I use SuSE. It's happy, it has a lizard and Yast2 and stuff, software is easy to install and so far it's supported all my software, even my bitchin' computer speakers and amazing webcam. I'd definately recommend it.

Awe, now that's not nice, I don't hate men! I just think most of them are worthless anoying pond scum draining humanity and productivity out of intelligent, motivated women all over the world. But I digress. Gay men are alright. They seem to understand women better than their straight counterparts, I'll give them that, and they dress better and treat each other pretty well. And they like to dance! At least, the ones I've met did. Anyway, any man who reads my website and likes it is totally okay in my book, but since you asked, I guess gay men have a better chance of being cool whether they've experienced everything that is spacefem.com or not.

Switch to supplement lozenges. You know, the ones that aren't for a cough or anything specifically, they've just got extra vitamin C and stuff? They're sooo deliciously addictive, I love the hall's cherry flavored ones... mmmm... I need another. It's not bad to be addicted to vitamins, right?

I think there's a special kind of Tide for that now, I saw it at K-Mart. "A Full Scoup Kills Intergalactic Zeplion Sock Spies", is what it says on the package.

You're what? No, you don't understand, you can't be a male lesbians. Do you have the urge to go to gay pride rallies all the time? Do you wear combat boots? Do you like really masculine women? Lesbians are special and unique, you can't be one just because you like women. Guys all think that lesbians exist for one purpose: threesomes. Not so, my friend! You'll just have to accept the fact that you are a boring, straight man.

That should be "your advice sucks".

By all means, hate mail away! And send some ideas for bands for them to play, too. There's no reason to listen to the same dumb stuff hour after hour, I'd be really mad if I only had one radio station cranking Britney Spears 24/7. Tell them you want Dar Williams and you want her now! Or The Tragically Hip (it's pop!) or Ani Difranco. They don't have to be totally weird, but they could at least try. Then campaign to get a public radio station somewhere near you, because those rock.

They're mad about the naming scheme. I mean come on, gray squirrels are really more silvery, red squirrels are actually brown, black squirrels don't even really have a label, they're just freaks. You'd be mad too.

That, and they're rats with tails.

See, people, the crap I have to deal with on a daily basis? Okay, let me break this down for you. Observant people in the world will note that Windows has no mascot, just that crappy logo that tries harder and harder every year to make sense, but still fails. The same people will note that Windows also sucks, it shows that annoying blue screen whenever you ask it to do complicated things like, oh, run WinAmp and read the floppy drive at the same time. Why is that, you ask? Easy: no mascot! So this is why we Linux nerds adopted Tux, the cuddly little penguin of love, for our symbol of greatness.

Oh, damn you random weirdos. Okay, I bought a tootsie roll pop to test it out because here at Spacefem's Planet we go to great lengths to make our visitors happy. Unfortunately, I had to buy a whole bag of them because they wouldn't just sell me one at the grocery store (I tried, believe me) and the bag had all those nasty root beer flavored ones (we at Spacefem's Planet are kinda alright with root beer, but definately not things that are root beer flavored) so I had to find people to give all those away to. With that done, it was easier to find my favorite flavor, orange, and start licking. It took 1,343 licks before I got to tootsie roll. But then I got to thinking that I'd used really short licks, so I got another one (also orange) and just twirled it around while licking, that one took three big long licks. So inconclusion, the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop is undefined, there are too many variables and I don't feel like eating any more.

Peter Pan, either creamy or crunchy. Personally, I buy both. JIF is good too, but a bit pricier, I'm not sure why. Either way you're a winner, alright?

Humans generally do not eat other human for several reasons. First, there is no extra value meal with human meat in it right now. Second, since killing humans is generally unacceptable, only previously dead humans have the possibility of being consumed and they were only a short time ago either old or sick. Who wants to eat that? Finally, it freaks me out.

Well, freaky toe boy, you'd be surprised that quite a few people have toenails resembling celebrities such as Marilyn Monroe, Richard Nixon, and Margaret Thatcher. These famous toenails may one day be displayed in the Smithsonian next to the Wright Brothers' airplane. Until then, you are just a freak. I suggest wearing closed-toed shoes for awhile. And don't go to Graceland- there are crazy people there who would take your toenail before its time.

Since I wear white socks, this is a problem I do not face often. However, I am well-educated in the mysterious phenomenon pertaining to gray socks. There is always the classic explanation: they are eaten by washers. Or the X explanation: the government takes them. Or the Darwin explanation: Some gray socks, being more fit than others, overcome weaker socks. But let me tell a brief story. Once, I put my white socks in the drawer for safekeeping. I was sure that they were paired up upon entering the drawer, but at the end of the week, I reached into the drawer and found one lonely sock. Its mate had vanished into thin air. I was depressed by this, but then I started thinking differently. My sock was no longer to suffer on my stinky feet, or be tossed around in a washer, or stuffed into a shoe. My sock had gone on to a better place. It was, quite possibly, relaxing and drinking with other socks in some sort of sock milksha in the sky. Maybe Americans need to stop thinking of ourselves and start thinking about our socks. They are tired. They are worn. And though we think we can provide the love that a sock needs, this is not always possible. Sometimes, socks must go their separate ways. I have accepted this. And now when I notice that I am missing a sock, I feel almost happy inside. Because beyond this world, I know there is a better place for my sock.

On the abnormality scale (1-10), I would rate you about a 9.5. No, it is not okay, in most cases, to consume human flesh. I guess if the person is really annoying, then maybe. But never walk down the street, pick a person out of the crowd at random, kill them, and eat them. It's wrong. They probably have better things to do than drop a step on the food chain. Eat more chicken.

Mentos are tasty, but I wouldn't encourage them if dental hygiene is your goal. They're too sugary and could rot your teeth. I understand, however, that with the rising costs of toothpaste these days, if can be hard to keep up. When I've got that not-so-fresh feeling, I like to smear some Velveeta on my toothbrush. There are several reasons for this, but the biggest one is just that I love cheese! I think if you try this, your teeth will be shiny and manageable just like mine.

Not exactly, but I guess it depends on your definition of normal in the first place. In my opinion, you need to do some serious research. Catching on fire really isn't that bad in broad daylight with plenty of space around you. I mean, people set things on fire all the time that come out looking even better than they did before! Overcome your fear and set yourself free, my friend. You won't regret it.

I think the whole issue sounds overdramatic on both sides. If I were you I'd try to get her alone and ask how she feels about the situation. Be a good listener. Ask how she really feels about the guy, because it might not be what it sounds like, and she'll like you better anyway if she thinks you care. Good conversation starter if nothing else.

And if nothing works, don't worry about it. Just ignore the social crap going on around you and chemistry away, it'll all work out.

Whatever you sell, make sure it's stuff people want, not stuff they need. If you're selling stuff people need they'll never really be happy after they buy from you, they'll just be like, "Well damn, there's more money I don't have." If it's stuff they want, that's just pretty and cool, they'll be happy because they got a pretty cool new thing. I know this because I worked in a shoe store and it totally sucked, then I worked in a trendy nature store in the mall and it totally rocked.

Yes. Stop hanging out with drama queens.

I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.

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