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Him as a waiter
My boyfriend has been looking for a second job since he could get kicked out of his house any second now. He dropped some of his classes, and just took one online class. Which he just finished. He was applying as a waiter, which I for some reason didn't like because seeing my sister work as a waitress for such a long time; she has a lot of health problems, such as back hurting and etc. I didn't want him to become one because of that and also because since he has a curfew of 10, he won't be home till later, especially if it includes counting tips and etc. But what bothers me more is that, he probably won't have enough time to see me. I mean, I have school every day morning to afternoon. He doesn't, but he's training now in the afternoon till night, and I always see him at night. I guess because it's been like this for 7 months, it's hard to cope with the change so fast since I'm so used to it. I feel selfish, I probably am selfish. But probably what scares me the most are the girl waitresses. I'm not sure if there are girl waitresses, because this is a Japanese restaurant. For some reason Japanese restaurant's over here either choose mainly guys or girls to work as waitresses or waiters. I guess I've been watching too many movies about guys for some reason ends up cheating on girls, and that somewhat effects me. But also because he's been pushing me away lately because we have been getting into fights. He tried breaking up with me at one point, but then realized he still loved me and came back. Then two to three days ago, he said that I am probably better off without him and he'd rather want me to find someone else. He tried breaking up again, I was heartbroken. He said he still loved me, and he wants to be with me, but it seems like he can't do anything right. So I feel as if a girl can jump in any time soon since he can leave me any time soon as well. It gets me worried. I know talking to him about it should help, but I know what he's going to say. "I don't care about other girls, I'm going to still have time for you, but you're going to have to understand I can't see you all the time." I do understand, but even if he says he doesn't care about other girls, I still worry a bit. Anything could happen.
The reason why I still worry is because he says no girl ever likes him, it's "rare" apparently. But I liked him. But now, towards other girls... Even when they just first meet him he is really nice.. I mean really nice. When I met him, he was always mean to me. He always gave me this "douche vibe". I guess I find it unfair? I don't know. I'm trying to be supportive, because I know he really needs this job. But it's really hard.
I'm trying not to cry, because I'm probably just worrying myself out. But I can't help it, tears are just coming down by itself. I told him I was insecure, and he said "Oh.. Really? Even if I don't care about other girls?" I said, "Yes really." And he said, "Oh.. Sorry, I need to treat you a lot better huh?" I asked what that meant, he ended up saying "If you're that insecure, that means I'm not treating you very well." He treats me well, I guess because I'm scared that he can leave any minute now. I mean, I was never insecure before. But now I am. What am I going to do?
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So he's on the verge of being kicked out of his house, he's already dropped classes in preparation for taking on another job, and he's making good on that by applying to be a waiter.
That's serious shit. Yet, in return, you respond by coming up with a bunch of bullshit about him being mean to you when you first met and your sister being a waitress and him not having as much time to see you.
You're both bitches. You for being so insecure that you're trying to negatively impact his life out of your own selfishness, and him for actually allowing you to do it.
Sad.
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