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Silence is best?
I really don't have much of a question. Thank you for your insight. I agree with you. I have not wanted to accept the truth. Even as friends with him I want to feel more important and what I really feel is like I am the lowest totem on his pole. We have different ideas on friendships unfortunately. I know he cares in his strange way. He is very good at keeping me around by just a little bit of nothing. I think sometimes that if we hadn't gotten physical that perhaps we could have formed more of the friendship that i want with him but maybe not. I can't change it and if I step back and get a good perspective I might see it all for what it is/was. I have learned a lot from knowing him. I won't go thru it again with anyone. It has been confusing and overwhelming since day 2 and I want to be done with it. At my age and with 2 children I don't want a bunch of male "friends" I want good and solid friendships with men and women that I know that I can rely on. Ultimately I would like just 1 close male friend and from that point we can build mutual friends 2gether. I don't need a bunch of random males coming around to confuse my boys. They have not seen their father in 2.5 years. In your opinion, do you think it is best to just not speak to my 'friend' anymore or to tell him I am done? He tends to stop by without telling me first...which i like....but it just fools me over and over. Maybe if he does stop by I can ask him not to?? I believe what I had with him is infatuation and it hit me hard.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yes, I do think it's best not to speak to your friend anymore. Actually he's not your friend. Friends are there to comfort and help and quide. Friends should be out for you good.
And if he stops by with out telling you, don't answer the door. Don't answer his calls either, he'll get the message.
And yes, I think if you hadn't gotten physical with him, you probably wouldn't be in the situation. I now it's old school, but if a man won't wait for you then he's not out for your good. After a man says I do and you've married, then you can make beautiful love with someone who loves you mutally. God made it that way for a reason, because of these situations. So make a man wait. And yes 10 times out of 10 they won't stay around if you won't sleep with them, but that's not a bad thing when it comes to your respect, dignity, integrity and especially your children. You want a good male example for you children. You don't want someone who's not going to respect you in front of your kids.
I truly understand, I'm 37 never been married, and I have 2 boys. I would rather be by myself than to have the wrong example for my kids. I have just met a really nice man and I still don't know what will come of it, but he's knows I am not going to sleep with him, and he knows that he won't be around my boys, and that I'll be his friend and if it grows then fine.
You have to stay in control of your life.
So make a clean break, you don't have to invite him over to say don't come around anymore, just stop all communication now. Don't give him the chance to sweet talk ya.
Pray and ask God for a male friend. I did, and it has taken a while, but he's here.
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