HI!
My name is Tiffany (my friends call me Tipher) and I am a married thirty-smoething with child. (there's 2 bad sitcoms all in one lol). I've been around a little and am ready to answer even the hard quesitons...no poking fun or anything, just my absolute honest opinion and advice.
Gender: Female
Location: Anaheim CA
Occupation: in tansition
Age: 35
Member Since: February 8, 2005
Answers: 28
Last Update: February 14, 2005
Visitors: 5673
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First of all thanks to everyone who helped answer my first question
my girlfriend is being a little cold to me lately and i'm not sure why. i mean she might be doing it just to tease me or because she's trying to break up with me. we also haven't talked in a while since we have both been so busy with school. i'm not sure what to think. i know that valentine's day is coming up so she might be doing it just for fun or she wants to make me dump her. i dunno what to think. Please Help!
Thanks!
Confused Boyfriend (link)
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first, ask. If she tap dances around or something, then you may need to push the issue a little until you get a real answer. (Just for the record, "I don't know" and "you know what you did" are NOT real answers).
second, girls that do things like this to "play games" are not worth the time and trouble. Don't contimue to feed these "games" as they only lead to problems.
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My husband and I were talking the other day and he said that if he died he would not want a funeral. I was shocked. Of course he should have a funeral, it's a great way for family and friends to say goodbye. I feel it is more for the family of the deceased anyway. He disagrees, and is shocked that I would not respect his wishes. Who is right here? And if he did die, what are we as a family suppose to do? I would like the love and support of my faamily. (link)
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You should respect his wishes. It is essentially his "last request" as it were and to disrespect his wishes means that what you want outweighs what he wants. Your families may be shocked but consider what he wants. Has he told you why? Have you asked or did you just light into him and tell him his opinion was wrong (as a side note, an opinion is NEVER wrong-just different). He may have a good reason for his beliefs. I personally agree but I was raised to remember the deceased as they were, not all made up in a coffin. It's creepy.
I have had several friends and family die and respected each as they believed: some had wakes and funerals and I attended to pay respects, my paternal grandparents donated their bodies to science (to reduce expenses for family and to do one last good deed) and had no memorial-I made a personal observance and got on with mylife remembering them as they were. The point is, to each his own and disrespecting beliefs is what get us into trougle eventually on a global scale. Is there some way to come to a compromise? Maybe no funeral but a memorial servied for friends and family or an Irish wake? Maybe he deosn't want to burden youwith arrangements and expenses. Maybe he wants to be remembered pleasantly, not with mourning. Maybe it is just how he was brought up. Try to discuss this in a rational, mature way that ends in a compromise. avoid shouting, accusing, and pushing your opinsions on each other.
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Right I have a christian friend who is like really serious about it, and I some times feel like she is constantly trying to convert me when I've told her that I'm not like her i'm not like a church go-er and it's just i've been bruoght up in a different way to her. I don't want to offend her but can any one suggest ways of making it clear that i don't believe half of what she's saying. (Thanks alot, i rate high!) (link)
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The Christian faith in part is built on acquiring converts (check you history). One of the beliefs is that everyone must "know Christ" in order to gain entrance to heaven. You may or may not believe in Christ or heaven. That is your business. But understand that her beliefs are as deep as yours and she is doing what she believes is a good thing. Discuss the issue with her in a rational, mature way including your own belifs and try to let her see that you are different but is doesn't have to split you apart. If you can't discuss religion rationally, stop the conversation and tell her that you value her as a friend and if it makes her feel beter, she can pray for you but that it would be better for your friendship to just leave religion out of the "safe topics" category. If she values your friendship, she will agree and you can move on to safer topics until you can approach the topic with more maturity. Often, people can learn from each other about their respective differences and it can deepen a friendship. There may come a time that you will seek out her advice about her faith in an attempt to reach your own conclusions on God, the cosmos, and afterlife. It is clear that you are not ready yet and she should respect that. There is nothing wrong with that.
I have learned that it is hard to have differences of faith with people whoe believe strogly but it can be done. (I grew up Jewish in a predomiately Protestant area and my husband is Catholic..it really can be done!)
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The blooms on my amaryllis have faded. What do I do now to promote re-blooming? (link)
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start by pinching the old blooms-this triggers hormones that tell the plant the it is time to grow more in order to make seeds. Check your soil and light requirements and what soil the plant is actually in. It may be that the soil mix needs tinkering with or that there is no more nutrients in the soil. Also check to see if the pant is rootbound (has outgronw the pot). If so, pot up into a lager container-use something that has a hole in the bottom and fertilize, fertilize, fertilize.
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I tried once to grow herbs, but nothing happened. Then I heard about this method of putting a small plastic baggy over them to help keep them warmer and keep up the humidity. The problem is, when I tried to wean them off the baggy's, they all died! Could anyone tell me what some good beginers herbs are, and how to take care of them? Please? It would mean a lot tro me, because I am a vegetarian and like organic food, especially herbs for pasta. Thank you! (link)
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First, where are you buying your plants? If you go to Lowe's or WalMart, you are getting plants in "potting soil" which contains absolutely NO SOIL WHATSOEVER!!! Most herbs are Medeterranian in origin, so you need a sandy soil mix to help drainage. Also, check your daily sunlight and heat. Remember, these plants like warm to hot sunny places. Humidity is not so much of an issue but if you intend to winter them indoors, they DON'T like to be cold. Get out you phone book and start with a reputable greenhouse or nursery that grows their own plants from seed-do NOT buy forced hothouse plants!!!These are just going to croak. Any good nurseryman will know the suitable habitat, light, and soil requirements for each plant. Lavender and sage are good, hardy herbs to start with as is basil-and if you winter them indoors or live somewhere that stays warm, basil will continue to live. Mints are very hardy and come in a variety of flavors (lemon, peppermint, spearmint, etc) that are great for teas and sachets. Herbs like rosemary and thyme are a little fussier so get the hang of it on some hardier plants first. Also, invest in some good terracotta pots. They allow the roots to breathe and absolutely don't pot anything in a container that doesn't have a drainage hole (the roots will rot...dead plant). If you have any questions, pleasse don't hesitate to email me! fireant30@hotmail.com I can give you my personal dirt recipes and share any other planting info I have to hand. (I spent 4 years working in a greenhouse that did 100% in-house growing. I may have a few trade secrets that would help.)
Good luck and happy planting!
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I am a 23 year old mother to an 11 month old son and I am still breastfeeding him. I am slowly introducing him to cow milk but he won't be ready for that full time for a month or 2 or 3, who knows. I love breastfeeding but am just about ready to be done with it even though I will miss being a size 36 C. The only thing I won't miss is going back to an A or B bra. I love the closeness and the bond my son and I share from it, but now it's like he's older so it's more annoying now because he is so clingy to my chest area not just to eat but for comfort. He eats 2-3 meals a day of baby jar foods and he loves little finger foods and he drinks juice but will not drink anything but that and breastmilk. He eats really well, but when he wants to be breastfed he gets so fussy and demanding and he puts on this really moody act wherever I am. I am sick of having to whip out my boob when I am with friends or family now. Not just because of how they look at me like, "you're still breastfeeding him?" but also because I am now annoyed by it, I want my freedom back. The problem is that my boyfriend works 2 jobs, he is on his feet from 6 a.m. until 1 a.m. 4 1/2 days a week and it is really important that he gets his sleep at night. Now we only have a 1 bedroom apartment so I need to keep my son quiet at night, so how do I do that? I breastfeed him all night long. It is hard to put him in his crib and keep him sleeping. I am still waking up with him at all hours of the night like he's a newborn!! Although I love to cuddle with him and wouldn't mind sleeping with him a little here and there I am sick of sleeping with him ALL of the time. I want to stretch out again and sleep for 8 hours at a time, not a 1/2 hour to 4 hours only. We are not getting a 2 bedroom apartment until April 1st, and believe me when that time comes things are so gonna change. But what do I do in the meantime? I can't afford formula, nor does my son like it. I heard something about mixing evaporated milk with organic milk until he is ready for full time cow milk. Does anyone have any suggestions? I want my son to become independent from his mommy's breast now. I'm afraid it is only going to get harder to keep him from wanting it the longer he stays attached. Urgent help, advice and suggestions are wanted A.S.A.P!! Thank you. (link)
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First, I applaud you for making it to 11 months! My daughter outpaced me by 5 weeks! Byebye boobs. BUT...I learned the merits of cereal in her nightime bottle as soon as she was ready. She began to sleep longer each night. Usually start with a tablespoon or two mixed well in the bottle (by this time she was on formula but I also added it to breast milk) and work up to the consistency of a milkshake. It gives their little tummies something to really work on and sticks with them longer than full liquids. You should also try an electric breast pump-much better! The only caution is that once he starts getting teeth, any sugars in a nighttime bottle can be bad for those new teeth.
Next, the clinging. My husband rescued our daughter every night (to let me sleep-I worked) and brought her out to the living room. At two, she was ENTITLED to get up every night and how DARE we not do so! Stop that behavior now before it gains a life of its own! I'm not saying that comfort is bad but it can turn into terminal clinging and problems way down the line. Mine is 4 now and independant as all get out, partly because I didn't give in to the whining and clinging...at least not every time. I also snuggled at odd times throughout the day when she didn't demand it to let her know I am always there.
Finally, just because you are now somebody's mom doesn't mean that you should lose your entire life. Do you have snybody that would babysit for you to get an hour or two of peace? Maybe just to have a long bubblebath or do the grocery shopping unencumbered. Start with somebody he knows and trusts, maybe for an hour or two at first and then work up from there. Being a mom is hard work and we all deserve fome "me time" once in a while. This will aldo help him assert his independance and learn that though you may not be there every second, you will always turn up. You don't need to "cut the apron strings" now, but let them stretch some.
I wish you the greatest luck-it's a rough job but also packed with rewards!
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So my mom and my dad fight constantly and they are kind of alcholics...I always find myself crying myself to sleep and wishing that i had different parents...But neway..one night my dad locked me and my mom out of the house and it was so bad that my mom had to call the police on him....I have never done nething to my dad to make him treat me this way....This may sound horribe but im actually terrified of him...What should i do...please i need advice really bad bcuz this is something that has been bothering me for awhile and i never really had the guts to talk to ppl about it......HELP! (link)
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WOW. That really takes me back to my childhood. I have been there and sometimes I wonder how I got out. The thing is, there is nothing you can really do to change their behavior. Until they see that they need help, they won't seek it. What you need to do now is to try to minimize your part in the household drama. Find someone that you can talk to in order to get that poison out of your system. Allow yourself to see that there is another way for you. Best of all, dig in and don't let it drag you down. Set you sights on a brighter future and grab for it with all you have. It is up to you whether you repeat this cycle or break it. I speak from experience that breaking it is hard but worth the battle. If need be, find a friend or relative that you can stay with every once in a while to give yourself a break. It sounds like you really deserve it. Look into extracirricular activities that you enjoy to keep you out of the house as much as possible. In doing so, you may find an area where you really shine and that is the greatest boost for yourself there is. Hang in there and best of luck.
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hi i have a 3 yearold daughter but latly she been out of control she dont listen she is very bossy she wont potty train she hits throws things around gets into everything what can i do to help with all of this everyone is getting mad cuz she is not potty trained yet ive tryed pottys and the adult toliet but nothing works ive tryed soap and spankings and took her toys away but nothing is working can someone help me
liz (link)
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The most important thing in discipline is consistency. If an item is off limits, it is ALWAYS off limits. The most important thing to remember is not t o let her wear you down. I know htis is hard (believe me-been there, got one) but you have to stick to your guns. And that includes anyone else who cares for her (Daddy, other family, sitters, daycare, etc.) I have found that positive reinforcement is also a good motivating tool. Point out the good things she does and praise them...often. Tell her and show her the difference between good and bad in words she understands. Good deeds reap rewards, bad deeds reap punishment. The potty training thing is a little more tricky. Every toddler is an individual. Mine was walking at 8 months (woe be to the cats!) and had an extraordinary vocabulary that defied "The Books" but didn't potty train until she was 3 1/2. ONce she decided it was time, it took about a week! The point is, she will not do it until she is good and ready and no amount of bribing, punishing, wheedling or cajoling will change that. If it goes on past about 4 or 4 1/2, consult her pediatrician but for now, just sit tight. I promise that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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