|
he just deployed
Hello im 19 and my husband just deployed to Afghanistan. We just said goodbye about 3 hours ago. My mind just seems so cloudy and i feel like my life was just ripped from me. I didn't think it was going to be this hard. I knew it was going to be hard but it was alot more difficult than i thought it was going to be. We've been married almost a year and he's only been home for about 4 months. When he left for basic and AIT it was hard for me but i feel like that was nothing compared to what im feeling now. I wont see him until around next Halloween. I need something to keep my mind off of him. I just feel so stressed out and i dont know what to do, or how to feel. I basically just want to know that everything im feeling is okay. Has anybody else been through a deployment? Thanks for listening. I'm just having a really hard time :(
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
ahh, this is an excellent question.
I've been on the other end of this before, I've watched spouses, and entire Family readiness groups fail or thrive depending on how they deal with the deployment. first off, I am assuming you're in contact with his unit's FRG. A family readiness group can make or break the deployment depending on whether the group as a whole is mature enough to succeed. If you go to an FRG meeting and you don't feel more relaxed about the situation you're in- stop going. if you can, make some friends among the spouses in your husband's unit. the older women in the group have been through this many times before, and they can help you. if you don't already have hobbies, find some. My buddy's wife, Jaime, spent the whole time we were downrange cooking and baking stuff, and she's bring the food down to Squadron HQ and got all of our rear-detachment guys fat. she showed me her schedule for the week that she kept up, it was like a war plan, every day, she had something to do from wake up to bed time. If you're into sewing, there's quilt guilds everywhere, and boy, do they have some activities for you. My mom's a master quilter, and spent both of my deployments volunteering for an organization called "Quilts of Valor" making quilts for dudes that got hurt downrange. Everywhere you look, you can find an activity or hobby to keep you occupied. don't let yourself have any completely free time, thats your enemy because you will fall into a thinking trap and get worried sick about him. and when he calls home, don't focus on the negative. sure, if something's messed up, he needs to know, but his calls home should be focused on the positive. "oh, I just spent the week working on this really cool project, I'll email you pictures" is so much better to hear than "the electrical bill is late, the car broke down, the dog died..". That one thing can save a marriage. I chatted with my girlfriend every chance I could because I missed her, and I wanted to hear about her day so I could forget the absolutely crazy situation around me for 30 minutes.
there's not much else more I can say without beating a dead horse, so I'm going to leave you with my favorite statistic-
as a Cavalry Scout, I was more likely to die in a car accident driving through philadelphia than I was to get hurt in afghanistan. he's got 100,000 close friends out there watching his back.
good night, good luck, and have fun this year.
-Gunner
]
More Questions: |