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I asked a question about the right time to lose my virginity, and I got that answered, so when we are ready, I meen me and my gf, i actualy dont know how to lets say ask if she wants to have sexual intercourse? I really need an answer because we were even shy to express our feelings to eachother. thanks :) (link)
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Well depending on your relationship - talking about it is overrated. Actions speak louder than words anyway - if you two are ready it will just be a explosion of fire and you will be able to tell, but to be honest with you, nothing will ever feel better than the moment leading up to it. Once you do it, sure you'll always want to, but you or she will never get anything back. Think about it, put her body into consideration. No pressure should be put on either of you. And like I said the moment leading up to it is the best feeling in the world. No need to actually rush into things - but if you are totally crazy about doing the deed, make physical advances, be romantic that is KEY! None of this "wham-bam thank you mam!" crap. Take it slow, be loving, hug, kiss whatever the hell kids do to make out these days etc... and the more you advance, read her body language, if she's not ready she will pull away or seem distant or she might even tell you to stop. There are so many things to make a woman come undone, but I don't even know how old you are... Hope this helped you out?
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15, female.
This guy and I are considered 'a thing', at the beginning of our thing, I made it clear I wanted a relationship. He wanted to wait a bit, until we were ready to be a couple. We have become really close, his family are like my second family but I have waited nearly 7 months now..I confronted him about my dislike for the situation as it has been 7 months and we aren't dating.. He said he had nothing to say about it. At the end of the school day, he didn't even bother saying goodbye to me, when we always do. He avoided me that night. Then today I sent him a message, telling him that I was upset by the way he treated me. He replied saying something along the lines of 'You are desperate, I don't want a relationship'. well maybe if he just said that at the beginning and didn't lead me on and tell me he loved me all time then that would be fine, but no. Its like we have broken up when we weren't even dating.. What should i do?! Ignore him? Talk to him on monday, sort things out? Or am i the one in the wrong? (link)
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As bad and poor judgment as it may sound - play games. To see if you can perk up his jealous side. If he doesn't want a relationship don't give him one. Become open to other people. Also by the way this guy sounds, he seems like he thinks he is too good for you. He doesn't sound like he is the one if he blatantly said to you he doesn't want to be in a relationship - it's another way for a guy to say "I want to hook up with you...and a bunch of other girls..." or guys, but aside from the point, try and give him someone to miss. Be sexy, be flirty, be fun and don't include him. Show him you are capable of being a person full of depth without him and that you aren't the same person - but show him that you can be that person without him, the ideal thing here is if you really want him - make him want you in return. The power of seduction is incredible and men, like fish, bite every time. If you are no longer interested in his chauvinistic attitude - act as if he no longer exists. Men don't process arguments that deal with long explanations or emotions. They are "yes" or "no" creatures and when there is a problem they will only try to solve it but it seems like he's solved it already by making his statement to you. Good luck.
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I have an elderly neighbor who feels that he needs to dictate what everyone does with their property. Once he tried to have my truck towed because he didn't like it parked on the street. Now he called the city inspector out to look at a car under my carport. It didn't have up to date tags. I'm on a budget and expecting my first child in Sept. So yes, I didn't update my tags but thought the car would be fine under my carport on private property. This man has been a bully for years to other neighbors. How can I deal with this ignorant man? (link)
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As difficult as it is sometimes - try to have compassion. Maybe he is cynical because he's had a hard life. Try getting to know him, bake him a diabetic pie (so he can't complain about sugar) or offer to help him with yard work our odd jobs. Show him you are a good person, ask him for advice for how you should make your lawn look, or certain aspects of your property. Be kind and compassionate to him. I am unsure of his situation, but so are you and possibly everyone else. Instead of making assumptions and both of you dwelling in misery from one another, try to get to know each other, and be compassionate or at least know how to act considerably with one another. Positivity always beats negativity in the long run. Good luck.
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My fiancée is amazing or so i thought i fought him texting girls saying he wanted to fuck them and be with them but at the same time he said to them i love my woman tho ill never leave her what should i do we been together for three years hes talked to everyone with a vagina lol im sad lonely and wanna die i know he wont cheat but i cant get over the hurt he wont even admit to talking to anyone idk what to do i love him (link)
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I must disagree with the other answer to this question. Instead of just taking it as "All men do this, so it's ok..." approach what you should try is to spice up your relationship. Men are like dogs, not to sound rude, but they can be trained - as long as you are suiting their needs and wants. Perhaps ask your man what he wants in the relationship that might be different Sometimes men will go through this if they've become bored with the relationship as sad as it is. Be open with him, explore with him. Make him see what he would be missing if he ever did screw things up. Make him want you more. Try changing things up in the bedroom, give him massages, make him a sandwich, seriously catering to your man will make him happy - which will make you happy in the long run. I don't know your living situation but I will assume he works hard. Even if you work hard as well, never fail to recognize how amazing he is. The whole point is to make him fall in love with you all over again, and maybe make cell phone/computer rules. If you don't go on your cell phone, or the computer around him - let him know it would mean a lot to you if he reciprocated the favour. Then at least you won't have to see him "sneak" texts. Also, gain his trust by leaving your cell phone out, your facebook open etc.. a relationship is a two way street and what you put out into it, you will get from it. :) Good luck.
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My boyfriend (27) and I (22) have been dating for about 2 years. A few months after we started dating, I discovered he was addicted to pain pills. He confessed this to me after he had been going through withdrawals for a couple of days and I could clearly tell something was seriously wrong. After a couple of weeks drug-free, he began to feel better and I even noticed a change in the way he acted because of how great he felt.
About a year after that he told me he was having issues again. He was back to spending hundreds of dollars a week on pills and he decided to get help. He went to a clinic that basically prescribed a drug that would help him with withdrawals as long as he checked in a couple times a week and had a clean urine sample. He was doing great until his doctor told him that he would need to start seeing a counselor as part of their program. He told me that he wasn't like those "other addicts" and that he didn't need counseling. I told him he was in the same place as them for a reason, but he said he just needed the medication to help with the withdrawals and he'd be fine. When he ran out of those, he did in fact seem to be doing okay. However, I told him since he wouldn't put in a sincere effort to do what was asked of him then I would have no choice but to leave him if he starting using again. I had been in a previous relationship with an addict and I knew for my personal mental health I couldn't go through that again. He seemed to be doing okay though, so I quit worrying. For about a month.
I found out he was getting pills again. I broke up with him; not because I wanted to but because I knew I couldn't just threaten to do something and then not follow through. I felt like I'd be enabling him. He explained that he only got them again because his back had been hurting really bad from work, to which I responded that most people don't have a dealer that they can just call up to score pills from any time their back hurts, and that he knew better than to think it would "just be this once." We eventually got back together, because he said there really was nothing to worry about and since I love him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to stick with him. I know addiction isn't a choice and I don't believe leaving him will actually make things better.
A week ago he told me he found a bottle of phentermine in his mom's medicine cabinet and that he took one to see what it was like. Usually those aren't really his thing but I know they're addictive and I was LIVID because I feel like it was just so careless of him to chance something like that when he knows his history. He said it was only once and he wouldn't do it again, especially since the pill didn't even make him feel very good.
Then yesterday, I saw that he was texting his dealer. He left the room, and I was overcome with anger so I decided to read the messages. He had planned to go get some oxys per usual and then asked if she had any phentermine, to which she said that she did.
Today he came home from work late. I looked in his truck and found several oxys and a phentermine. Obviously he's been lying, and it makes me mad that he pretended to not even like those pills when he was in fact, asking for MORE. I realized he had been lying about several things: he said a guy at work was telling him about how he took phentermine and it have him energy then coincidentally his mom happens to have some in her cabinet? No, he just didn't want me to know he was in touch with his dealer.
I'm so mad at him for lying but at the same time I'm upset and worried because he has had 2 friends die from overdosing on pills and both of them were doing less than he does. I don't think he's currently doing as many as he used to, but he is still doing them.
I don't want to leave him. He still continues to be a wonderful boyfriend, a hard worker, and still has the same funny, silly attitude. But he's struggling with a serious addiction and I don't know how I can help. I feel like if I stay, I'm telling him that he can continue living life as though his addiction is not something he should try to overcome. He can keep me and the pills and everything will be fine. However, if I leave, I'm not sticking with him through a hard time in his life and that's not the kind of person I am nor do I want him to feel alone in this.
How can I deal with this situation? I'm sick of the back-and-forth. I know his addiction will be a lifelong battle but I refuse to accept that this is just how it's going to be. I know he can lead a sober life. (link)
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Here is a great exercise to do: make a PROS and CONS list, but here's a little trick... Make PROS and CONS for "CHANGE" and "NO Change". I usually make a box with two rows and two columns and put "CHANGE" on the LEFT SIDE of the FIRST box and "NO Change" at the LEFT SIDE at the SECOND box (It doesn't matter how you write it out it just works better for me to do the "calculating"). Next write out all the PROS for "CHANGE" IN the first box, all the CONS for "CHANGE" IN the box on the RIGHT ("CHANGE" being whatever you want - leaving the relationship, your boyfriend getting the help etc...) then write all the PROS of "NO Change" IN the box beside "NO Change" and all the CONS of "NO Change" IN the box on the RIGHT ("NO Change" being the opposite of whatever you put as "CHANGE). Next step: RATE each of the PROS for "CHANGE", and each of the CONS for "NO Change" all together from important to least important (1 to 4 - one being not important and four being of high importance). RATE each of the CONS for "NO Change" and each of the PROS for "NO Change" by the same rating system. Last step: ADD each of the rates together. Whichever number is larger should give you a hint. I hope you can understand my poor instructions...I seek counselling for anxiety and my counsellor taught me this trick. It helps me face my problems head on and make the right decision no matter how hard it is...Nevertheless DO NOT FORGET WHO YOU ARE. Always please yourself and put yourself first, we live with OUR decisions in the end. Make yourself happy.
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