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really?
" You are not a good mother. You started off by bringing not one, not two, not three, but four children into this world when you're clearly in a terrible situation. I realize that that's an oversimplification of the situation, but I doubt you were living the good life when you became pregnant with baby number four. The more children you have, the more resources you'd better have ready to put into them so that they can live happy, healthy lives. You appeared to have made a misstep somewhere back, but that's okay because there's nothing you can do about it now. It's in the past.
But even barring past mistakes and leaving those to history, a quick summary of your question STILL debunks your "I'm a good mother" statement. You're with a man that continually robs you of the money you rightfully want to put into your kids. He blows it gambling, doesn't support your family at all, and leaves for days at a time. However, your rational for not leaving is that your family isn't there for you. Don't you think this could be due to your outright unwillingness to really entertain the thought of leaving this man? You say you deserve to be happy. You don't. Your kids deserve to be happy, not you. You forfeited your happiness when you became pregnant with your first child. What's best for your kids is to leave this man no matter what. Go to your family. Go to your friends. File a police report. Something. Sitting around fuming over him not wishing you a happy Mother's Day will do nothing when your children are being absolutely robbed of their own happiness. You are an accessory to this crime. "
I am VERY HONESTLY sorry for picking at your advise and i really have no right to and im aware of that. I am going to go against my beleifs and bud into this remark. My mother was in the same state, not to the exact but to an extent. I feel like this imformation you gave to her is completly rediculious. You do NOT call any woman a bad mother when you dont know them, a bad mother doesnt care or take care of her kids.. this mother clearly loves and takes care of her kids. Certain situations define certain peoples actions and there was clearly reason for why she didnt leave him, its not as easy as you think Matt, i wouldnt have said anything if you didnt call her a bad mother, and tell her she doesnt deserve to be happy. Yes, her kids deserve to be happy but that REALLY doesnt mean that she doesnt as well. That is a very discusting thing to say to a woman in time of need. Guys lie and make you think there someone there not. He clearly did this with her, she didnt just walk into the relationship knowing he was an asshole who was going to make everything harder on her, i agree with you when you say she shouldnt have brought 4 kids into the world if she wasnt ready, i can give you that. But since there already in the world there is no reason to bother her with that dession she made probley 10 years ago, that is not why she asked for your advice. If i were that woman i would feel like a terrible mother, a terrible person, and a speck of sand, and you Matt, should not be making her feel that way. I once again apologize for going out of line and ripping apart your way of thinking but i think you need to clear your way of thinking when it comes to motherhood. Also i recommend you to not give advice on mothering if you aren't aware of what your talking about.
Oh and when people ask you questions you really shouldnt answer with "get a life" that proves that you shouldnt be on this site... noone asks you questions to hear that remark, ive notives your quite rude to alot of people looking for your help. That makes you look like some guy sitting behind a computer using it as a mote and taking advantage of it by giving out rude remarks. You really shouldnt have a column if your going to make the people who need advice feel like crap. Lots of your advice is very good becuase you clearly have expirience with certain things, but take MY advice becuase right now " all you are is mean" -Taylor swift.
Throwing off one or two more honest apologies, i feel bad for saying this and i really have no say in anything, but i dont care, that comment and afew others REALLY bothered me so i think you need to know this, sorry.
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You're entitled to your opinion and your Taylor Swift quotes and the false idea that you have somehow "ripped apart" my advice, so I'm glad you got this off your chest.
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