khadiya's advice column

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Q: 15/F
OK, so I just got my period today and I have a yeast infection. ((!!!!)) My mom said that if I don't have itching inside my vigina I shouldn't put the cream in it. So I'm not.

What stinks is I'm going to the Lake of the Ozarks with a friend and her family and mine.

So my question is...can I use a tampon?? since I just started???

And will it hurt?

thanks so much!!

yes you can use a tampon. And if you insert it right no it wont hurt. Try reading the instuctions that come in the box. And if it hurts when you put it in try it again with a new one.

Q: Hey khadia

I got an huge issue now.. I talked to him via msn and he said:

Mona says: what did I do to lose that trust?
N Sharma says: i dont think i ever did
N Sharma says: when i walked into that coffee shop
N Sharma says: saw you
N Sharma says: i thought this girl can be the one
N Sharma says: by the end of the night
N Sharma says: i didnt feel the same

I asked him if I cud meet him in person to clear any missunderstandings he said I'll try.. he said tonite he is seeing some friends and tomarrow too and saturday hes going to a wedding I said how about tomarrow before you go see your friends he said i'l try. I said well I would appreciate it if yoiu can try.. he said Ok.. like I dont get it.. maybe I gave in too easily SEX wise or the fact that I was really shy while with him. I dunno. He wont give me a proper response and I dunno wat to do. im going crazy here.. arrrrghh help me plssss.. can I call you and talk to you about this.. plsss

How is everything going??

Q: I've had my period for about 6 years now, and this whole time it has never been regular. I get it pretty much whenever it feels like coming, twice a month, skip a mont or two, get it for 2 weeks straight.... It's ridiculous. Ontop of it being irregular, I have the WORST PMS, terrible cramps to the point where I can't stand up straight, the WORST mood swings and so many aches and pains.

My doctor had suggested for me to go on birth control to make my period come on time, and to help with my PMS. I talked to my mom about it, and she doesn't want me to go on birth control because she says it's not safe. I even had my doctor sit and talk to her about it but she won't let me go on it. She says that it means I will start having sex and that she doesn't want that happening.

However, what she does not know, I have been sexually active for about 2-3 years now. I haven't been recently because my boyfriend and I broke up, but I do use a condom.

My question is how can I get my mom to let me go on birth control? Or, how can I go on it without her knowing about it? I know I can go to Planned Parenthood, but I don't know how I'd be able to get myself there because I don't have a car of my own, and I just moved to a new state and I don't know ANYONE.

I really want to go on it, my period is out of control and I DO want to protect myself more when I become sexually active again. Any suggestions?

How would your mom react if you told her that you were already sexually active??

She would most definitely let you do it then. I'm guess your in your late teens since you can drive and you had your period for 6 years, So ask to use the car. Even if you do go threw your doctor and get them, they cant tell her that your on them. Its doctor patient confidentiality. Ask your doctor if he can do it without her consent and see what he/she says.

Q: Okay this is kind of a weird question, but here goes nothing...19/f, he's 20/m
The past couple of times my boyfriend and I have had sex, he's wound up not quite hard enough and complaining that it hurts. Not, like, friction, exactly, but he's mentioned something about me squeezing too hard. We tried it again today and the same thing happened, where it started hurting him and he got kinda soft. He told me he thought it hurt because he wasn't hard enough and there was like, bending and pulling and all that.
The only thing I can think of that either of us changed is his diet. He's cut red meat out, and has been eating only turkey and fish for meat, and everything else healthy. He's a health freak and so am I, but I've never heard of a diet change doing anything like that to someone...
Is it possible?
What else could cause that?

It is a factor because certain foods affect the blood flow of to his penis...I looked this up for ya

The main thing to look for in food is for those ingredients that will keep your blood flowing. The substances contained in these foods are called vasodilators and they work by relaxing the smooth muscles making up the walls of blood vessels. Examples of such food are salmon, tuna, eggs, milk, liver and vegetables like broccoli, carrots, sweet potatoes and tomatoes.

While these foods have no readily detectable influence on your penis size, their presence in your diet can help promote the blood flow that is the key to your erections. If your circulatory system is in perfect working order and if the blood vessels are allowing more blood to pass through the penis, then your erection is bound to be bigger than usual

Q: Um ok so this is embaressing but when a girl and a guy have sex where doees the penis go? Does it go through the vaginal lips or right below where the baby comes out? Please help if you can:)

It goes where the baby comes out.
Think about it...You have to put something in there for a baby to come out of it!! LOL

Q: I've just stared acting in my freshmen year at highschool and ive been in two huge plays as chorus and a hooker( western) and i really liked it and stuff but its just im a very anxiouse person and i have these fears like a week before the play that i'll suck and run off stage. I also want a larger part in a upcoming play but im scared I'll get nervouse on stage and totally blank. What do I do?

Act like noone is watching. Thats all I can tell you. I think everyone gets a little frightended at times. All I can say is reherse in the mirror, then in front of friends and family. AND if you ever have a play, then when you have a play get them to come and ask them to sit all together so you can focus on them and just them being there.

Q: 16/f

I just FINALLY found out my provincial exam marks. I did horribly I can't lie, I completely disappointed myself. I just lost any chance to go to university. I'm really close to hyperventilating and bursting into tears.. how do I cope. I know it's my own fault but it's really upsetting to know how badly I did. A full 20% lower than I expected on all three exams. I don't even know how this is possible. My friends just tell me it doesn't matter, my parents aren't impressed. Thanks..

Can you take this again? Your only 16 so im sure you will have another oppurtunity to do it again. If you cant take it right away, go to a community college for two years then go to a university for two more.

Q: Boys i don't reeeaaaly like constantly ask me out, all different types of boys whatever. I am naturally a subtly flirty person. Sometimes I feel like things could work out and I give them a chance. It never works out, ever. My longest relationship was 2 and a half months. and I have had over 25 "relationships". (not a good track record) I've never been broken up with. Things never really work out with the boys i really fall for. I end up going crazy about them, talking about them to everyone, doodling theyre name in my notebook 374850 times. and then things never go anywhere. Maybe i'm comming on tooo strong. =/ help? please && thankyou

You are coming on too strong. Try getting to know a guy for a couple of months before you date them. And also keep your relationship to yourself. Men dont like gossip queens. and after two months if you think you are "falling" for a guy, slap yourself because you are just lusting for him. And you are basically running him away.

Q: my parents are literally forcing me to go places I don't want to go and do things I don't want to do. All the time. 24/7. I am seriously getting sick of it. My sister doesn't have to go anywhere she doesn't want to only because she doesn't want to.

Like now, for example. My family JUST got back from tubing in this river which was supposed to be only one hour long, but turned out to be six hours. Then we went to a family reunion which was seriously boring because I sat in the same place for 4 or 5 hours doing nothing.

And now, I am FORCED to get up early and FORCED to go to a water park all day with cousins that I don't even like, and FORCED to spend the night with them. No options.

What I'm trying to ask is, can my parents just take complete control over my life like that and force me to do whatever they want me to do? And also, what can I say to my parents to get out of the water park tomorrow?

They are seriously wasting my time... It's getting so old. Please help me!

UMMM WOW!! noone would ever have to force ME to go to a waterpark!! I wouldnt care who its with!!
But about your situation, make the best of it. Your mom and dad just think they are doing whats best. Thats just what they do! and do you just tell them that you dont want to go, or do you give them a good reason other that OH WELL I JUST DONT WANT TO GO!!!
I wish I had your problems!!
sit them down alone and talk to them. Write them a note if you cant get a word in!

Q: okay so i have 2 friends.. birthdays are september 5th and 6th. one on the 5th is turning 16 and the one on the 6th is turning 17. so in our group of friends, there's 6 of us, including those 2. now for their birthdays.. we wanted to throw them like a cool get together party. not really like a hundred people party.. just something cool. like we've heard about people who covered the basement in black paper, wore all white clothes, and had like a splatter paint party. we want it to involve alcohol.. and i am asking for help to try and think of cool party ideas that we could do or themes or anything really fun and unique! thanks for any help!

the basement idea sounds cool.
But you should use like the paint out the glow sticks so it glows in the dark. They dont even have to wear all white for that.

Or you could have a black and white affair type party.
Everyone wears black and white except the birthday girls. It doesnt even have to be black and white, it could be any color you choose. And nothing fancy everyone should just be casual.

Thats about all I got. When my friends and I throw parties, there is no theme!! We just go at it!

Q: On July 22 I was expecting my period, I didn't get it. But since around then, I've been having really heavy, watery discharge, and a lot of it. And sometimes like tonight it will have blood in it. But it's not like my period at all. It's just clear, watery discharge with blood in it.

And I'm really freaked out because I don't know if this is normal, and if it's not I don't know what to do about it. Help?

The two pieces of skin that would actually be the hyman. Thats how a doctor determines if you are a virgin or not so im guessin you are.
Heavy discharge is normal for some girls. Just wear a pantyliner so you wont feel damp.

I have no clue about the brown and wrinkly part. You should type in your search engine "pictures of a normal vagina" and see what pops up

Q: Ok well everyone tell me im a veyr healthy person and even the doctors and stuff but I have a TINY dark spot under ym eye kinda like bags but I always get good sleep and stuff but it wont go away.

I'm not stresed and I'm 13.

I tried sleeping more but it won't go away and i don't want to wear make up to cover it up because I'm a natural person and don't use make up.

And my skin is very healthy and looks the same everywhere so even though it's a little, it's still pretty noticeable.

Is this normal for people who don't wear make up?

Is this the reason why people start wearing make up, to hide things like these and when more things come up they depend on make up even more?

Or is it something different?

dark circles under the eyes could me your iron is low. Try eating things with more iron in them and see if it goes away. AND yes this is indeed te reason people wear makeup. I mean not specifically because everyone does not have this problem. But other things may bother them. Or they just may plain out not like the way they look.

Q: ok so i got off work the other day and was waitin for a ride home.
i ran into this guy and we hit it off pretty good we talked for awhile and exchanged numbers.
we have been talking alot on the phone lately and he keeps saying how he wants me to be his gf but i tell him im not sure
i mean i like him alot but he is 18 and im 14
is that a big enough difference to not date him?
i mean ive dated older guys forever but its illegal since he is 18 not like we'd get in trouble but just the thought. but still i like him alot
ahh
someone help
PLEAZ..

He knows how old you are right?? I mean say you do get caught, he will still get in trouble regardless of what anyone says. Even if your parents said they approved!!
I say you stay friends with this guy and thats about it.

Q: Uhm.. I'm on a VERY low budget, allowance is at a minimal because the family is HUGE and my boyfriends birthday is in August, a festival we plan to go to is in September, in October we're going to a Halloween concert, in November it's out 1 year anniversary, and then there's Christmas. This is all relatively close together..
Any ideas on how I can make super low budget work and afford all of these, pulling off getting decent gifts?

[Credit card was revoked recently.. and paypal isn't an option.. am I just screwed? Lol. >

im guessing you dont have a job??
If you do you cant afford to save a couple of bucks a week?
Try a side job or something. Anything you can get. Cleaning up for someone, watching someone's kids, even doing laundry for someone. People will most definately pay you to help them out.

Q: If you have free minutes after 9 on your cell [verizon], does that include free long distant calls?

You have free long distance calls on cell phones anyways. But if you arent sure, call verizon and ask them. The only way you dont have long distance is if, you have a specific plan that says no long distance. But to answer your question yes. It should be.

Q: oka well i been having my periods late than i usaully start, like usaully i start them like at the end of the month like on the 25th cuz usaully my periods last for only 5 days.well like in june it started a little later like on the 28th of june and end like in july 3th.So now i was suspose to been have it but i didnt and im guessing maybe i will start in august since i already had start in july.BUt what does this mean i never skip a period and this never had happen unless maybe im starting like in the 1st of the month than the last. please help me!
(this all stated in june).

Well you actually havent had a period for july that counts as june's period because it started in june. Mine used to do that and thats what the doctor told me.
NOW anything can make your perid do wierd things, I could be stress related. Maybe your more active than you were. Maybe you are doing something differently. When your hormones change, so do your periods. So dont get so worked up about it.

Q: I saw that a girl had music going when I viewed her pictures. Exactly how would you go about doing that? Thanks.

You go to an artist page. And they normally have a music player on their page. Its called a standalone player. If you hear a song you like click add. and myspace will ask you, do you really want to add it say yes and it willbe on there. AND also if you are on someone else's page and you want their song, you can click add on their music player and it will add it to your page.

Q: 16/F
The school year is coming up, and I want to look great. I'm not a girly girl, but i do wear skirts and some cute things. I feel best in a hoodie and pants tho.
I'm not super skinny, but I have a great body. I do have that tummy that hangs out when I sit tho. I'm 5'5, Taller then most my friends, but shorter then the guys(i have a boyfriend going to college tho.))
So what can I wear??
In my school we're not allowed to have tank tops without anything over it. The straps of our shits have to be two fingers wedith.
I have a thing with shirts. I sweat, but I'm going to wal*mart to buy this stuff.
I Like hollister cloths, but I never pick out super cute things. But This year, I'm trying to go shopping with my friend, and she is truthful about how cloths look.
So good idea right?
Any ideas on what to wear?(pictures maybe)

Now Hair.
I have short hair. To my shoulders. Im use to having long hair. I got my hair cut in May, but I have no idea how to wear it. I have straight hair. So I wear it straight, and I can srunch it. I do the little srunched hair half way up with straight bangs down. Which is cute.
Any other ideas?(maybe a picture of step by step or something to tell you how to fix your hair?)

Thanks a ton!! =]

No pictures but if you like hollister I know you will like abercrombie, or aeropostale. The have cute polo shirt and they arent too girly. Neither is aeropostale. The have cute but kind of sporty stuff.

With your hair, do you ever wear it parted?
You should have a side part and swoop your bangs around. And maybe scrunch it or pull it up in the back? That would be cute.

P.S. well they sell curling irons that are small enough to curl short hair. Im pretty sure you can find them in walmart too!

Q: K so my dad gets this texting plan with verizon, that has unlimited to people with verizon also, and 500 to people with different services. Anyways my dad said they charged me like 30 dollars extra for texting 700 messages (but they were to my friend who had VERIZON. i didnt even text anyone without it yet!) I'm SUPPOSED to have UNLIMITED! What is wrong here? My dad called up verizon and they didnt give an explanation or something. I dont know. but still. wtf? What happened? Its only like 10 or 15 dollars a month or something. And we got charged 30 dollars extra (not even a full week after I got the plan too!)

Verizon is messing up. Its not you. Why dont you have the unlimited plan for all networks? Its probably just the same amount and you can ext anyone you want. You should keep calling verizon until they correct it too.

Q: Recently iv been having a really shitty time, Im 15.
Over the last few weeks i have had an abortion, one ofmy best friends has died, my parents have been arguing, my two best friends have drifted away from me and stopped speaking to me, and iv been feeling the lowest iv ever felt.
I didnt think that the abortion had really affected me mentally until recently.
But iv got it into my head that my friends death was somehow my punishment for having an abortion.
i know this is probably irrational and im normally quite a rational person buti canrt stop thinking it.
I feel really alone and now rarely leave teh house, and when i do, i just get really wrecked smokign drugs and drinkng spirits.
I cry all the time and cant stop myself.
i just feel so shitty and cant find any joy in doing anything.
I dont know what to do to sort myself out
im so confused.
if anyone can give me any advice that would help so much
thanks
xxxx

You should get some counseling. When you take something a way like a baby it wrecks you mentally. Its nowhere near your fault that your friend died. You did what you thought was right. Drinking and doing drugs isn't going to make anything better, its just going to make your more depressed. You should live for your friend. Think about what your friend would want for you. And your parents fighting, that's between them. You should even worry about that.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.