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TOO Bold??
14/f -- Sorry this might be long! :(
So there's this guy from my school that I've never really talked... but Friday night, I was on Facebook and he randomly just started talking to me. So he was nice and all, but then he really started to suprise me...
-Friday night: First he kind of casually slipped in that I was really pretty. Then we talked for awhile, and then he asked me for my number, so I gave it to him (I lost my phone about a month ago, so explained to him that I probably couldn't talk on it for awhile). Then he started saying (after we had talked for maybe a half an hour) that I was really cool and it felt like we'd known each other for awhile. Then I had to leave, and I told him so, and he said, "OK bye. And I know I didn't say this before, but you're really beautiful :)"
-Over the weekend we didn't talk that much, just mostly told me I was beautiful and etc.
-Monday night: He greeted me with "Hey, beautiful :)". Also, I've been beginning to notice he talks a lot about how he treats his girlfriends (ex., holding their hand, listening to them, etc...). Then, kind of randomly, he goes, "If we knew each other better, would you go out with me?" And I just said it depended. (I like a different guy MUCH more than I like him). He started saying that he wished my phone would turn up so we could text because he had to leave soon. He was really starting to rattle some nerves... Then when I had to go (it ended up I left before he did) he says, "Ok, bye :(. I would tell you I love you, but I'll wait until we know eachother better." I just kind of laughed that off a little.
Tuesday night (Tonight): Greeted me with "Hey, beautiful" again. I didn't want to start going through teh usually ruintine where I can't even joke with him cause he's giving me so many compliments, so I tried changing the subject (Social Studies). Then randomly he goes "So, how far have you gone with a guy?" Now I was seriously getting either mad or freaked out (maybe both?) So I just said, "Uhm, not very far." and he just says, "So just kiss, and that's it?" and I said, "No, not even kiss. lol." (I've never even had a boyfriend, but I wasn't going to tell him that!) and he just says oh. So after a minute of not saying anything, he goes, "Maybe I could be your first one?" And I was thinking, OK, HOLD IT WISE GUY!! But instead, I said, "....lol??" and he goes, "I'm was being serious... so could i?" But luckily I didn't have to answer cause one of my best friends got on and I told him I couldn't talk.
Ok, now before I go on, I think I should let you know that I am 99.999887% sure this guy is a player. He has asked three of my best friends out, calls my OTHER best friend beautiful, and just broke up with this other girl. My friend also asked him if he liked me, and he said I don't know. Who knows what else he could be doing? I asked him awhile ago if "he is usually like this with girls" and he said no. Then I said "are you sure?" and he goes, "yeah I'm sure. What do you think I'm playing you or something?"
So I really need help. It's not that I don't feel safe around him or anything... no, not that at all... it's just he kind of... creeps me out a little? I mean I would really want to be friends with him, he seems like a nice guy. I just don't want to be...whatever he wants to be. I can never be, just, friends with him--I can never joke or say anything about myself (like, wow, I'm dumb!) without him rushing to my defence, or talk about anything besides my ex boyfriends... the thing is, I've never had a boyfriend!!
My main questions are:
1.Do all/ most boys act like this when they want to seriously go out with a girl?
2. How am I supposed to tell him I don't like him in a way that won't make things akward between us?
3. Is this a really bad situation that I should avoid at all costs?
Thank you so so SO much for taking the time to read this and answer1 Any kind of help is appretiated!!!
THANK YOU!!
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Ok. I'm going to tell you about something i experienced myself, then advice, then answer your questions.
First of all i had a creepy guy like him long time ago, asking me about sexual stuff. He was a player, he wanted to sleep with me and he even admit that, i didn't know him so well and we kind of spoke randomly, he started it. He is the hottest guy in school and couple of others school. He has the hottest girlfriend in town. So i wanted to be clever, i mean he keeps on calling me asking me to go over his house again and again. It was kind of getting annoying but i wanted to give him a lesson and i didn't want to give up. So one night we were chatting and i got used to his dirty talk, so i pitched in to see what is he going to do next. That asshole asked me to strip for me, but i refused and my excuse was so lame. So he thought that if he stripped for me on the camera i will for him afterwards and i made sure he actually believes that, so HE DID STRIP FOR ME. I got my camera and recorded all of that.
You just described a manwhore right here "He has asked three of my best friends out, calls my OTHER best friend beautiful, and just broke up with this other girl. My friend also asked him if he liked me, and he said I don't know."
So what's the problem? You either play him and give him a lesson, but if you can't and it's not your personality DON'T EVER SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN.
All he wants is to kiss and blah blah
So if you don't want to do anything with him, then don't talk to him.
Good Luck
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Hey there. I'm really glad that you realize that he is kinda creepy. A lot of girls probably wouldn't, but that shows that you're one smart cookie.
1. No. I mean, nice guys won't hesitate to compliment girls, but this guy sounds a little overbearing. I'm sure that he is being very truthful when he compliments you, but it's up to you to draw the line somewhere. You seem to have enough respect for yourself to not put up with any B.S.
2. You can take the easy way out and blame it on your parents. Say that you're not allowed to date, or that you're grounded for a really long time. Or that your computer broke and you can't go online. Meanwhile, block him on instant messenger or whatever. You could always just tell him that you only want to be friends. But if I were you, I would quit talking to him altogether.
3. It's not really bad, but you should avoid it. Just tell him that you should be friends, and that's it. Period.
There are a lot of sleazy guys out there, but there are also nice guys who would do anything to make you happy. The guy you're talking about sounds like a player who isn't worth your time. Wait for a guy that will respect you.
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1. No, but a lot of guys get a power trip out of hooking up with fairly "innocent" girls. We call them child molesters once they hit age ~20.
2. Just tell him to back off. He sounds like a pervert and are you honestly worried about whether you'll be able to retain a sustained honest friendship with this guy?
3. No. Not all costs. Avoiding nuclear holocaust would be worth it. I would also probably say anything over $200 would be worth it. Other than that, yes, this is a bad situation.
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