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me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago. and i just got a new boyfriend a few days ago and i like him a lot. but my ex boyfriend called me lastnight and told me how much he wanted me back and missed me and i just dont know what to do. he treated me bad but i still love him and care about him and dont know if i should be with my current boyfriend. being held by him just doesnt feel the same but i know if i go back to my old boyfriend that nothing will change. can somebody please lemme know what to do?

Sounds like things with your ex-boyfriend aren’t going as planed since he dumped you.


Consider the following things:


1) What are the chances your ex will just dump you again and/or treat you badly again?

2) If you like you new boyfriend “a lot” than why would you think about going back to your old boyfriend?

3) You don’t know if you should be with your current boyfriend, so what makes you think you should go back to your old one that dumped you?

3b) “being held by him just doesn’t feel the same”, which could be, because he’s not the same guy right? Also, does that mean it doesn’t feel good when your current boyfriend holds you?

4) How do you think your current boyfriend feels about all this?
(Even if he really likes you, he probably won’t stay around if you’re even just thinking about going back to your ex-boyfriend.)

5) Maybe your current boyfriend isn’t right for you and instead of looking for someone new, you’re being lazy and too easily tempted to go back to someone familiar.

6) “i like him a lot”, versus, “i still love him”, sounds like you’ve already made your choice, you ‘like’ the new guy, but ‘love’ the old guy.

7) The more time you sit around trying to decide the more likely you will lose both of them.

8) Either accepts that your ex is part of your past, or that your current boyfriend is not part of your future.

9) Ask your friends who know your ex and/or remember how you felt when you were with him. (Sometimes our minds play tricks on us and we remember being happier than we were.)

10) Seriously ask your ex-boyfriend what made him stop loving /missing you when he dumped you and think about the chances of that happening again.

11) Do NOT cheat on your current boyfriend with your ex!
(If you want to go back to your ex then so be it, but don’t play head games with your current boyfriend. You can’t have them both.)

11b) If you stay with your current boyfriend, it should be because you love him and not just because you fear that you will be dumped again by your ex-boyfriend.


Hope you make a decision soon, for your sake and theirs.

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14/male

There's this girl I really like. We'll call her "B." I know some people said "true" love isn't real for teens, but I can feel that I love her. I have since I met her.

Well, she's a few years older than me, and she's dating this guy I haven't really enjoyed being around in the past. I wrote B a letter, but I signed it "Your Secret Admirer." It basically says stuff about how I love her, and things like that. But, I haven't had a chance to sneak it into her backpack or whatever.

The thing is, I think she might sorta like me, but I'm not sure. Should I sneak the letter into her backpack?

Thanks,

-Fyce

A girl is probably more likely to give you a better (shorter and to the point) answer than me on something like this, but I'm going to try anyways.


Personally, I think you should ask her in person if she likes you. While giving her a message signed 'Your Secret Admirer' may flatter her, it won't do much else. Now I know that the whole reason you probably decided to go with the anonymous message thing is probably because you're too shy and/or worried to confront her directly with your question, (partially because I've been there and I know it's easier said than done, to walk up to a girl and ask her that), but I think you got to do it.


Why do I say such things? Think of it this way, put yourself in their shoes, how would you feel about getting a 'Secret Admirer' letter? I'm sure at first you get the whole flattery thing like, 'alright someone out there likes me', but then what? You'd probably wonder why they didn't ask you to your face and wonder if there is something wrong with them (even if it's nothing more than just being too shy). Would you want to go out with someone who is too shy to even ask you if you like them? The answer might be maybe, but it probably wouldn't work out in the end either way, because if there is one thing that there is never enough of around in guy's (especially your age) is confidence.


While it is possible that you feel love for her, no offence to you (mostly because I don't really know your situation), it's probably infatuation. Even if it's not, and you really are in love with her, what's the point if it's no mutual? Your best bet is to let her to know straight to her face that you are interested in her and wondering if she is interested in you. This way you can see her expression as she hears the news/message, rather than you having to wonder by her reply etc, how she really felt about it. Also I think while everyone enjoys a bit of mystery, with a rise of crazy stalkers in the media today, etc, it's nice to know who is behind the words. Tell her how you feel in person and I suggest NOT saying that you love her, because if she's not dating you right now and is dating someone else, she probably doesn't realize that you do and would wonder how you feel so strongly about someone (herself), who doesn't know exactly how they feel about you.


So ask her in person so you don't come off as being timid and don't be too affectionate with your words so you don't come off as being too strong.


If you're worried about confronting her because you're worried about rejection, then you probably shouldn't even send her the letter, because as long as you are fearing rejection, you are just going to put yourself down, (especially if she doesn't feel the same way).


If you're reason for not confronting her is because you worry that if she doesn't feel the same way it might ruin your friendship with her, then maybe it's not a risk to take.

Overall, you're 14, you'll make tons of mistakes, if it makes you feel any better I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 21, (scary I know). The best thing is to take friends and family's advice for what it's worth and make your own decisions and not let others make them for you. So if you actually took the time to read this ramble, take it as it is, a suggestion, not a fact or a must, decided what you want to do.


Good luck, and whether or not she feels the same way, I hope you learn something.



Wes's Dating Rule #123214:
Never call a girl up on a Friday after school and ask her out and then not talk to her the next week at school because you're too shy to talk to her when she's around her friends. It will never work out.

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What comp program is best for making xanga and myspace layouts (well mainly the banners!) i use paint shop pro 11 now and for the most part it makes generic crappy banners but i want to be able to make grafics like on here: http://www.createblog.com/layouts/preview.php?id=9933

or like on here:

http://www.createblog.com/layouts/preview.php?id=9816

i like the way the brushes are and stuff on here and i can never do that. at most mine look like this:

http://www.createblog.com/layouts/preview.php?id=9325 (notice no layer or cool grafics)



ive heard adobe is good but there are so many of them which kind?

and where can i download a free trial or whatever? downloads.com doesnt work for me!

I personally use some Adobe products and while I don't use Paint Shop Pro, I know that like most Adobe Products, there are quite a few Paint Shop Pro tutorials out there. For example try entering:

"Paint Shop Pro" AND tutorials

...in Google's seach engine, etc.


As for the Adobe products, I'm sure you can download trials of their programs from their site (www.adobe.com), but be prepared to wait a while to download it/them since they are large programs (large file sizes, etc). Now to find out which Adobe product (/program) you want to use, your best bet is too look at the product details on their site.

It sounds like you want to focus on using either Adobe Photoshop (http://adobe.com/products/photoshop/main.html), or Adobe Illustrator (http://adobe.com/products/illustrator/main.html).

So like I said before, you're best bet is to look at the info on them there, but I'll give you a quick, very non-detailed description of the two Adobe products.

Adobe Photoshop: Photo effects/ manipulation, (bitmap graphics based)

Adobe Illustrator: Layouts (single-page layouts), illustrations, (vector graphics based)

For the difference between vector graphics and bitmap graphic look at this link:
http://graphicdesign.about.com/library/weekly/aa042398.htm, (there are many links out there for example, so keep looking if this doesn't explain it well enough for you).


But before you take the time to sit around and wait for a trial of one /or both of these Adobe products to download (and then have to familiarize yourself with their interfaces), look/search for online tutorials for Paint Shop Pro and see if you can find out what you want to do from them.

Here, I'll start you off with two I found when I searched for

"Paint Shop Pro" AND layout tutorials

http://www.corel.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=Corel3/Section/Display&sid=1047024315119&gid=1047024331836&cid=1047024353448

http://www.pixel2life.com/tutorials/Paint_Shop_Pro/All/


I hope this helps you and good luck.

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