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Hi...I need some advice from YOU XD
Background info. Me &nd my boyfriend Jeff* have known each other since we were 5, we're 16 now. He has always had a crush on me for as long as I can remember lol but I just started liking him my sophomore year, we're juniors now.
Okay now to the story. Well me and Jeff just started going together again on wednesday. We were together for eight months until we broke up for a month. But that's not the problem because I want to make it work this time. I love him and he loves me so nothing or nobody is going to stand in the way of that. So now comes the part where I talk about his best friend, she's a girl *sigh* lol. Right before Jeff and me first started going together he told me he liked Lisa* (his best friend) but I didn't care because I liked and wanted him. Rewind to a few months ago before our break up I started getting the feeling he still liked her but I didn't say anything. After our break up I still thought he liked Lisa and she actually told my best friend that she liked Jeff and that he liked her too. Now Lisa and me we're friend but we aren't anymore. I didn't like that she was smiling in my face while she wanted my ex boyfriend. I asked Jeff if he liked her he said they were just friend. I told him I didn't believe him but whatever. Then we started going together again. Jeff and Lisa ride the same bus and they sit together *shocker*, my best friend over heard Jeff basically complaining to Lisa that they don't spend much time together and etc. Then Lisa says well you spend most of your free time with Keri (that's me), and he says "No I don't". Then Lisa says "I can already tell Keri has a problem with me". Ugh that bitch, I just want to punch her in her face. What should I do? I've tried holding my tongue by discontinuing to talk to her, but I feel myself about to snap. I don't want to run to Jeff telling him about Lisa because I've never done that and I don't want to. Sorry its so long.
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First off, thanks for the inbox!!!
Now to the advice :-):
I know you dont want Jeff and Lisa to be best friends, but unfortunately thats what they are. Its okay if they are friends, but thats it. Trust until he cant be trusted, meaning trust him until he gets caught cheating or doing something completely out of line. <thats my motto.> Also, as for the talking about you behind your back, that is completely unacceptable. Never should a boyfriend EVER listen to even their closest friend, rag on their girlfriend, without standing up for them. Part of relationships working out means open communication, if he is talking about you behind your back and not to your face...well, you guessed it-not open communication. You would not be the bitchy girlfriend for talking to him about this, you have a right to.
I will say there is a right way and a wrong way to do this though. The wrong way would to straight up start a texting/convo/aim/whatever fight with him, and accuse him. To start, (the right way,) stay calm. Ask him to talk to you, and when you do talk, go somewhere privately. Tell him what you heard, and see what he says. If he says he didnt, then re-evaluate who you are finding out information from, or evaluate whether or not he is lying to you. Second of all, you need to express to him that you want to make it work, and you need to know if he wants it to work too. There has to be OPEN communication, whenever there is a conflict or even if you are just slightly bothered for some reason, you both need to talk to each other about it. Your relationship is yours and Jeff's buisness only, nobody else's. Good luck!!!! Let me know if you need help with anything else at all! I hope this helped!
xosodapopx3
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