot (growing pains etc) this could be why. I myself suffer very much with pain and as a result sleep 16 hours a day.

If you need any more advice, don't hesitate to drop me a line in my inbox. I really hope you get better soon, I know how horrible it is to have to sleep all the time.
xx

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What do I tell people who keep bugging me about whether I got into my early decision college? I don't think it's nice for people to know about the fact that I applied because I eventually got rejected.. as I knew I would.. :`(

Make a joke out of it, just say something like "Yeahh they couldn't handle my overwhelming genius, it scared them"
Or something equally sarcastic, cos then you're telling them but you're not saying it in a pittying way and it wont be so awkward.

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