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Ok, here's the deal...I'm 13/f and all of the sudden I'm starting to really like my best friend, now I know that's kinda normal but here's the catch. ITS A GIRL! What is wrong with me? This isn't normal or right and I dont want her or my other friends for that matter to hate me, but I just can't make it go away! Should I just stay away from her until this weird feeling goes away? Please, I rate high! Thnx in advance

Nope. You're perfectly normal. At your age hormones are going wild and what not. Teen years are confusing and experimental(I feel old lol). It's natural to develop feelings for friends you're close to, regardless of their sex. It's not abnormal nor wrong. I know it feels weird, it's something new. It might be what others have called a phase, and later on you may 'grow' out of it. Or you might not. Either way, there's nothing wrong with you and there's no reason to stay away from your friend. I'm not saying you should tell her about it, at least not yet. See how your feelings develop or if they change before laying something like that out on the table. And I would say that if it was a guy, too. :)

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Okay, Ive been in this relationship for almost 5 months and Im very much in love with the man I lost my virginity to. I dont know if it'll last long because hes so hard to be with, partly because hes so close to his friends. Their inseperateable and he doesnt realize it but hes alot nicer alone than with his friends around, also we cant drink together because he gets super irritated and acts like a dick and like he doesnt want me around him so I get emotional because ive been drinking and then i become a mess. I love to party and im the happiest drunk ull ever meet, but for some reason when I drink with my boyfriend he destroys that mood in an instant by doing something to make me upset. Funny thing is, he tells me its because he gets more irriated when he drinks hard stuff, but beers okay with him and he says i act stupid when i drink and that he doesnt like it when i drink cuz i get emotional. Well....probably becuz im drinking with him!!! Dont get me wrong, i love him to death i just dont see how its going to work because for once in my life ive come to realize that maybe love isnt enough anymore. I dont like being with someone i see maybe once or twice a week and its always on him whether we see each other or not. Im always the one to call after school and find out from his sister that he left with his friends. I work, he doesnt. Hes 19. Im 17. He thinks that if we care about each other so much that when he goes to college a couple hours away that we wont grow apart and that we'll see each other on weekends, however i know better. I can wake up to reality and see that if we have trouble seeing each other now, being 15 minutes away, how can it possibly work out when hes 2 hours away? And i know what some of you will say..tell him how you feel...tell him you think he needs to hang out with you more often and not his friends. Thing is I dont want him to think im some controlling girlfriend that wants to pussy whip him. One relationship in his life he always talks about is him and this girl lets say named Whitney. And she had him pussy whipped like no other that he blew off his friends for her. That was 2 years ago and after it ended badly he hadnt had a g/f since...until now. And unfortunately his friends mean soooo much to him that he doesnt know how to balance it out and so hes blowing off me for his friends. I find it unfair. Because he cant use something like that as an excuse and I am not going to pay for some dumb bitch's mistake.
Sorry for basically spilling out my lifes story but theres just some issues I have in this relationship and I just am not secure about what i should do. I hope someone has some great advice to help me

Hey,

This reminds me a lot of one of my relationships. I felt the same way. Insecure, like I was being put on the back burner and that everything else was always more important. AND..the WORST..being compared to some ex girlfriend. I agree. You shouldn't have to pay for someone else's mistakes. You are a different person and should be treated as such. But these are his feelings and his insecurities..You can't do anything about them. That's something he needs to let go of and obviously hasn't worked through that yet.

How would you telling him your feelings make you seem like a controlling girlfriend? You've got every right to make your voice heard in a relationship. It's not like you're nitpicking. Feelings are important. If you can't tell him how you feel, then really, you DON'T have a relationship.

Even though it's the last thing you want to do, it's the only thing you can do. Talk to him. If you don't, then you're very pointlessly sitting here completely unhappy and it will no fault but your own. Now...if he can't understand your feelings and he disregards them, then you can say you tried, you made an effort. If your needs aren't being met, there is no reason to stay after you've tried to work things out.

Long distance relationships CAN work...But I'm glad you're seeing the other side as well. If you can't work things out 15 minutes apart, how is several hours going to work? It could...if you bring the current issues to surface and you both work at resolving the problems together

Good Luck!

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I have this good friend who i recently feel head over heels for!!

I talked to him about it, and he doesn't like me, which I'm cool with.
We are still good friends.

But What I need to do it GET OVER HIM.

Any advice on how to do so?!

He told me his friend likes me, which helps, because I've started thinking about this other guy a little, but I keep thinking about the original crush too!!

I really need to get over him.

Hi,

How to get over someone? Oh god, I wish I had a magic answer, I could have used that more times than I could count.

As it's been said...It takes time. Focusing on other things, like school, hanging out with friends, a hobby, anything like that, always helps. Takes the focus off the guy and onto something positive. But one thing I will say...Going after a new guy only helps temporarily. It's like a distraction..And that's it. Do you genuinely like his friend? If you do, I don't see so much harm in it, but you're recovering from a big crush...I'd say give it some time before you pursue this new guy. Otherwise he might turn out to be something like a rebound..And that hurts both people in the end.

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ok im 16 years old and like most girls these days i've already lost my virginity. All the guys around my school know it. And thats all they want from me. Im not the kind of person to do that. I've always had a good rep. i have alot of friends and i make pretty good grades and a cheerleader and a nice person but boys around school dont believe that. They hear one thing and they wont give me the chance to prove them wrong. Now im starting to lose some friends over this. Ppl talk about me bein a hoe and stuff at school and im not REALLY im not. Ive had sex with only one guy and they think im a slut and everything else. How can i get my rep back to the person they knew b4?

Hi,

You can't undo the past. Nor can you really change the opinions of others. People think want they want to think, regardless of what the truth is.


You know who you are, and what you are and aren't. I know it seems so cliche, but that IS the most important thing. If you have to prove yourself to these so-called 'friends', then they were never friends to begin with. Those who love you will still accept you for you, the bad, the good, the really really ugly.

I think we've all gone through a situation like that, I sure know I have. It hurt...I lost some who I thought I could consider friends, but the true ones stuck by my side. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. Keep your head up..And brush it off. What fun is gossiping if they can't provoke you? People lose interest real fast when they don't get a response.

Take care

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I'm a sophomore in high school and sometime during my freshman year, I lost interest in boys my own age (and, for that matter, boys even remotely close to my age) and became interested in men. I was sure that it was a phase that all girls go through but I've found that I can't get over it and I'm totally unattracted to men that aren't at least eight years older than I am. I haven't pursued my interest in older men because I'm aware that I'm underaged and I could get a man into trouble but I feel like this interest is crippling me socially. I don't think I could EVER date a boy close to my age because I'm just not attracted to them but if I'm going to have to wait until I'm eighteen to find someone I'm really attracted to, should I just settle for someone close to my age? Is it normal for young woman to want men that much older than they are?

Hi,

I'd say it's very common. You seem like an intelligent girl, maybe older than your years. When I was your age I was the same way, I could not find any boys my age that I could relate to. I went after older guys(that's the difference, you haven't done that yet, and that's a GOOD thing). Let me say this...While it may seem you can connect better with a man older than you and seemingly more on your level, the truth it, you two really aren't. I'm guessing you're about 15 or 16, and a man in his early-mid 20s wants different things. I doubt you two would share the same values. And that's what will create conflict. And as you mentioned, the whole legal thing can create a HUGE mess. But I'll guarantee you this..There's other boys your age who likely feel the same way as you do. Try joining some school clubs, something you really enjoy. I remember joining an art club when I was in high school, and that's where I FINALLY found a boy my age I could relate to(I swear I thought it was impossible then). And if you don't meet anyone...That's ok too. Give it time. Never settle. Dating someone you really don't like just so you can say you're dating someone is hardly worth it. I'd rather be by myself and happy then in a 'relationship' I never really wanted to begin with. Good luck :)

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