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London, UK

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Age:

18

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June 3, 2005

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Last Update:

September 26, 2009

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I'm a 19 yr old mainly agnostic ex philosophy student with rather strong views about a lot of things. I'm very liberal, love the diversity I live in in London and hate that America hasn't separated church from state.
I'm engaged to the love of my life, but agree it is a little bizarre to get engaged at 18.
I'm confident, quite literally crazy, caring and crippled. My manual wheelchair is called Sebastian and he gets scared when he goes too fast, my electric is called Jermaine (after the Flight of the Conchords character) and he really does not like ice.
I can read Braille and I know basic sign language because I believe everyone should be given equal chances. I dislike it that money doesn't have Braille on it.
I'll do my best to help out with your situations, I've been in and seen many a family conflict, I've had my fair share or love life crises, I've had about every illness known to man (could tell you a lot of amusing stories about psychiatric wards) and I'm "The Queen of Hair Dye" so hopefully I'll have some idea about advice. If it looks like I don't give lots of advice, it's because I only advise on things I know about. I also detest poor spelling and grammar so although having dyslexia makes me a bit hypocritical about this.

advice

I want to commit suicide but I don'twant pain so I want to tak a bunch of sleeping pills I am 14 and a female. About how many do I need to take to die in my sleep? My ffriend that's like a brother to me went out drunk as a fucking skunk to jump off a cliff because he was really depressed and I couldn't stop him no matter what I did. I know it's "not the end of the word" and shit but I don't care! I waited all night and morning and ect but he never got on again so spare me the bullshit about not doing it and trying to convince me not to because everyone knows it doesn't work so spare yourself the energy and help me please.

Taking tablets, whatever tablets, will hurt. Painkillers/sleeping tablets, whatever. They will hurt you as they kill you.
Just cos your friend killed himself doesn't mean you should.

Death is not an easy way out

If the pain is putting you off killing yourself then are you really that set on dying? Doesn't sound like it to me.

i am going to sound rediculously irresponsible, but i promise this is a rare thing for me.

i just graduated high school and am starting college in the fall. like most other grads, i recieved tons of checks from those who i sent graduation announcements. i deposited most of them soon after they were recieved. but a few came later (i believe it was 4, slight chance it was 5). to sum up my story, i went out of town and upon my return, they were no where to be found! i searched everywhere.

now, the problem is, it's been almost two months and i'm wondering what will happen to the people's money or their account if the checks are never cleared (or whatever the term is)? any help is appreciated!

Unless someone else has got hold of the cheques and deposited them, the money will stay in the person who wrote the cheques account. It doesn't come out until its deposited. Hope that helps xx

Hi my name is Heather and I am (15)-(145 lbs)
I have been struggling with my weight for five years. I need to know HOw to tone down. I use wieghts but the more I use I gain mussle mass. I know it is good. I don't want to become mussle women. I just need to know how to tone down my mussles and still lose weight. I am very athletic I run every day, I eat every four to five hours what am I doing wrong.

Try doing swimming, its very very good for loosing calories but not making you all bulky cos its a fairly low impact sport and won't strain your muscles so much as running might in your legs because you are using all your muscles in swimming.
Hope that helps xx

eveytime i use liquid eyeliner i make a mistake because my eyes get shaky especilly my handds too

how do you apply liquid eyeliner perfectly!!??

p.s. ive been using liquid eyeliner since i was 11 so i should be good by now!! i'm 17

If the problem is your hands shaking, try running your wrists under cold water, it stops the shakes temporerily. I dont know why it works but it does, its very useful for when you need unshakey hands!
Hope it works for you xx

so i want to go on a diet, im in pretty good shape right now but the problem is instead of getting leaner, my muscles get bulkier. I heard that if you eat less meat and more vegetable and such it will help make your muscles small while still being strong and eating healthy.
is this true?

thankyou
Kat, 16/f

Its probably true to some extent because your body isn't getting the protien it needs to build muscle, its probably not the best way of doing it.
Instead, to keep muscles toned but not big, do gentle excersise frequently rather than strenuous excersise less frequently. It keeps the muscles strong without building them up too much.

Ok well something has happened and i dont know how to feel. There is this guy but comes off as really immature, concieted, and just a plain jerk sometimes. But when we are alone he seems so sweet.
And he told my little brother, (they are friends) that he thought i was hott and was going on and on about how he couldnt wait to meet me. And when we did meet (he lives in my home state, i reside 6 hours away) he was asking me questions about me like my intrests and my hobbies. But if there were other girls around or his friends it was like i was a burden. And it really hurt. But at the same time it makes me want him more. All i ever tried to do was be friends with him, even though i wanted more. My dad said he is always asking about me and going into my room.
He has a crush on this 12 year old, and he is 16, but he untied her binkini top and it made me mad because this little girl is like my little sister. So i seriuosly wanted to kill him. Because it hurt her so much.
When i was there for the summer i saw him talking to one of our neighbors so i went up and said hi and the neighbor said "your girlfriend is waiting for you tyler." and he said "she isnt my girlfriend, and still she lives in kentucky." and the neighbor started saying if tyler did anything i didnt like to tell him and he would kill him.
Whats going on because i dont know what to feel or what to think or what to do???!!!

I'm not sure I understand the situation fully, but what I would say, is if this guy pisses you off because hes a jerk, if this is to do with liking you or not it doesnt matter, he's still a jerk.

I would leave it for a while, see how you feel after a while. Relationships are meant to be fun, if you don't have fun being with this dude cos he acts like a jerk, then don't go out with him.

If he is so concerened by what other people think about him liking you (shown by him being nice when you're alone and irritating when you aren't) then he isnt worth the bother of figuring out.
Find someone who isnt afraid of what other people think.

Hope it helps.

okay well about this time last year, my adopted cousin tried to pretty much rape me. TRIED! he didnt get very far, because i punched him and threw up. And i dont know how to get over that. Im jaded from it still. How would i react?? If i see him you know. Because they come over and i dont want it to be awkward or anything. I dont know i keep feeling as though i am making this bigger than what it sounds.
help

I don't think you're making a big deal out of it, it is a big deal that he's tried it on with you.
I hope you said at the time something along the lines of "what the fuck do you think you're doing".

If it really still gets to you, tell your parents, however be aware that, while they will almost certainly support you, there will be a rift created within the family.

It may be that your cousin thought it was reciprocal, but it may not cos I dont know what happened.

I do understand what you are going through, my brother abused me, and when I told my family I wish I hadn't because I felt they resented me for making them think badly of their son. My parents have now forgotten about it, and I like it that way. I now get on great with my brother, and have forgiven him.

My advice is, tell people if you need to. It may help to tell someone outside the family first. I wouldn't confront your cousin, I would let the whole thing be, unless of course he tries it again, in which case you should definatly tell people and give him a good old slap or knee where it hurts. Theres no way he should be doing that.

If you need anything else, let me know xx

I was at the Bodies Museum 2nite. It was one of those museums that were very dark but it had VERY bright lights shining on the exhibits. And I was looking at an exhibit for a pretty long time & when I turned around from the exhibit i couldnt see. Everything went black. It took about one or two minutes for me to get my sight back. I got really scared and I couldnt walk so I sat on the floor. I dont know whats wrong.
I dont wear glasses or contacts. Ive gotten my eyes checked many times and my eyes have been fine. But i seriously seen absolutly nothing for a minute or two.

Anyone have an idea on whats wrong?
Or what I should do?

[btw it was a scary expierience]

All eyes are sensitive to light, eyes adjust to bright light, letting less light in so that your retinas don't get damaged.

Eyes take one or two minutes to adjust back to letting more light in so you can see in the dark, what has happened to you is a perfectly normal thing, it happens to everyone. Your eyes are fine.

I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend but it wasnt long. not even 5 minutes because i pushed him off of me. It has been three weeks and my stomach has been kind of cramping, my boobs are sore, and feel swollen. I am due for my period soon..could this just be PMS symptoms? I also took two pregnancy tests, a week apart and they were both negative..so what could it be?

Pregnancy tests don't show anything until about a month after sex, Its a waste of money to take them beforehand cos they dont show anything even if you are pregnant.

There is a possibility you could be pregnant, Especially if you don't usually get psm, these symptoms could point towards pregnancy,

However, Don't worry yourself about it for the moment, theres nothing you can do about it until you get or don't get your period. If you get your period, you're probably fine. If you don't, take another pregnancy test.

Next time you have sex, for however long, always use a condom or be on birth control. If you don't know your boyfriends sexual history, have yourself checked for sti's too.

Okay. I have a 34A bra size that fits. It's maidenform. However, yesterday I went bra shopping and none of the 34A bras fit-neither juniors nor womens. The cup was too big. The one I have now, the band is too tight. But I tried on a 32B and it was comfortable. I tried on a 36A and it was too big in the cup and the band. Any suggestions? How can I be a B when I can't fill in A's. Oh yeah...32A's are too tight in the band.

Cup sizes change from each band size, for example, the cup size on a 32 C would be similar to the cup size in a 34 B and a 36 A. I would suggest getting yourself measured by a professional, as even though something is comfortable, it may not be the right size. I went to have my bra fitted, went in wearing a 34 D, came out with a 30 FF, and after a while of wearing the new size bra, i understand why its better, it hurts my shoulders less and gives me better support. so it is always worth getting measured. Places like BHS or debenhams (if you're from UK) will measure you for free.

Hope that helps!

15/f, Im going to dye my hair red, my dad has approved..But i dont know what dye to use. I want the most permanent dye you can find..I've been eyeing up MANIC PANIC..I don't know what kind to get, for the manic panic site, ive narrowed it down to two:http://www.manicpanic.biz/ct_PRhge10016.htm
or
http://www.manicpanic.biz/ct_PR309389.htm
If you have any OTHER suggestions, please tell me...And if you dont, just tell me if you think the gel will work better or the cream.

Also, If you have any pictures of your RED hair, i'd like to see them, thanks.

Hi, I had red hair for about two years, then used manic panic and stargazer etc for brighter colours so I do know what I'm talking about. Manic panic is not really the best option for long term colour as you have to bleach your hair first, and although manic panic does produce a strong result, it is also good at dying skin. Not fun. I would leave the manic panic/stargazer etc type hair dye until you want to go pink or blue when they are the only options.

Instead, use a Schwarzkopf LIVE colour, their reds are very intense and permenant which is what you want. You dont want to have to re-dye it with manic panic stuff every 2-3 weeks which is how it works out.

I suggest the real red for a very bright shade, or red night for a darker, still intense red.

Hope it looks good!

i need a new myspace headline. currently, mine is "be young, think smart, stay true, and just follow your heart". it's from an ataris song.

i don't want to use "live, laugh, love", but i like that whole attitude- the live-for-the moment, have fun, etc. kind of stuff. my friend has 'hakuna matata', which i love. so, anything cute, short, and simple is fine by me. any ideas?

I found a few quotes for you which are nice, my favourites are starred.

*If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

*Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. ~Palmer Sondreal

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. ~Norm Papernick

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore

Pleasure is spread through the earth
In stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.
~William Wordsworth, 1806

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is a form of courage. ~Holbrook Jackson

*Happiness is the soundtrack of my life. ~Grey Livingston

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour. ~Author Unknown

*Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination. ~Immanuel Kant

What I'm looking for is a blessing that's not in disguise. ~Kitty O'Neill Collins

*Jumping for joy is good exercise. ~Author Unknown

Love understands all languages. ~Romanian Proverb

*Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. ~John Lennon

Courage faces fear and thereby masters it. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think my overall favourite is the first one!

i think i might be a lesbian or bisexual, how can you tell like wat are the signs

The signs are fancying women really. However, if you're young, most people have some feelings towards people of the same sex. I shouldn't worry about if you're bi or lesbian, you've got all your life to find out. At the end of the day, relationships are meant to be fun so just go with your heart and enjoy it.
Take care xx

I ended things with my boyfriend because it was just too serous for the time being (both 14).

& its been a month & ive been pretty much fine. But yesterday & today ive noticed how much i miss him. Theres pictures of him all over facebook, his yahoo status was "do you think about me too somtimes?" & i just wanted to IM him like, yeah i do & i miss you! I havent talked to him in a whole month & i miss him. Any help getting him off my mind? Just logging off facebook & yahoo wont help because in the middle of tennis class i just want to call him. I know if i get over this i can get over the relationship but i just need help forgetting about him. In 2 weeks my closest friends are leaving to camp & me & him will mainly be the only ones left in the city (i have other friends that willbe here to hang out with but theyr not my closest you know?) & im worried if i dont have somthing to keep me away i wont be able to.
Thanks so much!

Talk to him, theres no reason why you can't be friends, especially if you were friends before you got together.
If you were close, it sounds silly but its going to be easier to get over each other with the help of each other, rather than just starving yourself of someone who's been a big part of your life.

Hope it works out xx

I am really under weight and my mum thinks i am bulimic, what should i do>

Eat a diet of cheese and doughnuts?
Seriously though, if you are really underweight you should visit your doctor. Being underweight can cause serious health problems. One of my friends struggled with anorexia and as a result is unable to have children.

So it is serious, but if you haven't been underweight for long then its not as scary.

Go to your doctor, and ask to see a nutritionist who can advise you on what is best to eat to put on weight healthily, and to decide a target weight for you. Your doctor will also be able to check you out for problems associated with low weight.

Hope you're heavier soon!!

hii, im fourteen and female, and like a guy whos also 14. we've never been in the same school and we wont be in the same highschool either and we dont know that many of the same people yet.. excpet for two of our really good friends and thats how we know eachother really .. we really started liking eachother but its becoming hard to see eachother to actually have a relationship and stuff and we've been only texting lately... but we've both also gone away a lot and stuff i the past month so its been hard = \ . he said he really likes me still but it would be really hard for things to work out.. so we agreed when he comes back we'd hang out and see what happens from then.. what are some things i should do to help make this work and maybe even keep him still interested (without seeing eachother as much)? or should i even bother, or keep trying? .. he lives about 20 minutes away from me, across town, and any help would be greatt (:
thankss,

Don't just text, call him up and have a proper long conversation when you can't be with him.
You should be able to see him every weekend?
Webcams are also great for relationships when you dont see each other often, cos you can see their face and talk to them at the same time. Its almost like they're there.

If you miss him when you don't see him, have something of his at your house (don't steal it mind)
I have my fiancees teddy bear at my house, and when I miss him its a really nice reminder that hes there for me.

At the end of the day though, relationships are meant to be fun, and if its too stressfull, then let it go, its not going to be your last.

ok so i have a friend that follows me every where and i dont want to be mean and yell at her but im so close and she hast to do every thing i do like sports wich she isent good at all not to be mean or every thing and sometimes i want to hang out with other friends but shes right behind me im surprised she dosen follow me into the bathroom HELP ME I NEED HELP

Talk to her.

Explain that you love her as a mate, just not in your face every second of the day. Don't be harsh about it though. Shes hanging around with you for one of two reasons, either she thinks you're really cool, or she has no other friends to hang around with.

If its the second, try and help her make friends. Have a group outing, make sure she is included in conversations. Organise a group outing and then say you're ill, then they go out and shes forced to speak to them.

I would suggest just talking to her, say you need personal space. Its understandable.

I'm only attracted to women as far as thinking about them in sexual ways. Mostly when I'm alone. I can't see myself dating one, or even kissing one myself. But, I do fantasize, and I'm definitely confused as a result.

Any advice?

I dont think it matters much if you classify yourself as bi or not.
At the end of the day, sexual experiences are meant to be fun. If you have more fun with a woman or thinking about being with a woman, then yeah you probably do swing a little.

My advice is to live your sexual life (and the rest of it for that matter) how you enjoy it, with women or men. You've got the rest of your life to classify yourself if you still feel the need.

Hope I helped.

So me and my boyfriend will have been together for about two years when his 18th birthday rolls around (beginning of October), and I have no idea what to get/do for him. Last year I had a pretty nice paying summer job, so I was able to buy him an xbox 360 with a game. This year Ive got another decently paying job, so money really isnt an issue. I just want to do/get something special because its his 18th you know?

Any ideas?

1: Why not get hip an ipod or similar (and docking station etc if you want to spend more) and load songs on to it that tell him how you feel about him, and pictures of you two together. A bit like a modern twist on the mix tape.

2: You could get him a photo makeover thing for the two of you so that you get some professional pictures of the two of you together.

3: What about a minibreak/holiday take him to a city he really wants to go to for a few days. It doesn't have to be too expensive.

4: take him to see his favourite band with dinner before/after and a night in a hotel?

5: whatever you get him, you could leave a note or letter for him somewhere in the packaging, telling him how much he means to you.

Thats all Ive got at the moment, hope he has a good one

I have been going to a therapist for a while now and she always says that i show signs of someone who was molested and she really thinks that i was. I do not remember ever being molested, but i just finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. AT the end the main character realizes that his aunt used to molest him, i know that it is only a fictional book but everything in this book was like exactly everything that i am going through. And i guess basically i am just asking if someone knew how to explain to me that someone could forget that they were molested, or if that happens in real life besides just books? or if there is some disorder that makes you like block out a painful memory or something.

It is perfectly possible to forget being molested. I studied psychology and there are many cases of women who have been the victim of a molestation case when young who have absolutely no memory of this when older.

Its a defense mechanism for the brain. It hurts to recollect painful experiences so the brain stops you remembering it.

So it is perfectly possible, but there have been cases where people have been told by therapists that they have been molested and even had memories of the so called attacks etc when its actually been shown not to happen.

So in short, yes it is perfectly possible.
I wish you all the best.

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